Hair Loss – Wigs – Reflections

by admin on September 14, 2018

reflectionsReflected. Reflect. Reflections.
Evolved. Evolve. Evolving.

Words. Just words.

My own hair loss situation, has evolved greatly over the years. Mostly, in how I dealt with it.

Adapted. Accepted. From cutting off most of my hair over time, to finding a short style to work to provide optimal hair wearing results for myself ( since I pull out pieces of my front hair line), to also accepting the progressive decline, but ultimately learning to live with my situation to where it no longer controlled me. That included being honest about my hair loss, and wig wearing with those around me.

I am 40, and started losing my hair at 21. My entire 20’s and some of my 30’s were lost to tears of hopelessness. It’s the whole reason I started the Women’s Hair Loss Project in 2007. It was the bottom of my bottom and there just wasn’t anyone out there online at the time for women, speaking about women’s hair loss, or at least no one I found that spoke to me and my situation, or at least could relate to (and definitely not in 1999 at the beginning of my hair loss) and I just felt alone, utterly alone.

Not sure if 40 was the “hit the wall” number for my own hair, but it has been rough year, and it’s currently on the rapid decline within the hair line and temporal region. It will be the second time this year, my own hair is taking such a hit that it is declining to the point that it doesn’t seem at the moment anyways, that too much time is left on my side before having to pivot and adjust again… for my hair loss.

What does that mean? It means I have to potentially open another door of this journey for myself. I do not want to watch the decline of myself in the mirror, so if it sustains the loss/rate it is now, I will have to shave my head, which oddly I’m not really that scared of doing… or don’t feel that way anyways at this time. But, as someone whose worn wigs while using minimal amounts of my frontal hairline in blending my pieces, this creates a WHOLE new situation. I’ve played around with bangs, which never look awesome for my shape of face (it’s moments like this I wish I looked like the beautiful queen of bangs, Zooey Deschanel, alas I don’t, I usually look like I’m 12 years old in bangs ). I will keep trying of course, and also I may have to explore the one type of wig I haven’t really utilized which is the lace-front wig, which doesn’t require you to use any of your hair line.

So I try to keep the thoughts simple for myself during this time.

I know I can shave my head, (or I think so anyways) without too much emotional attachment to it…that has been years in the making. I know I can wear wigs (I have been doing so since 2012) and I’m okay with that part too. Now it’s bridging the gap between the two, which on paper seems like not a big leap, but I’ve adjusted to my hair loss, hair wearing in one way, and now my way of being (or living and dealing with my hair loss) has to shift again.



{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Kelsey September 14, 2018 at 3:26 pm

Yes, yes, yes! Every single time I think I have this thing nailed down, BOOM! I get hit from a new hair loss plot twist. This post popped into my email at a time when I was particularly vulnerable. Thank you for posting and know that you will rock whatever style you end up with! Kelsey

Marilyn September 14, 2018 at 3:49 pm

Ditto with me – I have struggled with hair loss for about 10 years. I went out yesterday and bought a wig. So hard to come to terms with it. Thank you for your honesty. We all suffer in silence.

Colleen September 14, 2018 at 4:08 pm

I have thought about that moment also if or when I won’t be able to use my own hair. I like to think of my hairloss like a season, always changing! But with each season I become less stressed and worried, my family is a great support and I too tell people about my hairloss! Girl u will look great no matter what u wear and and the end of the day it’s whats in your heart that really matters, remeber this too when our friends start getting crappy hair cause getting old/menopause ours will look amazing!! Hugs girl!!

Jennica September 14, 2018 at 4:22 pm

This hit home today. My hair is growing increasingly thinner and I cry every time I need to get ready to leave the house. I wear my hair the same way every day to cover the massive thinning of my hairline. My scalp is visible if i leave my hair down so I cut it into a bob hoping it will spring up a little with some volume. Yeah right. I’m close to just cutting it all off and getting a buzz cut along with my boys. My husband is supportive but is getting weary of hearing me cry and complain about it. I’m so tired of being alone in this. Thank you for reminding me that I’m not.

ANNAMARIE September 14, 2018 at 4:25 pm

I understand, I’ve been through that struggle. After my first wig purchase I tried it on 100 times for the first week until I finally owned it and wore it to lunch with a supportive friend. I was shocked no one stood up and pointed or laughed at me. It got easier to deal with over time and now I embrace it. If I was given the choice between sight, hearing, polio, any affliction …I would choose alopecia every single time. I’m 70 and I promise you if you are otherwise healthy you will be okay with it some day. You’ll never have a bad “hair” day.

