Feeling sick and in despair

by Y on September 3, 2007

Today I’ve come down with some sort of bug and have been laying around on the couch while working from my laptop. I’ve had an crazy shedding day. I keep pulling out my ponytail holder to refasten it, only to see tons of hairs around it, then to further torture myself I keep swooping the ponytail only to be able to get out what seems like a gazillion hair each time. Obviously it is not a gazillion, but it is a lot. And then after all that, I pull the back of my shirt towards the front so that I can pick off the rest of the hairs that have fallen while I’ve done this little crazy routine. I’ve grown tired of trying to count exactly how many hairs I lose each day. It isn’t until recently that I have up given up that little hobby of mine. I realize it isn’t helping my situation, just causing me to waste more of my day on obsessing. I normally try to stay positive and employ the power of positive thinking, somehow believing that I can think myself into making my hair stop falling out. But days like this really get me down, it could be exacerbated because I’m already feeling lousy from being ill. I try and remind myself that there are worst things in life, I am lucky to be able to see, hear, walk… all the things that we typically take for granted. I wish I was able to be braver and seize control over this situation and just shave my head, perhaps regaining the part of me I’ve lost by taking control over an uncontrollable situation. Accept and move on. I’m not there yet.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

julie September 12, 2007 at 2:01 pm

I guess for me it was a matter of looking at myself and the options I had. Treatments were immediately ruled out but there were other things like wigs and hair pieces. I bought 2 wigs at $30 each and wear them everyday except for bed. Imagine what you spend $30 on a day? If it costs that little to restore your confidence, enough to function in society like work, date, exercise or just get out of the house, then its money very well invested. I get asked a lot by my friends, how I do it on a daily basis…those full hair people just don’t get it but i would never want them to feel what I feel. You have to make a list of the things you are grateful for, as I see you have, and just…stop…looking! I removed mirrors and only use a small compact to do makeup…or I wear my wig right away so that when I do wake up and look at myself, I know its me. I don’t feel like its me without the wig. I have thought about shaving my head but need the hair I have to hold the wig in place. I’m not financially secure enough to begin the bonding methods or something expensive like that. $30 for every 3-6 months is enough for me. The wigs are fun, different and styles that I would never be able to achieve even if I did have hair! When it was long and down to my rear, I didn’t know what to do with it. I will admit, I miss those days… :,( sorry…tearing up. I miss them so much. I was carefree and went swimming all the time. We can fight it…I know we can. Seriously, everytime you think about it, just pick up the phone and call someone, go out for a walk, try a new recipe, read a book or write your feelings out in a journal. Sometimes, you have to become your own healer!


Jackie April 18, 2008 at 6:27 pm

I used to sit in bed working on my laptop, watching TV, talking on the phone…and pulling on my hair to see how much I was shedding that day! It would literally drive me crazy (tons of it would come out) until I realized I do have an option I never considered—just stop checking. It does not mean that you do not care about yourself or want to shed less, it just means that you want to stop driving yourself crazy! You can still monitor in the shower, we can’t help but do that, but this huge change instilled in me after I read “The Secret.” I realized by constantly checking on how man hair fell, I was ‘attracting’ and focusing on what I didn’t want: more hair loss. What I wanted was more hair growth. So I switched to sodium lauryl sulfite free shampoos (no noticeable help) started taking a prenatal, calcium, biotin, and collagen stimulator (seemed to make it grow faster) just ordered Amenixil (we’ll see) started exercising more (helps it grow faster) switched to a more whole foods diet including raw foods (helped with growth/fullness) stopped drinking coffee and started drinking tea which helped a lot with stress and made my skin and hair appear healthier. I still have a bit of a journey ahead of me if I want to regain the amount of hair I had in my youth, but I’m on a positive tip and I can say that each ‘remedy’ is helping a bit. Enjoying good health is a true blessing! Let’s all keep up the good work!


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