hair loss

Before The Fall – Let’s Take It From The Top: Part One

by Y on June 28, 2020

I sat down with the intention of answering one of the questions I received through my survey I sent out to the mailing list about a couple weeks ago, but I realized there is so much back story to my story that it veered so off topic I felt I should maybe make it a little mini series, a collection of blog posts of my life with hair loss. I’m still flirting with this notion, so I’m starting with Part One, and you let me know below if this is something you’re interested in.

While I’m fairly sure this can be located here and there on this blog, it’s not in one straight forward series of before the fall (prior to 1999) to dealing in the isolation, devastation and confusion that came after, and living with hair loss… to starting The Women’s Hair Loss Project in 2007, to starting to wear wigs 2012, to present day. I’m getting Grant chart vibes from that. Visualize Grant chart. Or I could make one. Maybe not Grant, it’s more of a timeline chart, but I digress.

My hair loss began in 1999, and I didn’t start wearing hair until 2012. I bottomed out, meaning…I thought life was over in 2007… which is the year I started The Women’s Hair Loss Project. I cite that as an at-a-glance reference point to anything I say onwards in this post.

Wigged Reflections
[click to continue…]

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What Caused My Hair Loss?

by Y on May 29, 2020

What caused my hair loss? What caused your hair loss? Me and my wig sit in the sun to discuss this topic. I’d love to know what caused your hair loss, and would love to also know if you don’t know. I think often many women live their whole lives not knowing, I think that is pretty common, but the more we share, the more we can learn from each other…. and sometimes it will just forever remain a mystery. It’s hair loss, it’s complicated, so that’s a thing.

In this video I discuss the cause of my hair loss, which was getting off the Birth Control Pill, Loestrin FE in 1999. I also discuss my own regrets in jumping the gun on treatment and not allowing my body to maybeeee have a chance to resolve the situation on its own. Things I’ve pondered in the past a million times over. Maybe it would have, maybe it wouldn’t. I’ll never know, and while we can’t look back or go back, I can certainly share my story so that perhaps it helps another. Would love to hear from you with what caused your hair loss and also if you don’t know, definitely share that too!

Sending much love to all!
XOXO
~Y

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Women, Wigs & Hair Loss – What Do Men Think? [Video]

by Y on April 27, 2018

Women, Wigs & Hair Loss - What Do Men Think?I think one of the biggest concerns women have, in any state of their relationship when dealing with hair loss and wearing hair is… acceptance and understanding – of their situation, of themselves. Will my partner accept me? Will my future partner accept me? How am I going to date with a wig? What about being intimate? The questions are endless. 

I had the pleasure to sit down with Alex Hafner to discuss his perspective on this topic. He’s seen first hand my own wig wearing, met me with hair and then I just took it off (pretty typical for me), no warning. Just taking it off now. Everyone act natural. Pretty much, like that. I’ve readjusted (off and on) my wig in public restroom, wig swapped on a plane, and my hair was passed down the aisle of the plane to a woman that was interested in the whole thing, and quite fascinated to learn more. Basically, when I’m done with my wig, it’s coming off and whoever is around just better be prepared, or not… doesn’t matter much to me at this point. It’s just part of me and my existence and life style. 

It has been my personal experience, that men don’t really mind that women wear hair, including if you tell them you are wearing hair because of hair loss. My freedom has come in acceptance of my situation, I have hair loss, I wear a wig. I gave up on wishing all my hair would return, and that this situation would somehow change. The only thing I really had control over was how I could manage and deal with this hand I’ve been dealt, and it took well over a decade of suffering and praying and crying to get to that place. I hope others get there much faster.  I truly do “own” my situation, and accept it for what it is. I think that is why the response of those around me, men & women, has been so positive. Often when I get complimented on my hair, 99.9% of the time, I say, “it’a wig.” I don’t have to, but I do. Usually I’m met with disbelief and I take it one step further and have them feel, where the WiGrip sits at the nape of my head and watch their expression, the moment where they realize, I’m not joking… IT’S A WIG.  Good times.  [click to continue…]





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Hair Loss Matters

by Y on September 12, 2017

I recently had a conversation I hadn’t had in quite sometime, where I tried to explain to a friend about why hair loss affected/affects me, why it’s not just a nothing issue, even if you can throw on hair and wear a wig, ultimately why it impacts women so much.

