Why Is Self Acceptance So Hard? Random Thoughts

by admin on March 7, 2008

You know what, my dog doesn’t care if I have hair so crazy thick like the Pantene girl or two like Homer Simpson. He’d love me fat, he’d love me bald, he’d love me in ugly clothes. He’d love me because he loves me and he doesn’t judge those things. Why do I judge myself so harshly? Why does society judge so harshly? Everyone always says it, but often it is difficult to make yourself believe, beauty comes from within. That is the truth. We are all going to get old, and looks fade, but who we are inside, how we treat other people, how we impact their lives… that will last through our lifetime and beyond.

But it is difficult to translate that idea to the brain when you stand in front of a mirror and hardly recognize the person staring back. It will sound funny, but when I attempt to clip my hair with a butterfly clip (hard to do with not a lot of hair) I resemble an ICE CREAM CONE! Hard to explain but let me tell you, it isn’t a good look! :)

Admittedly, I watch American Idol more for checking out Paula’s latest hair than for the actual singing competition. She is a hair wearer, love her for that, and she looks so darn good. It is a testament to how good hair can look. It changes pretty much weekly and it gives me hope.

The other problem I find myself confronted with is finding a really good local salon that can provide quality hair without having to mortgage my house to afford it, although I’d sell my car an anything else I had to just to be able to get what I needed to feel comfortable in my own skin. Where do Tyra, Beyonce, and every other celebrity who wears hair, get theirs? I haven’t really pounded the pavement searching for a hair replacement service provider so perhaps I haven’t searched hard enough. Online providers are plenty, but I’d prefer meeting with a compassionate hair replacement provider in person when the time comes. If you haven’t already, you should read my Ebay wig purchasing experience.

Well there are my hairy thoughts. I wish everyone a great Friday night! Go out, stay in, do what you do and feel good about being you. You are beautiful. Judge Judy says “Beauty Fades Dumb Is Forever,” so I’m working on making myself smarter than the women with the shampoo commercial hair, in the end I’ll be the leader!!! Whoo Hooo! Gotta laugh right?

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Robin Flamish March 7, 2008 at 6:55 pm

Hey Y just read your post. I will address your desire to meet those people soon. That is exactly my goal. My site will be designed to expose those salon proffesionals who are in your area at a affordable price…. and with a quality product and or service. I am looking high and low ONLY for those who will open there hearts with true compassion and good intentions. The money from the sale of my bracelets will also help those individuals to afford a Hair piece or service that otherwise would not be obtainable. By the way….. Even my dog has begun to look at my hair funny, What up with that?

julie March 7, 2008 at 9:36 pm

I have been looking high and low for a salon that will meet our needs and that do not make you sign a contract, or shave off half your remaining hair. I want a hairpiece that looks and feels natural. On some of the info commercials one of the older ladies with the short brown curly hair claims her hair has come back with the product she’s been using. Funny that I saw her on another ad saying she brought into to her daughter’s hair replacement business because she was so impressed with her hairpiece. And then again I have seen her in another ad for a hair replacement business advertising their product. So investigate as much as you can before you commit. Some days I think I would like to quit my job and become a beautician so I can learn some of these techniques I have read about so I can help other people. Or maybe invest some money to send someone in the business to learn the skills so they will be able to provide services at a reasonable rate to people. My heart goes out to all of you. I appreciate this sight for the support and to share any information we learned along the way so others may benefit. Thank you all! God bless

julie March 7, 2008 at 9:58 pm

I mentioned before I have google alerts send me any information on female hair replacement. Following is one of the latest


Robin Flamish March 8, 2008 at 6:32 am

Hi Julie, You should follow your passion to go to school, you can help those who need guidance, and a professional who understands the pain and debilitating effects hair loss can bring into ones life. Its been said that some of the most successsful people are those that know first hand the tremendous power gained from personal experiences. Follow your passions…. the best gift you can give is what comes from your heart!

Vonnie March 10, 2008 at 7:58 am

Thanks Y, for this latest post. I really appreciate your website. The past year has been filled with sadness. One of my faily members has been in much emotional pain and has been crying buckets of tears due to very thin hair. It has bothered her for a long time, but the past several months her self-acceptance and self-image has plunged to an all-time low. I told her that I recently found your website and will be trying to find a solution for her. I am hoping to find information on options of “wearing hair”. She is not ready for a full wig but we definitely hope to find some good hair add-on or hairpiece. I hope those of you who have experience or information about what is good, what is not godd etc would contact me, either on this website or feel free to e-mail me at VGramav@aol.com I am praying to find the answers that will “give my loved one her life back”.
Sometimes I also watch American idol and I would never have guess that Paula is a hair wearer–she always looks fabulous.
It sounds like your project, Robin, is going to be something helpful for those of us who are searching.
Being on a website is a fairly neew experience for me, but I am learning, though I still feel really new at it. When I signed up to become a member on the network, my computer locked up and I was unable to complete the profile info that I was writing. Thanks for listening. Vonnie

Robin Flamish March 10, 2008 at 6:54 pm

Hi vonnie, I want to thank you for being a voice for a loved one who suffers from the tremendous heartache and depression that hair loss can bring. Like many others from this site, I too have had some very dark days… suicide thoughts and low self esteem. For many this is a all to familar, Unfortunately…like with many illnesses, others cant begin to feel the pain, sadness, and tremendous damage until it has effected them in some fashion, whether personally… or through a loved one. One of the worst things one can do…. is to down play someones pain, fear, or sadness. Some people can walk through a blizzard with only the coldness of there hands, limbs, or feet, while others have frost bite and suffer to great extremes. Thankfully there are people who understand and are there to pick us up no matter how wet the tears. God Bless you! and all the wonderful woman here and abroad. I applaud you all!!!! Love Robin By the way y I think you need a spell check button for people like me! SORRY

Robin Flamish March 11, 2008 at 5:56 pm

YYYYYYYYYY you make me crack up… after I read the post for the second time I busted out loud over the Ice cream cone. Seems there are alot of very hysterical people on this site…. Maybe we have all become stark raving MAD! Lets do the road show thing…. we might as well become a three ring circus and take our act on the road We can call it….. BALDING BOZOS! Watcha think? What flavor is your cone?

admin March 12, 2008 at 12:28 pm

Hey there Robin!

Well gotta keep the sense humor up right or what else is there? My cone would most definitely have to me mocha latte. Since I have light brown hair. The growing lack of pigment that seems to be accompanying my lost locks are making it even lighter. Yippie, I always want to be a blond! * rolling eyes *


Leave a Comment

Join the Women's Hair Loss Project Network to meet other women
with hair loss. Share your thoughts, comment, rant, rave, laugh, cry...communicate. Click To Join
Just Launched - Join the NEW Forum for The Women's Hair Loss Project. If you are already an existing member of the Network then you already have an account set up and will need to use the Reset Password link to enable your forum account. Click To Join

Previous post:

Next post: