Yesterday I was talking to my mom on the phone and she was telling me about a little girl she saw at the store that reminded her of me as a kid. She said “the little girl had really really thick auburn hair, lots and lots of hair, very long and pretty.” She also reminded me how I used to lay my head on her lap and she would brush my long thick hair. *sigh* That is certainly a harmless comment, except I no longer have that super thick hair, and haven’t for quite sometime, so it still hurt me and brought me down ever so briefly. I used to have that insanely thick hair, even as a 3 year old my bangs were thicker than all of the hair I have today. Oddly enough at around age 3 I had red hair even though there are no red heads in my family. That color changed over the years, until I dyed it fire engine red when I was 18. I’m glad I did that and enjoyed my hair during the those years. Looking back at old pictures of my firey red hair, I feel sadness and loss, but I take a deep breath and say “that is then, this is now, moving forward.”
I’m a different person today because of my hair loss, I’m more understanding, compassionate, non judgmental and more patient. I’ve pondered the meaning of beauty and of strength. I’ve come to realize I can’t control everything, but what I can control is my outlook, and how I let “uncontrollable” things affect me. It’s a work in progress 🙂
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The Women’s Hair Loss Project is looking for creative, passionate and knowledgeable volunteer hair loss writers to write original articles for our blog. You must have a good command of the English language and be able to effectively communicate your thoughts through words. You don’t have to be a professional writer by any means, just need to be passionate and with a desire to help other women and write articles that other female hair loss sufferers can relate to and learn from.
If you had a test that would tell you with some degree of certainty whether or not you were destined to lose your hair, would you take it? We don’t really have to make that decision because it isn’t available for women, however, men now have that choice. There has been much buzz surrounding the new genetic test called, “Hair DX.” According to their website, ” HairDX reports about a genetic variant found in more than 95% of bald men. Scientists found that people with this genetic variant are at 60% risk of going bald by the age of 40. HairDX also reports about a less common genetic variant of the same gene, that if present indicates a greater than 85% likelihood of not going bald before the age of 40. ”
A friend of mine sent this to me in an email, I’ve never actually spoken about my hair loss with this person so of course I’m thinking… SHE KNOWS!! But she sent it to like 50 other people at the same time so I guess that is me just being paranoid. Or is it? 🙂 The story is about attitude, but the subject matter was of particular interest to me. Here it is:
I’ve managed to catch a cold/flu buggy thing again. Lucky me. But I was doing a bit of pondering over this last week as I would take my dog for his early morning walk (which he is still waiting for today by the way) about life. I’d walk along the streets in the brisk morning and just think about how lucky I am to be here, to be healthy (for the most part) to have my hearing, my sight and my wits about me. I am alive. What a gift huh? It isn’t going to last forever, we only have this moment because the future is uncertain and not promised to any of us. How could I have let the last 8 (almost 9) years slip away. Not lived, but only existed. What a waste that has been. My hair loss has caused me more agony and devastation than anything. I’ve felt I’ve lost myself a little bit each time I watched tons of my hair fall out and my scalp showed a little more. I’ve felt depression so deep and never thought I’d have strength to get out of bed again.
Recently I received an email from a woman named Danielle who was writing on behalf of her friend James. She wrote “Hi. I know this is not what this site is to be used for, but I’m looking for a companion for my friend, James. He’s such a wonderful person and has an amazing heart, but has suffered with alopecia for over 10 years. This condition has held him back from so many experiences (mostly because of the rejection it has caused) and I am frightened he will never find that special someone he deserves. I’m not telling him that I’m looking into this (he would be very mad as he has no self confidence left), but I feel this is the only way I could help him meet someone. Please let me know if we could post this. I know him very well and can answer just about anything anyone wants to know. I appreciate your help. Thank you.”
Hi Everyone, It’s been awhile since I’ve written. I’ve been so busy with my job and my new nephew and of course my hair, what else. I definitely have enhanced coping skills but there is no denying the impact hair loss has on my life today. Tonight I have a get together with some friends I have not seen in a year, I was actually suppose to have this dinner weeks ago! But I managed to wiggle out of it with an excuse to only delay the inevitable. It sounds awful I know. I mean I going to be spending time with my fiance and a great wonderful couple, but all I think about it my hair. I’d wiggle my way out one more time if I could, but I just can’t. I actually cried about it days ago when the final plans were made. I was so upset after my fiance hung up the phone finalizing the time, making reservations and everything. I felt angry and sad. I had a major meltdown and was crying, and all at once I was flooded with all my hair loss devastation emotions. Each day since I’ve been looking at today like some kind of punishment. I hate feeling this way. But I know better, I know how I regret looking back on the last 8 years of life and missing out on so many things, fun, laughter… living. I’ll do my best to make myself feel good. I’ll start getting reading extra like 4 hours early because I have to prepare for my possible hair frustrations. Nothing is worse that have a hair tantrum and being late at the same time. So if I start early I’ll have plenty of time to prepare myself physically and emotionally 🙂 Who knows, I may even end up having a good time. I’ll keep everyone posted about how it goes.