I made this video to discuss this topic, but also to open the topic up for dicussion to others, to share how it affected/affects you and how you are dealing and have dealt with it.

I started to loose my hair in 1999, and began the process of acceptance after starting to wear hair in 2012. That’s a long time to sit in the pits of depression, despair and helplessness and watching myself evaporate before my very eyes. So clearly, hair loss matters. It’s a big deal, and so often it’s hard to get our friends and family to truly understand that this is ripping us apart, tearing us to pieces and leaving us simply a former shell of ourselves.

I am speaking for myself of course, but I have interacted with enough women to know this has not only been my experience/reality/truth, but others as well.

I hope to create a healthy dialogue of sharing with each other that can not only help us relate, but also help those that don’t understand, perhaps understand US, a little bit more.

The silver lining at the end of my tunnel, is that hair loss is no longer my master, my controller or my destroyer. I took back control. I only wish I had been able to do it sooner and not lost so many years of my life. I am always hoping that I can help just one other woman suffer a bit less than I ever did, and to know that hope exists.

The video is long, so if you can made it through the whole thing, congrats! LOL

Much Love To All
XOXO





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WHLP – Behind The Scenes Photoshoot

by Y on November 26, 2016

Women's Hair Loss Project BTSI’m way over due for life updates. Forgive me, this year went zip zip. I will be back with more on me.

This past week, while everyone was prepping their Thanksgiving day dinner, I met up with a group of amazing people to start a project towards de-stigmatizing hair loss and hair wearing for women. As odd as this may sound, through hair loss I have found love and friendship, I have found a greater self acceptance of myself that I never knew I could ever achieve, and the ability to connect with others who are like me. I have found the perfection in imperfection, mostly 😉

The day of the photoshoot, I woke up with a major rosacea breakout. Perfect skin the day prior and the day of it looked like Mike Tyson punched me in the face, I was swollen with a rash all over my face. I was icing my face at 4am. The photoshoot began at 7am. This on the heels of already accepting I wasn’t going to be whatever vision of scale perfection I had in mind, thanks to my new anti depressant keeping my body in a fluffier state. Lights, camera… holy crap, but a lot of time, planning, effort and money went into this and I wasn’t going to back out. The old (younger version) of me would have totally backed out and flushed it all down the drain (I’ve grown leaps and bounds), but jacked up face and all I knew this wasn’t about me. This was about helping women, it didn’t matter what was going on, on my physical being, that reality was more important… by far. [click to continue…]





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Living For Today

by Y on July 12, 2013

I sat down tonight, poured myself a glass of wine and remembered all the Friday nights (and Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday nights as well) I spent suffering in loneliness, fear, despair and bottomless depression. Whenever I could avoid the world I would, I made excuses for not making it to various functions and sought refuge on my couch, often times eating and drinking myself in a puffy sobbing, bloated mess. I felt sorry for myself ALL the time, and I simply could not process the future. What future? My hair was leaving at seemingly warp speed at times, and how could I ever live being a balding girl. How? My heart would sink at the mere mention of my fiancé talking about being able to wear a “hair addition.” What? That’s fake, that’s not real, that’s not me, never never never, not in a million years I would profess to him and then I’d leave the room (or cry) in frustration that he couldn’t really understand what I was going through. Not really anyways. I couldn’t compute and process any of this, so I sat paralyzed and living in a self imposed prison, bound by the shackles of hair loss.

I look back upon this, and I am quite saddened that I let my ENTIRE 20’s, and some of my 30’s pass by, as I sat still in the paralyzed fear of sadness, uncertainty and self loathing. This is time I will never get back. It was for all intents and purposes, very much like a prison sentence. Mind you, much of this time  I still had plenty of hair whilst it was falling out,  I still had hair that I could go out in and no one really would be clued into my hair loss issues, but that was of very small comfort. I hated myself for causing my hair loss. Yes I believed I did it to myself, after all I was the one that took the pill (Loestrin FE), that was my choice, had I not taken it in the first place all of this suffering may never have happened, so on top of everything else I had to deal with emotionally, I added blame to the mix — you know, just to spice things up in the self torture arena. [click to continue…]