Amy September 14, 2018 at 4:25 pm

Yes, I am with you. Accepting is the state I still struggle with. Looking in the mirror and not seeing the women I thought I knew. Trying to be more than just my hair. But it was beautiful- long, thick curly hair, I miss it. and how I saw myself. I’m not a bang person either……………am trying

MJ Truelove September 14, 2018 at 4:34 pm

I too used to have really thick hair. I was 20 years old and my hair started thinning… you am know 40 and I have very thin hair on top ..

Emily September 14, 2018 at 4:56 pm

I so relate to everything you say. It’s hard to believe it’s been 7 years and I’m still riding the emotional waves. Most times I’m just numb to it now. I wear wigs everyday and it’s familiar to me but but oddly not at the same time. I’m still searching for ‘the one’. I’m still feeling the loss or the loss of things I used to do easily that I did with hair like swim, workout, just not think about it all the time etc. I think that’s the main thing really. I’m just always aware of it in every situation and that’s the biggest pain in the ass. Otherwise my hair looks freaking awesome. I’m so thankful for the amazing wigs that are made nowadays:-) Thank you for having this wonderful forum!!

Angie T September 14, 2018 at 5:52 pm

Just last week I finally cut my bio hair short. I can wear it around the house if I use tinted shampoo and Toppik. But I have been wearing wigs for several years. I can’t wear a lace front, my skin is too sensitive. I went with light, fringy bangs this time. Blunt bangs can only be pulled off by a lucky few!

I can only afford one decent wig a year so it had to be a workhorse. I’m resigned to wearing bangs forever.

You’re the one who inspired me to wear a wig in the first place and it changed my life! You’re an absolute rock star to me. If you decide to shave your head you’ll likely inspire others to do the same.

And just think, it’d be over. Done. You’d never have to see shedding again! You have the most gorgeous wigs I have ever seen and I’m sure with the talents of Sofie you will look fabulous.

Xoxo, Angie

Kathleen September 14, 2018 at 6:07 pm

I really appreciate (and need!) this website.
Its amazing how eventhough I’ve been wearing hair for two years – and my “hair” now looks so much better than my own bio does, I still get upset every time I remove my hair piece.
Reading that others go through the same thing helps a great deal. Thank you!

Nancy September 15, 2018 at 5:20 am

Hello Kelsey,
I have experienced extensive hair loss since trying low level laser treatments as an attempt to thicken my temporal areas that had gradually thinned over many years. It is now becoming more difficult to make my hair presentable, and have thought about a hair supplement (partial hairpiece). I’ve been told they are very hard on the existing hair. Any thoughts or suggestions? Thank you! Nancy

Am September 15, 2018 at 10:40 am

And this too shall pass… your courage and honesty have always amazed me. You’re a voice in the darkness of women’s hairloss and when I’m down and hopeless about my own struggle I pray for an ounce of your perseverance.

Lynda September 15, 2018 at 12:24 pm

My hair started falling out 8 yrs ago, 3 months after my boyfriend died. I shaved my head and it felt liberating. Clean. But ultimately, it was too much face! Plus, I’m 70 so I look like a bald old man! Now I have 7 wigs and I can make a cute look any time. I realized there are more important things to worry about. If you’re only 40, believe me, you are beautiful!

Margy September 15, 2018 at 2:00 pm

I am part of this silent struggle too… the worst part is that most women have such normal amount of hair and can’t understand why me. Anyway, this is the way it is and I have to cope with it. Sometimes I don’t want to leave the house, I don’t want people to see me. Fixing my hair is a monumental task…
anyway, I am not telling you anything you don’t know. Sorry, I had to vent…
I have used Rogaine for years and stoped using it because I think it makes my head very sensitive and I get a lot of headaches. I hope I don’t end up with with some other kind of problem because of Rogaine. I do think Rogaine slowed down, or stopped my hair loss. I have very little hair but it hasn’t changed in years. I also went through 3 grueling sessions of Plasma injections. I didnt see any difference, but my hairdresser says my hair feels thicker. I have not tried a wig yet. Where do I start? Where is the best place to get a good one? I would really appreciate any information that can help me. Thank you

Adriana September 18, 2018 at 2:27 pm

I’m 20, and I’ve been struggling with hair loss a little over a year. It was caused by the birth control pill Lo Loestrin. I shaved my head last month, and it has liberated me. Shaving your head is the way to go, in my opinion.

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