womens hair loss

I sat down with the intention of answering one of the questions I received through my survey I sent out to the mailing list about a couple weeks ago, but I realized there is so much back story to my story that it veered so off topic I felt I should maybe make it a little mini series, a collection of blog posts of my life with hair loss. I’m still flirting with this notion, so I’m starting with Part One, and you let me know below if this is something you’re interested in.

While I’m fairly sure this can be located here and there on this blog, it’s not in one straight forward series of before the fall (prior to 1999) to dealing in the isolation, devastation and confusion that came after, and living with hair loss… to starting The Women’s Hair Loss Project in 2007, to starting to wear wigs 2012, to present day. I’m getting Grant chart vibes from that. Visualize Grant chart. Or I could make one. Maybe not Grant, it’s more of a timeline chart, but I digress.

My hair loss began in 1999, and I didn’t start wearing hair until 2012. I bottomed out, meaning…I thought life was over in 2007… which is the year I started The Women’s Hair Loss Project. I cite that as an at-a-glance reference point to anything I say onwards in this post.

Wigged Reflections
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Post image for Women’s Hair Loss Event Update !

Women’s Hair Loss Event Update !

by Y on October 12, 2017

On Sunday October 8th, I co-hosted a women’s hair loss event with Sophie Hafner. Neither of us knew what to expect, we just knew we had a date, a venue, wine, cheese & hair 🙂 We also didn’t know if it would just be me and her eating the cheese and playing with the hair lol.

I also got my new Follea “Chic” wig on Sunday and it’s amazing.  It’s seen in the pics below and also on my Facebook page.  I’ll definitely be making a post about it soon.  It started as a color 6020 and Sophie did her color magic to make this beauty personalized to perfection for me.

Onwards to about the event!

Tick tock, the clock was nearing the hour, and the glasses where being set up, the wine was being opened, and it felt….exciting.  Though in reality, I knew not of who was coming, or if anyone was coming quite frankly– we did have RSVP’s, but you never know if anyone is going to show. Women did show, and it was beautiful. It was the next level of connection needed, and a long time coming. [click to continue…]


I reflect back on my hair loss journey, and if you asked the 21 year old scared girl beginning to loose her hair in 1999, if she could ever imagine life with and after hair loss, she (me) would have said, “NO” and then cried uncontrollably… as I always used to do… daily. Impossible to process, and yet here I am. I’ll be 38 years old in 2 months and this affliction stole over a decade of my life. I am not making use of hyperbole when I say that. My 20’s came and went, and all I had were memories of devastation and a complete feeling of being helpless, powerless and destined to exist in a state of forever suffering. Paralyzing.

I’ve written a tremendous amount on my blog about my hair loss, finding my acceptance… removing the shackles of hair loss and taking back my life.  This change came for me in 2012 when I started wearing hair and realizing, that while not perfect in the respect that it’s not growing out of my head… it was perfect enough. I could go out and portray myself to the world, as I wanted to be seen (the way I looked before my  hair loss) and feel good about myself again. It was a process, it took time. I cut my hair super short (buzzed in back, long in front) so I didn’t have to see my hair fall out anymore and I could have a cute edgy hair cut that I could wear, one where people would think I just was just so bold to wear a style like that, not knowing I do it out absolute necessity. Since my hair loss began when I was so young I never really got the opportunity to do anything fun with my hair… cuts, colors and styles etc., was not an option. I was just praying it stopped falling out. [click to continue…]


Learning To Let Go

by Y on February 24, 2013

I didn’t choose hair loss, it chose me.

I battled for years. I felt I had lost, I felt withdrawn and depressed and a feeling of absolutely no hope. I suffered tremendously as I saw myself fade away and was confronted with a reflection of a person I no longer knew. Not just in the change of appearance as a result from hair loss, but rather just in the change in me.

I finally let go.

I let go of hoping my former self would come back, that all my hair would return, but rather accepted what was and is and took steps to do what I could to help myself.

I wear a wig.

That lone sentence by itself almost seems like it’s a part of my lost battle, but rather it was the winning move and it is what enabled me to move forward and move past the former years of depression and self loathing. It is a sentence of victory. In those 4 words, you may not see it, but it’s acceptance and an understanding that life is ever changing. WE are always changing, and what was 2 seconds ago is already the past. [click to continue…]


Okay so I should start this off with an apology for not writing this post sooner, the days slipped away and I looked at the calendar and said “Leaping Lizards!” I never wrote the post about the women’s hair loss article that appeared in this month’s issue of the Canadian magazine, “Today’s Parent.” If you follow me on Twitter, Facebook or YouTube then this is old news for you because I did post a video about it on August 29th to those social media outlets, but I just never got around to writing the actual post for it.  My wig must be squeezing my brain too tight because I just totally vegged on it, blame Anya.