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Twitter, Boobs, Wigs and Weight Gain

by Y on June 24, 2012

So after much hemming and hawing I decided in a very non decisive way to start a Twitter account for The Women’s Hair Loss Project. While I never started one before for various reasons, recently I have found myself out and about having funny and/ or interesting ( I think ) thoughts that would be great to share on a platform like Twitter. I also often run across interesting articles related to hair loss that I don’t have time to blog about, but would make for a perfect quick “tweet.”  I’m a private person, like an uber private person, so that has always kept me away from social networks, that, along with the thought of wondering how many women dealing with hair loss would want to “follow” a hair loss twitter page. I have no idea, and I understand completely if no one does. I did try and make the page as nondescript as possible making sure not to include anything “hair loss” in the name, website, icon or background. It is possible that the WHLP could be broadened by Twitter and perhaps more women needing help and support could find us. This is really more of a Twitter test run, because who knows, I could delete it next week, so don’t be surprised if go to the link one day and it says, “Page Not Found.” Here it is, with my lonely first tweet LOL: https://twitter.com/whlpnetwork

Now on to the fun stuff… boobs and wigs. Now how the heck did I tie these together? I’ve recently been thinking about why there is such a stigma associated with wigs, or any hair that is worn that isn’t the universally accepted, “extensions.” Women can proudly can get breast implants and even be commended for doing something for themselves, but talk about wearing hair out of necessity and you get looked at like you have 3 heads. “Why ever would you want to WEAR a WIG?” hummmm…. thinking of a reply, ” Oh it’s just something I’ve always dreamed about, ever since I was a little girl. I had hoped and prayed my hair would just started falling out when I was 21 and then I knew that perfect moment would come at 34 years of age when I would have so little hair I HAD to wear a wig.” How’s that for an answer? [click to continue…]





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Oh Baby… A Hair Wearing Adventure

by Cara on October 28, 2011

Most of you know me as “KatKat” or even the “resident topper expert” as I frequently give advice on toppers and how to wear them. I developed diffuse alopecia and chronic telogen effluvim four years ago and started wearing hair in my previous career as a pharmaceutical representative where I was judged by my appearance on a regular basis. I have worn hair through dating adventures and then under a veil on my wedding day. My topper and I have been through airports and dental surgeries, in wind storms and downpours, and on a cruise. But of all of the adventures I have ever had in my “hair,” none could prepare me for the events of my life this year.

On March 7, 2011, I gave birth to my wonderful son. After nine long months, I was so excited to meet my baby! Yes, my hair grew fuller while I was pregnant. However, what grew was just more bad, miniaturized hair — not “usable” hair. I discovered that I was so comfortable in supplemental hair that I would rather continue to wear it than resort to trying to fix my old, flyaway hair. I won’t lie, it was nice to see more hair when I took my topper off each night but that was the extent of celebrating seeing my hair come back.

Throughout my pregnancy I wondered about the day my son would be born. Would I have my topper secure enough? Should I just tell my nurses about my hair since we would be up close and personal? Would I have time to wash it when I went into labor? Should I wear a headband or a ponytail? So many scenarios played through my head. Deep down I longed not to care about any of it; but I did. [click to continue…]





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Finding a Wonderful and Caring Hair Replacement Shop/Salon In Los Angeles

by Y on August 27, 2010

I’ve seen enough fabulous hair pieces and wigs to know that it remains a very realistic, viable option for women who deal with hair loss. But the question always remains, where do you go? I know I’d definitely want to go somewhere that was caring, compassionate, patient, and a place that wasn’t pushy and truly had my best interest at heart. After all we aren’t buying iphones, we are buying something so intimately personal, I think a little TLC and hand holding is in order.

There is no question in my mind that a lot of women close the door to wearing hair because their first attempt turned out to be an awful and traumatizing experience, or the product was subpar, and from that they probably figured there was no point in continuing to try. Unfortunately, wearing hair isn’t really SO common that you can just turn to your girlfriend and say, “Love your hair, where’d you get it?” It’s also a completely different experience when you are buying hair because you NEED it, as opposed to buying it because you just think it would look neat with an outfit. One situation has deep rooted emotions and the other is really more of an optional accessory. For that reason, it is crucial to find a place that actually deals with women losing their hair and understands the devastation and feelings that encompasses it.

