womens hair loss

This wonderfully clever and cute post was written by a WHLP network member, Franny. She’s given me permission to repost it here to share it with all of you gals!

This is in response to a recent blog which referred to telling her husband about getting her hair system which got me thinking….always dangerous.

My response was too long to post in the blog’s comments section so here it goes:

Don’t forget that with the majority of men you need to spell things out in simple, quick , unambiguous chunks that require no effort on their part to understand and little or no discussion.

I’ve thought about a handy 5 point plan for other women wanting to have a similar conversation with their husbands / partners….
Once you have decided on the hair system you want the conversation could probably go like this and take around 30 seconds to around 5 minutes (isn’t that usually the case with men??? LOL)

1: I need to get hair

2: This is the kind of hair I am getting and this is how it works (eg wig / topper, maintenance, etc – keep details to a minimum)

3: Getting hair will make me feel:
a. better about myself
b. happier & more self confident
 c. *sexier*

4: Cost (this is only an issue if he will be paying for it or the cost will be out of your joint agreed household budget / savings that you contribute to. If you are paying for it – it’s your money and you can spend it however you darn well please. )

5: Any questions?

If he has any question pertaining to cost, remind him of point 3c and infer that he could be ‘getting some’ if Points 1, 3a & 3b are achieved.

If he has questions about the system you’ll be getting – hit him with the technicals – use numbers and car sounding words like ‘110% density high performance mono top’, ‘oil based solvent’ and ‘ high tensile clips’ – avoid telling him things that may make his eyes glaze over like ‘how easy it is to style’ , ‘Cute cut’ and ‘natural parting’.

Be positive and assertive, keep referring to point 3c as required and you’re sorted! Hair system on its way stress free! [click to continue…]

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I received this wonderful post from Lina a couple days ago and she has given me permission to share it with all of you!

Here is Lina’s Story:

This is new to me but I have been inspired lately by our group of wonderful women to share.

I am 43 years old and have been dealing with hair loss since I was 18 – yep – 25 long years! I have been through the gammut of emotions that I read from others: sobbing, depression, begging, praying, anxiety. I have gone through the habits: showering and brushing my hair in the dark, wiping hair out of places that I won’t mention, counting all the hairs I’ve lost, sitting on the vanity and inspecting my scalp for hair growth, I don’t notice people – I just stare at their heads!

What has all of this gotten me? I watched my 20’s and 30’s go down the drain with my hair. I’ve loathed myself for what seems like forever. I’ve spent thousands of dollars on products that, big surprise, didn’t do a thing but make me poorer. I bought a topper two years ago and wore it twice – I hated it and it was cut wrong, so, I bought another and I have had it since Christmas. I also have a wig in my closet, just “in case”.  So after needing to be in a place where people understand – I’ve been back on this site for a few weeks now and have become so inspired by our “Rock Star Leader” that guess what? I pulled out that second topper and have been wearing it now for 3 days in a row! I’m not going to lie, it’s different. Can you explain to me how all I wanted for 25 years is more hair and now when I look in the mirror and see myself with more hair – it’s “weird”. I know! [click to continue…]

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If you’ve followed my blog, you’ll know I went on a wig shopping spree determined to find something. I was let down a bit when I realized that the wigs didn’t stay on for me without clips or combs and much like topper clips, they hurt, only worse because the wig is heavier. I was defeated. Seriously defeated. It felt like the option of wearing a wig securely and comfortably was going to be out of the question for me. Hair loss was leaving me out in the cold, yet again. It was one heck of a depressing week before I had discovered that there are companies that sell headband grips that keep the wig in place. The company that makes the one I use (WiGrip) is made by Milano Wigs, they have a showroom in Los Angeles and I went their one day to check the grips and the wigs out. I tried the amazing headband and found hope again. I also ended up buying two wigs from them when I was there. I just still didn’t feel completely confident though, The Freeda wig and the Milano wigs are good, they really are good quality wigs.. but they weren’t me. I was beginning to get a little discouraged about this process and decided I would make an appointment (which I later cancelled)  to go to see Flora (as in Designs by Flora) in New Jersey, I was hopeful the maybe I could find something better there. At the same time I was on my search for my wig, my WHLP friend, Bonnie was on her search for her hair too. Through our email messages she had shared with me that it might be worth it to check out Follea hair if I could find a place that carries it. Honestly, I’d never really heard of them or their wigs. Bonnie’s clear excitement about the hair, got me excited to want to maybe check them out myself. I googled the company and found they are located a hop, skip and jump away from me in Beverly Hills… and there is where life began.