As we are all know women’s hair loss is such a closeted issue that whenever there is some media attention bringing more awareness towards it I leap up and down like a giddy little girl… I also do the same little chair leap when cake or wine appears before me, eagerly clapping my hands together 🙂

This month Today’s Parent published an article written by a really awesome writer, Marci O’Connor, titled “Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow.” In the article Marci shares her own story dealing with hair loss and writes about the causes, treatments, and available options that women have today, like wearing wigs. It’s rare that I read a hair loss article, “done right” and Miss Fabulous O’Connor, definitely got it right! [click to continue…]


I love my wig, I think we’ve established that. But, now comes the rainbow of wonder. I wonder if… you know that rainbow.

As anyone who reads this blog knows I have always pointed towards wearing bonded hair as my personal end-all-be-all solution towards moving past this wretched hair loss nightmare. Many women are able to boldly make that leap, arms wide open and flinging themselves into the air only to find they have wings, and they fly with brave beauty and grace onto the other side and into bluer horizons. Others, like myself, stare off the cliff and look for the ladder, the rope, the bridge.. anything else. So I got a rope, no shame in that and am inching my way towards emotional freedom.

Wearing a wig is a process. Period. You have super highs and you have those “sometime” moments at the end of the day after wearing it for 10+ hours when you are thinking, “Get this off my head STAT.” Moments of realization that this hair beauty has to come off at the end of the night, and you are bummed that this hair isn’t more “part of you.” Then come the soaring highs, the ability to leave the house WITH hair, not just any hair but amazing hair. The ability to “do” my hair in 2 minutes flat, no longer a slave to furiously trying to battle with the blow dryer to make my crappy hair looks less crappy. I have peace of mind. [click to continue…]


Twitter, Boobs, Wigs and Weight Gain

by Y on June 24, 2012

So after much hemming and hawing I decided in a very non decisive way to start a Twitter account for The Women’s Hair Loss Project. While I never started one before for various reasons, recently I have found myself out and about having funny and/ or interesting ( I think ) thoughts that would be great to share on a platform like Twitter. I also often run across interesting articles related to hair loss that I don’t have time to blog about, but would make for a perfect quick “tweet.”  I’m a private person, like an uber private person, so that has always kept me away from social networks, that, along with the thought of wondering how many women dealing with hair loss would want to “follow” a hair loss twitter page. I have no idea, and I understand completely if no one does. I did try and make the page as nondescript as possible making sure not to include anything “hair loss” in the name, website, icon or background. It is possible that the WHLP could be broadened by Twitter and perhaps more women needing help and support could find us. This is really more of a Twitter test run, because who knows, I could delete it next week, so don’t be surprised if go to the link one day and it says, “Page Not Found.” Here it is, with my lonely first tweet LOL: https://twitter.com/whlpnetwork

Now on to the fun stuff… boobs and wigs. Now how the heck did I tie these together? I’ve recently been thinking about why there is such a stigma associated with wigs, or any hair that is worn that isn’t the universally accepted, “extensions.” Women can proudly can get breast implants and even be commended for doing something for themselves, but talk about wearing hair out of necessity and you get looked at like you have 3 heads. “Why ever would you want to WEAR a WIG?” hummmm…. thinking of a reply, ” Oh it’s just something I’ve always dreamed about, ever since I was a little girl. I had hoped and prayed my hair would just started falling out when I was 21 and then I knew that perfect moment would come at 34 years of age when I would have so little hair I HAD to wear a wig.” How’s that for an answer? [click to continue…]


As women dealing with hair loss we often want to conceal the fact that we are enduring a struggle that we feel no woman should have to be faced with. It’s a secret, and for many of us, it’s a very dark one. It’s not easy to come out to friends or family, for fear of not being understood or sheer embarrassment. Which is why I was so proud to hear that Lisa, a longtime member of the Women’s Hair Loss Project, was coming out of the shadows and sharing her story in a big way – front page of the CNN Health section. How’s that for an audience?

The story is titled, “An agonizing secret: One woman’s story of loss.” It is an honest, and heartfelt inside look into the struggles of being a woman with this condition. Knowing Lisa, makes this story and reveal all the more emotional and amazing. Despite having understandable hesitation and reservations about “coming out,” she persevered. Being a woman who has essentially lived in hiding with this condition, only using an initial as my identity on this site , I’m in awe of what Lisa has done. Sharing her story brings awareness to women’s hair loss, and it lets other women know that they aren’t alone in this. We don’t have to be silent, we don’t have to keep it to ourselves. Sharing is healing – I believe that.

Lisa joined the WHLP in June 2008, and quickly became a beloved member of the community and a close confidant of mine. While struggling through the sadness, we often found laughter in making light of some of the idiosyncrasies of dealing hair loss, we shared more than our hair loss, we shared our lives – as many women do in the network.

I encourage everyone to visit CNN Health and read Lisa’s story. We often live in the shadows with hair loss, and it is a proud moment for us all when a woman steps forward and represents us all – our feelings and our struggles.

To Lisa: Celebrate today, and never second guess the amazing thing you have done. Be proud and feel strong. If you cry, make them happy tears! I’m crying happy tears for you. Your path is one I hope to take one day – accepting myself entirely as being a woman with hair loss and willing to stand tall and share that with the world. For now, I’m still that lonely initial, “Y.”  🙂 Much love to you girl!