I think finding a good hair replacement salon is probably tantamount to finding a needle in a haystack, so I wanted to share the names of two shops that seem to truly be helping women.

I have heard several positive stories about:

Lee Anthony
1001 W. 17th Street, Suite H
Costa Mesa, CA 92627
949-515-0631
leeanthony.com

One WHLP member stated that Lee actually told her that it was too soon for her to need to wear something, which I think definitely shows honesty and integrity.

The place I most recently heard about is:

Wigs Today
6338 W. 3rd St.
Los Angeles, CA 9006
323-954-8809

If you make a visit here, make sure it’s the address I listed above. I did find another place in Los Angeles by the same name, which had horrible reviews, but I’m pretty certain this isn’t the same place. According to the listing I found on Yahoo: http://local.yahoo.com/info-20415634-wigs-today-los-angeles#overview this place was only recently established in 2009.

I am super cautious about ever recommending a product or service provider, but I feel confident that the experiences I have heard about regarding these salons are from real women who have been a part of the site for quite sometime with no ulterior motives.

As a final note, I’d also run (not walk) from any place that asked you to sign a contract, gave you a hard sell or made you feel uncomfortable in any way whatsoever.





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Friendships – Reach Out To Those You Care About

by Y on August 23, 2010

I’ve always been a private person, definitely more of an introverted personality. I find happiness and solace just being all by myself, never really feeling the need to have to be out and about and socializing. Well, hair loss added to that in a negative way. What once felt like a personal preference now seemed like a prerequisite to my life… solitude and isolation.

There were two monumental, emotionally catastrophic times caused by my hair loss. One was when this began in 1999, and the other crash came in 2007. I was losing my hair the whole time and having bouts of depression the whole way through, but those points mark times where I just sat constantly feeling helpless and completely without any motivation to live life. It’s definitely no coincidence that I created this site in 2007, it was an extremely sad time for me, and if you read my earlier posts you will likely feel the sadness and pain I was going through. I was withdrawn, I submerged myself into the comfort of my keyboard and I began to pour my heart out onto electronic paper. The more I typed, the more I shared, the more I started to feel better. Sharing is incredibly healing; I say it all the time.

During this time, I started to avoid my friends; I was ashamed of how much worse my hair was starting to look. It was thin before, but after having experienced a nonstop massive shedding from the 2 years prior, it was now a complete hopeless mess, and seemingly progressing each day. I didn’t want anyone to see me this way. I hid. In every sense of the word. I hid. I started avoiding phone calls, text messages and even started to skip the “reply” part of an email I would receive. It was just easier to push that part away (socializing) and focus on communicating and writing to women I met online, women who I knew understood what I was going through, that felt a whole lot safer.

As time passed I started to feel guilty for abandoning the friendships, and I started to feel empty.  I was saddened that I had pushed everyone away just so I wouldn’t have to share my secret and have them see me a way that I didn’t even want to see myself.

I wanted to reconnect, but how? So much time has passed. What do you say? Where do you pick up? “Hi, how are you… I’ve been balding for over a decade and it’s made me miserably depressed, sorry I didn’t call you back,” that just didn’t have the flow or direction I was hoping for.

I wrote emails, apologizing and explaining what has transpired in my life, or more appropriately put… what took over my life. I went out to lunch with someone else, and burst into tears over my jambalaya. I was scared, I felt vulnerable, but I was received with such love and understanding. I wasn’t judged. All that I had built up in my head of how no one would understand, was really just in my head. I also think when you share such a deeply personal part of your life with others; it can deepen and grow your friendship.

Make no mistake, this is still very much a secret of my life, but I told a few people I very much care about, and I don’t regret it. I know in writing with lots of women on this site, that others have also lost touch with their friends, and in some cases family, and I want to tell you… Your friends, your REAL friends, are still there, waiting for you to reach out. If you want to reconnect, make the choice, and decide how you feel most comfortable – phone, in person, email, telegram 🙂 and do it.





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