Finding Follea

Follea hair, oh let me count they ways I love thee. Soft, silky, european sexy hair. I find myself sitting watching TV in the evenings with my wig on my lap, and I just sit and stroke the hair, it’s somehow soothing to me, I don’t know… call me a freak 🙂 It reminds me of the feel of my own hair before I began to loose it. The way it moves, falls, blows in the wind, pure yumminess. It’s been two months since I’ve purchased my wig from them and while wearing a wig IS a process and a journey all by itself, I have finally found some peace in knowing I can walk out into the world with my head held high, I can look into the mirror of any well lit bathroom with a smile and I can rest my wigless head at night knowing, that the best of life is yet to come.

These past two months have been eye opening for me, a strong realization about the fact that wearing a wig really isn’t bad at all, it does have to be the right wig for you or I think you’ll be fighting with the wig and it will just add to the frustration of the whole process. I am incredibly enthusiastic about wanting to help women take this step when the time is right for them, sooner rather than later and not waiting and suffering like I did. I think we really know when the time is right for us. It’s the moment you feel you can no longer face the world, that your couch begins to get a nice deep dent in it from you sitting there at home rather than going out and enjoying life with your family and friends. When your hair takes away the joy from your life, you can take it back. Wigs are a great option and I think there is a cloud over them because they somehow have a bad stigma, bad wigs gave way to that. A good wig can be your best ally in your hair loss struggle, you can still treat your hair loss how ever you choose to, and wear a wig to go out with confidence into the world. I can definitely say I wish I made this choice sooner. [click to continue…]

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A few weeks ago I put up a few photos of my new wig and then a short while after that I took them down for various reasons, one of which a family member had emailed me a link to my own site (this one) discussing an article I had written years ago and that “I” should check it out. I felt panicked that with the photos of myself on the site that this person would for sure, instantly, make the connection and realize this was my site, so I quickly pulled the pictures down offline. A lot of women where emailing me because they wanted to see the photos that everyone was referring to so I then put together a private gallery and emailed the link out to several women. Well, I’ve since come clean to the family member who I was concerned about and I want to share some more photos and video with everyone so that women can get a better idea of how the wig sits on my head and also those photos that where once in the private gallery are included in the video as well. So my apologies to those who have already seen them, that part will be a repeat for you. [click to continue…]

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I love my wig, I think we’ve established that. But, now comes the rainbow of wonder. I wonder if… you know that rainbow.

As anyone who reads this blog knows I have always pointed towards wearing bonded hair as my personal end-all-be-all solution towards moving past this wretched hair loss nightmare. Many women are able to boldly make that leap, arms wide open and flinging themselves into the air only to find they have wings, and they fly with brave beauty and grace onto the other side and into bluer horizons. Others, like myself, stare off the cliff and look for the ladder, the rope, the bridge.. anything else. So I got a rope, no shame in that and am inching my way towards emotional freedom.

Wearing a wig is a process. Period. You have super highs and you have those “sometime” moments at the end of the day after wearing it for 10+ hours when you are thinking, “Get this off my head STAT.” Moments of realization that this hair beauty has to come off at the end of the night, and you are bummed that this hair isn’t more “part of you.” Then come the soaring highs, the ability to leave the house WITH hair, not just any hair but amazing hair. The ability to “do” my hair in 2 minutes flat, no longer a slave to furiously trying to battle with the blow dryer to make my crappy hair looks less crappy. I have peace of mind. [click to continue…]