I’ll be interviewing Lisa later this week about her decision to come forward with her hair loss story.


Bonnie has been a member of The Women’s Hair Loss Project since Nov. 2008. Yesterday she wrote the most incredible blog in the network, declaring victory in her war with hair loss. Myself and so many others are beyond thrilled over her recent news. So with her permission, I am posting it here for everyone to read.

Here is the post:

I’ve been thinking about writing this blog for a long time, hoping that my success with regrowth would continue and that I would have great news to share. It’s weird but I guess I was sort of waiting it out to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating or waiting for the other shoe to drop… the universe saying HAHA! and my hair to start falling out again, but I think I can now say that I feel like I’m in the clear. I think I have finally won this war. Wow.

It’s been such a challenging year and half with all of this and I still cant imagine how uncluttered my brain must have been before all of this happened. It has been such a life-changing thing that it’s VERY hard to get past it. I know all of you understand this.

Slowly, slowly, since I shaved my head on 6/1, things have been improving. My shedding stopped a couple of weeks after the buzz (I stopped Spiro the same day) and it began filling in little by little. I really had some particularly thin spots and used A LOT of Toppik for a while, but I slowly stopped using that, quit the Xanax (I do not know how I would have gotten through 2009 without Xanax!), kept going with my supplements (fish oil, flax oil, vitamins and iron) and tried to exercise real patience and it has actually worked. My thin spots have slowly filled in and they KEEP filling in and I dare say that I think my hair is back to normal. Sigh and a big deep breath! For the first time in a very long time, I can now actually say that my hair looks good. it has taken me a LONG time to be able to say that and mean it.

I am still a product junkie (maybe now more than ever) and I still take detours by every mirror to check my hair out a zillion times a day. I think I will probably always.

I’m ready for a cleansing ritual for getting past this. Today I am going to go back to the wig salon and ask them about donating the beautiful wig that I bought there (and never actually wore) and maybe even the Gremlin wig too if they’ll take it. Yeah, the pictures of that are scary but KatKat did a perfectly AMAZING job of taming that beast. I’m going to see if I can donate the wig(s) to another woman that is suffering with hair loss and can’t afford to get something that will make her feel more comfortable.

I just wanted to update all of you. I have found such amazing support here and I truly cannot imagine how I would have gotten through this battle without WHLP. it has literally been a lifesaver for me.

I wish all of us more hair than we know what to do with (only on our heads). MUAH!


Humiliated By Hair Loss

by Y on April 30, 2009

I went to an allergist today because I have really been having a lot of skin issues, itchiness, eczema,  a lot of contact dermatitis around my mouth, itchy eyelids, itchy eyes and of course my usual asthma. I am always apprehensive about going to a new doctor because the patient form you have to fill out always has that place that asks you to list the “current medications” you take, and putting “Aldactone” on there always triggers the question, “You take Aldactone? What for?” So I get nervous going to new doctors.

Off I go to the consultation, the doc doesn’t even ask anything about the Aldactone, moving full speed ahead, talking about my allergies.. blah blah blah. Then he gets to the part where he wants to suggest the asthma/allergy medication, SINGULAR. Well I already know from previous searches on that medication, from previous docs trying to get me to take it, that some women complain that it causes hair loss! I had resolved myself into taking Advair ( https://www.womenshairlossproject.com/hair-loss/advair-muppets-poor-health-decisions/ ) because I had previously taken that without any issue to my hair, but this? The unknown?

I had to bring up my concern with the doctor. I HAD to let him KNOW, what was going through my head. So out with it, I told him that I suffer with hair loss, hence the reason I taken the Aldactone, and that I had read on the Internet that it can cause hair loss. He seemed to not focus too much on my personal hair loss situation, which, was good, but then he sort of made light of it, in a quasi mocking way “Well if it’s on the Internet, then it has to be true.” He said he never heard of an instance of singular and hair loss. Well neither did my gynecologist that gave me one of the highest androgen pills on the market, that started this whole mess. He proceeded to pull out the insert of the singular medication and looked in the side effect area, and pointed out that “hair loss” isn’t listed there. Hummm, that doesn’t mean it can’t happen or hasn’t happened to people. I don’t think most doctors know how to react to a woman with hair loss, in all fairness he was a decent doctor, he spent a lot of time with me and genuinely seemed interested in helping me treat my allergies/asthma. This is just a separate and unfortunate issue.

But, back to the point, the title of this post. When I had to bring up that “I HAVE HAIR LOSS,” I felt so small, so humiliated, like I was running around the office with my shirt off or something, actually I probably would have preferred that over telling him I had hair loss. I was so down when I left the office, so defeated. I didn’t feel liberated or empowered for sharing that tid bit of information, I felt ashamed. It saddens me to think that no matter how far I feel I’ve traveled, I am reminded that it isn’t quite far enough. I know I should not be ashamed of my hair loss, yet I had those feelings anyways. I guess it’s time for a little self-reflection.