Having Hair Loss Is Exhausting

by Y on March 15, 2009

I never really stop to think how much effort I put into trying NOT to think about my hair loss and how exhausting not thinking about my hair loss actually is.

I avoid mirrors, strong overhead restaurant lighting, I turn the bathroom lights off before going in (in my house). I’d do it in public to if I didn’t think I’d get tons of grumbles and nasty comments from the women already in there. Ha! Unless they had hair loss, then they’d give me a high five. Typically when I need light I use softer lights that are sort of dimmed.

Up in the morning, early 5:00am start to the day. I shower and I comb my hair quickly trying to get past the torture. Shower is always fun pulling the hair out of all sorts of odd places including my deriere. Oops stuck between my fingers, rinse it off, rinse it off or paste it on the bathroom wall. Always fun to look at after. Comb, scoop, comb, scoop, hair into the toilet. I pull my hair back in a ponytail or up in a clip to avoid feeling the hair fall all day. However, (as thin hair ladies know) the clip can hurt since it sits so close to the scalp with none of that pesky “hair padding,” it can become quite itchy and bothersome, so I loosen it up to make sure it’s perfect and set for the day. Oops now my hair looks flat on the left side. Do it again…oops now it’s flat on the right. Oh my gosh I look like a human ice cream cone, with no hair on the sides and a little on the top, the shape of my head has me looking like a Mister Softee. Do it again, darn it now my gaping center part is shining for all the world to see. Hummm I don’t remember it being that thin before. Maybe I should use the blow dryer some more. Blow to the left, blow it to the right. Apply clip strategy again, ah this “style” is okay. My simple clip style takes longer than it looks, same for the ponytail. This hair over that hair, brush here, brush there, trying to maximize every strand. Volumizing shampoo, volumizing conditioner, volumizing spray, volumizing mousse, plump this plump that. Poof it’s still flat. Part my hair one millimeter to the left of its normal part, nope, one millimeter to the right, yes that’s just perfect. Now I can begin my day. I glance at my watch, I wonder what activities are left to do on this Saturday at 10pm.

Happy Sunday Ladies!

–Here is a cute video I stumbled upon. It’s from the website Jewlarious. Which I believe is the humor section of the Jewish website Aish.

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Marie March 15, 2009 at 1:37 pm

The video: Oh my gosh! This was me every time I had to go out!!! I was late for everything and and usually had tear-streaked cheeks when I got there. However, since I now wear wigs, I don’t do that anymore. Now, I just put mousse in my “hair”, flick it with a hair pick and go! And with a smile!


Angela March 16, 2009 at 7:13 am

OMG! Hilarious! I loved the video.
Thanks for making me smile this morning!


admin March 16, 2009 at 8:09 am

Hi Marie and Angela!
@Marie – I was quite certain we could all look at this video and nod in agreement! 🙂 I’m so happy that you have moved forward and are able wear your wig with a smile and LIVE your life!

@Angela – I’m so glad I gave you a smile this morning! Was that not the funniest (and true) video. LOL! – I couldn’t stop laughing and I had to keep playing it over and over. That’s how I felt yesterday after I was trying to “work the hair” seemingly forever and it just kept flat. I have some choice curse words for my hair, but I’ll spare the readers. I felt like slumping to the floor and on top of me could be a giant pile of hair products, blow dryer and combs. All you would see from the pile would be my feet 🙂 It’s good to laugh at ourselves.



Patti March 16, 2009 at 10:26 am

I feel your pain, all I think about is my miserabe thinning hair, I play alot of sports and I spend a hour making sure when my little bit of hair is pulled in a pony tail that I have covered as much of the bald areas as possible. Can of hairspray later…still looks like crap and I curse the fact I cant wear a ball cap(my favorite accessory) to play soccer in. I’m thinking of consulting a hair replacement center but boy that looks painful…anyone had that done..suggestions to improve my self esteem which stinks due to my thin hair??


Sarah March 16, 2009 at 4:02 pm

My suggestions to help your self esteem is talk to any of us BALD chicks out here:) I truly say this kindly not meanly (I know its hard to tell via type).


just me March 22, 2009 at 9:06 pm

I wish the fashion was like it was back in the 1700’s …remember those big white wigs that they all had…..no one really wanted to show their REAL hair….and the Mona lisa had a shaven hair line to push back the forehead.
we need a fashion change….bald women or less hair ….maybe hairy women can be seen as bad….”there is just too much hair on your head”


Kirthi August 22, 2009 at 11:40 am

I laughed so hard when I read your post because I do everything you do and then some. I love the part about the shower because its the ickiest thing. I blessed with hair loss, naturally thin hair and an oily scalp. Bathrooms are the worst with muti-dimensional lighting. And why, why do they need that kind of bright lighting in stores. I’ll buy your product without it being lit up by three halogen spotlights.
My mom says we’re evolving towards a humanoid with no hair on account of people spending so much time indoors. I just want to know why I have to be at the forefront of this evolutionary change.


carmen March 26, 2011 at 3:22 pm

I laughed too..a bittersweet one..so frustrating to style my hair for an hour, then look at it, sigh and put a hat on. I suppose to everyone else it probably looks fine, I just keep comparing to the way it was…thicker, livelier, shinier, no see thru spot in the front. Oh well, like some say: enjoy your life because you still have hair! And I do, have more than some, now if I could just stop obsessing, I could enjoy life. I stay in often because of my hair. Funny enough, I used to wish I had less because it took so long to style and was too thick I thought for my small face. Be careful what you wish for..silly wish really. who would have thunk??


Estefania December 20, 2011 at 5:57 pm

Wow! I can relate to every detail mentioned.. 🙁 I’m having such a hard time with this. I’ve always had fine hair and yes, had the chola hair do going on back in the 90’s and ALWAYS wore hairspray.Dyed my hair all the time. But in 2005 I got my first perm and had it done twice because it didn’t ‘work’ out the first time. Boy, I wish I never did that.. For whatever reason tho, I can’t do anything nice with my hair now besides a little matted up ponytail-bush thing.. smh.. It’s painful. Never could consider wearing it down cause its so stringy.I’m 31 with 3 kids, a college student and I feel like I’m 85. I’m bitter, can’t enjoy anything anymore and can’t get motivated whatsoever. Reading your stories is helping but I’m so lost right now. I have no one close to confide in without getting ridiculed or just get the pity look. I’m tired of hiding from the sun I so much need.. How do I deal with this folx??


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