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Twitter, Boobs, Wigs and Weight Gain

by Y on June 24, 2012

So after much hemming and hawing I decided in a very non decisive way to start a Twitter account for The Women’s Hair Loss Project. While I never started one before for various reasons, recently I have found myself out and about having funny and/ or interesting ( I think ) thoughts that would be great to share on a platform like Twitter. I also often run across interesting articles related to hair loss that I don’t have time to blog about, but would make for a perfect quick “tweet.”  I’m a private person, like an uber private person, so that has always kept me away from social networks, that, along with the thought of wondering how many women dealing with hair loss would want to “follow” a hair loss twitter page. I have no idea, and I understand completely if no one does. I did try and make the page as nondescript as possible making sure not to include anything “hair loss” in the name, website, icon or background. It is possible that the WHLP could be broadened by Twitter and perhaps more women needing help and support could find us. This is really more of a Twitter test run, because who knows, I could delete it next week, so don’t be surprised if go to the link one day and it says, “Page Not Found.” Here it is, with my lonely first tweet LOL: https://twitter.com/whlpnetwork

Now on to the fun stuff… boobs and wigs. Now how the heck did I tie these together? I’ve recently been thinking about why there is such a stigma associated with wigs, or any hair that is worn that isn’t the universally accepted, “extensions.” Women can proudly can get breast implants and even be commended for doing something for themselves, but talk about wearing hair out of necessity and you get looked at like you have 3 heads. “Why ever would you want to WEAR a WIG?” hummmm…. thinking of a reply, ” Oh it’s just something I’ve always dreamed about, ever since I was a little girl. I had hoped and prayed my hair would just started falling out when I was 21 and then I knew that perfect moment would come at 34 years of age when I would have so little hair I HAD to wear a wig.” How’s that for an answer? [click to continue…]

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This past week has been a busy busy wig week. Last Sunday I went to Milano Wigs in Los Angeles to buy the WiGrip. The WiGrip is this handy dandy little strap that ties around your head like a comfy headband and keeps a wig in place without the need for clips or a comb. Amen! I kid you not, this little invention is amazing. I’ve seen several other similar grips online, they all look the same and probably function exactly the same as well.

Whilst at Milano Wigs I was taken in by the massive amount of wig supply they had there, a showroom filled with a ton of wigs that you can just try on by yourself. At first I felt awkward, out of place and a bit timid, but pretty soon I was flinging those bad girls on my head left and right. I think the plastic wig head fumes got to me and I ended up purchasing 2 wigs, that quite frankly are likely not going to see a lot of wear time. The wigs are quality wigs, don’t get me wrong, but the color isn’t exactly right for me and they don’t look as good on me as my Freeda Wig (Rina), or my new Follea Wig… but more on that later.

I think what is pretty fantastic about Milano wigs is their partline, sharp and distinct, they look amazingly real. Also it doesn’t have that knotted tight hairline problem which I experienced with Rina. It lays quite flat and looks very real. I also found out that this shop does coloring, cutting and repair on any wig, not just wigs purchased from them, so I ended up taking Rina in to try and have the hairline knotty bundle smoothed out and perhaps be made to look more natural. I get her back next week, so we’ll see how that goes. I am thinking I might also have Rina colored to better match my hair color and also have some long side swept bangs put in.

I’ve been on a wig rampage, determined to find that perfect, ah hem.. “hair enhancement” aka wig. I was quite interested in seeing two particular brand of wigs because of their reputation for quality and awesomeness, Follea and Flora Wigs. Flora is located in NJ and also in NY and since I’ll be in that area soon I thought I would take the opportunity to set up an appointment with Flora which I did do, but ultimately ended up canceling it this past week because I bought a Follea wig and there really isn’t room in my budget for two wigs in this type of price bracket, but I’m still very interested in checking out Flora’s wigs at some point. I’m curious how it compares with Follea and what the pluses are to each of them. [click to continue…]

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This is so emotional that I am crying as I type this out. I don’t know any better way to sort through my feelings than just writing it all down.

