In Tears – Regretting Some Past Decisions on My Hair Loss

by admin on September 4, 2007

As I write this I can barely see the screen becaue I am flooded with saddness. I rarely surf the internet anymore for help with women’s hair loss because I found that whatever I would find would only made me feel worse about myself, since I always ended up in the same place I started, only more confused. I don’t know what possessed me today to start poking around some old forums I used to visit frequently… I wish I hadn’t. I remember why I stopped going. I found a story of a woman who made the decision to stop taking her birth control pills and just ride out whatever shedding would ensue, and she said after two years her hair came back. (If you are confused about what I’m talking about read my hair loss story here) I always regretted getting back on the pill as part of my hair loss treatment, I always wondered if I left everything alone 8 years ago I would be back to normal today. I am so trapped, I can’t make that decision because I don’t have enough hair to withstand the enormous shedding that could happen from stopping taking a pill, I’m already shedding so much. I’ve been taking the pill forever, I’m certain my body as forgotten how to actually produce my own hormones since I’m been taking synthetic for so long. I made the decisions I thought were the best for me at the time, I regret alot. I guess if I could go back in time I would leave everything alone and see if my body would just recover on it’s own. Maybe it wouldn’t maybe I would be where I am today 5 years ago, I guess I’ll never know and that is what tortures me. I haven’t even had kids, how can I have kids being on the pill… obviously I can’t, I would have to get off them. How can I do that knowing what could possibly happen. All this eats away at me and I think about constantly, I try to push the thoughts behind me but all at once I’m flooded all over again.

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

julie September 12, 2007 at 12:26 pm

It’s important for you to leave the things you read behind and focus on yourself first. At 17, when I lost my hair, I was devastated. It ruined my future. When I was in college studying broadcast journalism, a counselor told me I’d never get a job with my hair loss…it was my senior year and too late for me to turn back to get another degree. Over the years, I’ve just worn wigs and hairpieces (reprieve hair is my favorite) I mentioned to other women that finding things you are grateful for having is more important. Hair is hair, at some point you have to just accept the things you cannot change. I would recommend staying away from treatments that other people took…i did that and lost more hair. Everyone’s situation is different and trying to find the answers leaves you more and more confused/upset/angry/depressed/lonely/hurt. Coping may be difficult, but the remedies in wigs and hair pieces, although temporary, still restore your confidence. Nothing ventured, nothing gained…:)

admin September 12, 2007 at 1:25 pm

Hi again Julie –

Your comments have been very insightful and helpful, not just for me but for all the other women who read this blog. So thank you.

I am curious how did you respond to the counselor that told you that you’d never get a job with hair loss? I’m not sure if I would burst into tears or if I would be so angry I’d start cursing at the person.

When did you make the decsion to start wearing wigs and hair pieces? Are you completely use to it now?

Reading your comment when you said ” at some point you have to just accept the things you cannot change” I was remided of the serenity prayer I often try and keep in mind:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Very true, very true. You are incredibly brave. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

julie September 12, 2007 at 2:30 pm

Wiping tears…

To begin answering your question, I have to say that as a spiritual person, I accepted her statements and thanked her for her honesty. Sometimes people need a reality check and she was right, its a vicious world the media business and i’m a better person to not be a part of it anyway! You cannot curse or become violent, rather take the information and decide what YOU think is right…that’s what I did. I did cry, of course I was more upset that I was told later in my college education. Life is about rolling with the punches, you can’t win them all…You just have to be at peace…I don’t hate, get angry or violent, I just think people that do that have no appreciation for who they really are…they try to be intimidating because they really are powerless deep down.

I started wearing wigs when my sister, a recovering cancer patient, lost her hair and encouraged me to start. I was a bit uncomfortable at first, but when they had some clips sown in, I felt secure with it…then I just developed a sense of humor about it..if people would stare, I would tell them about the fascinating wig wearing world! I was always a tomboy, stylistically challenged! I have more fun with wig hair now than I did with a full head of hair! There are certain limitations sure, but I don’t realistically go swimming every single day…If I did, I’ll buy a swim cap!
But with excuses, come limitations…well, I can’t do updo’s? Did you really wear your hair up every day? Compromise…we get used to it! I spent $30 on a wig, basic and pretty darn visible but I like that people know i wear it because they get so jealous of the chiseled hair cut, shine and volume! :) Some are not so visible but feel free to ask me questions about wigs! I work for hair manufacturer! Ironic isn’t it?

The bravery comes from within, accepting the things you cannot change, but also implanting positive thoughts…sometimes, you are what you think you are, you become what you think you can become. Embellish the other fascinating parts about you! I started paying more attention to my weight (dropped from 14 to a 4) and wearing make-up! I didn’t know how to before but I practice daily. At 17, I didn’t know what to do with myself…when I finished college, I didn’t know what to do…It took until about 3 years ago to muster up the courage to wear pieces. It took telling myself that I wasn’t going to allow hair to define my beauty or femininity. A trip to the wig shop didn’t hurt…my pocket wasn’t hurt either! As for updo’s by the way, with a few cute barrettes and pins, you can create some pretty cool styles. Take care! :) Thanks for your kind words as well!

Terri October 21, 2008 at 2:43 pm

Hi there,

I just wanted you to know that your story inspired me to do what my heart told me was the right thing to do, ditch the birth control pills and take my chances on getting my body and hopefully, my hair, back to normal.

Thanks so much for saying that you wondered where you’d be now if you had done that 8 years ago. It gave me the courage to follow my heart and do what I believe is right. I was starting to get very anxious about taking something that didn’t seem to be working to slow down the loss much anyway…especially since regardless of what doctors say, my hair didn’t start coming out until they STARTED me on estrogen replacement. I know it’s supposed to work the other way, but apparently not for me. Who knows where I’ll be a few months from now, but at least I won’t be worried about what the chemical estrogen and progestins are doing to the rest of my body.

I’m praying for no big shed and I’m also praying that it’s not permanent loss. I guess only time will tell. I so hope that six months from now, I’m on here telling you how great my hair looks, but either way, I have the strongest sense that this is the right thing to do. Thank you.

Mila November 23, 2009 at 1:40 am

Hi. I am too freaked out and upset to write in detail — I just wanted to say I am sending hope and strength your way, and wish you all the best. I know this is not a very useful post, but think of it as a cyber hug.

:-)

stacy July 17, 2013 at 12:08 pm

There needs to be more of a warning lable on birth control pills about this possibility. We need to get women to sign a petition or do something. If I knew birth control pills could cause telogen effluvium or that hairloss can continue the whole time you are on the pill or when you get off I would have never taken it. The only warning they give on bc pills about hairlass is under the uncommon side effects. And when you see that you assume u could possible experience some hairloss. Not sever hairloss or noticible hairloss that tramatizes us. Idk we need to do something to stop this from happening to other women. Its so devastating and could easily be prevented in so many women. I believe the bc companies dont want to warn women properly because no woman in her right mind would risk losing a bunch if not all of her hair just for birth control!

K October 31, 2016 at 1:04 am

Hi. I also want to say thank you. Even 9 years after you wrote this you have still inspired someone to get off BC. It is the best decision I have ever made even though I have very very little hair left to lose. I am wondering how your situation is this days…have you had any children?
Terri, did your hair loss ever ease up?
Sending good vibes out there for you guys x

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