Hummm.. where do I start? Well, I recently turned 34 and after living with androgenetic alopecia for 13 years, I decided to look into the mirror and say to myself, “When? If not now, when?” That question I posed to myself was in relation to asking myself how many more years of my life will I spend not being able to be who I really want to be, portray myself how I want to portray myself and to just feel comfortable in my own skin. How many more years will I play musical chairs at the dinner table to avoid the brightest overhead lightening or run past my reflection wherever it may appear? How many more years will I shutter at the sight of myself in a public bathroom mirror or think how much better I would look WITH more hair?  More hair, the old hair, the old me… so far gone it’s hard to remember that person, it’s hard to remember what it is like to really have hair. How many more years will I sacrifice to “just getting by?” I have lost way more than 3/4 of the hair I started with and I have been just working with what I have, albeit still being able to pull off a thin hair gal look most of the time. I think most people probably just think I have thin hair naturally, or at least I hope that is the image I give off.

I’ve just grown to accept the thin sorry wisps of hair that crown my head, all while the hairs continue to say adios to me throughout the day, falling here, there and everywhere.  What am I afraid of? What do I have to loose to just move forward and make the leap into wearing hair? Ultimately, for me, the holy grail has always been to wear bonded hair, which I would remove weekly for cleanup and reattachment. But, I’m way too much of a scaredy cat to just make that happen immediately, so I decided to get my feet wet first by trying to work with some human hair wigs. Wigs, oh my god! The whole thing is so confusing, this cap, that cap, lace, no lace, glueless lace, mono, multi-directional, clips, combs, velcro… time for some wine. [click to continue…]

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Working Out In a Bonded Lace Topper

by MalloryT on January 27, 2012

One of the questions I see the most on the forums is the issue of working out in a bonded lace system. I was planning to do a series of tests to put my system through the straits since getting it in July but life and my recruiting obligations got in the way. However, I have my full time post-grad job lined up and have been putting some serious work into working out since December 22nd. I’m planning to write a series of posts about taking my lace system through different workouts for informational purposes.

First System: Reprieve Integration. The Reprieve Integration sits on top of your own bio hair-there are tabs around the edge of the system through which your bio hair is looped to “tie” the system to the top of your head. This can only be done by a trained technician on the system. I don’t know what the base material is…it almost felt like a hard plastic-y mesh of sorts? I used to work out in this system last year and had a lot of trouble because it gets SO HOT that I could not bear to work out for more than 30 to 35 minutes. I think I hit 45 minutes max. Sweat head also affected me in close spaces…I really think it’s having all the bio hair underneath it. The plus side is that I was never concerned about the system coming off-it is “taped” but the tape doesn’t sit against your sweating scalp, they hold together the looped hair that binds the system to your head.

Lace Systems: I wear a silk top with all lace, no poly. The silk top panel is 4 x 4. I sweat through the lace except at the point of the silk top panel. I have not had any issue of the system being too hot on my head in any situation and I only start to “notice” it on my head if I go 11/12+ days without re-bonding.

I re-bonded my lace system last Thursday. Here are the workouts I’ve done to date (I’ve worked out every day). [click to continue…]

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Oh Baby… A Hair Wearing Adventure

by Cara on October 28, 2011

Most of you know me as “KatKat” or even the “resident topper expert” as I frequently give advice on toppers and how to wear them. I developed diffuse alopecia and chronic telogen effluvim four years ago and started wearing hair in my previous career as a pharmaceutical representative where I was judged by my appearance on a regular basis. I have worn hair through dating adventures and then under a veil on my wedding day. My topper and I have been through airports and dental surgeries, in wind storms and downpours, and on a cruise. But of all of the adventures I have ever had in my “hair,” none could prepare me for the events of my life this year.

On March 7, 2011, I gave birth to my wonderful son. After nine long months, I was so excited to meet my baby! Yes, my hair grew fuller while I was pregnant. However, what grew was just more bad, miniaturized hair — not “usable” hair. I discovered that I was so comfortable in supplemental hair that I would rather continue to wear it than resort to trying to fix my old, flyaway hair. I won’t lie, it was nice to see more hair when I took my topper off each night but that was the extent of celebrating seeing my hair come back.

Throughout my pregnancy I wondered about the day my son would be born. Would I have my topper secure enough? Should I just tell my nurses about my hair since we would be up close and personal? Would I have time to wash it when I went into labor? Should I wear a headband or a ponytail? So many scenarios played through my head. Deep down I longed not to care about any of it; but I did. [click to continue…]

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