hair loss

I wish this post would be something more uplifting, but that isn’t the way hair loss always works is it? I sit here during my ninth year of hair loss all puffy from the crying spree/ meltdown I’ve just endured. Why today, why now? For the most part I have really accepted my hair loss and the thinness of my hair. But I guess the pain, sadness and frustration still floats close to the surface even though I usually keep it under wraps pretty well.

So what the heck happened?

It’s been over a year since I’ve been in for my annual hair cut. My hair is way too long for the thinness that my hair currently has. I can’t go back to the salon, my hair is too thin and I would be way too self conscious. I previously confided my hair loss to my hair stylist and she was understanding and careful not to tug on my hair and also let me comb it out after it was wet. But that was over a year ago and I’m even too embarrassed to have her cut my hair in my home. On a previous visit she had told me she could do that for me, which I thought would be great, until now. Here I am, stuck, helpless and tired.

Who can just cut my hair? I need a stylist who has hair loss, who is sensitive to the issue and who lives in Los Angeles and who can come over to my house, OR a stylist who works for a salon that has private rooms. I was recommended a local place by a friend in the network (Thank you Lisa)  but it is a hair replacement salon, and I am afraid that after they get a gander at how thin my hair is that they will want to push me toward that direction of adding hair to my own,  and I’m not mentally ready for that yet. I just want a haircut, why can’t I get a haircut? [click to continue…]

{ 21 comments }

An Inspirational Hair Loss Video – Kylie

by Y on September 5, 2008

This is the original video made by Karr & Karr Productions of Kylie the day she shaved the remaining hair off her head. It hasn’t grown back in 4 years. I am in complete awe of this young woman. What courage and strength, what an incredible inspiration. Definitely check this one out.

{ 5 comments }

An Inventive Way To Comb Your Hair

by Y on August 29, 2008

I am just about to head out the door, but I wanted to make a quick post about my exciting new way to comb my hair. I’m always looking for new ways to avoid having to constantly be smacked in the face with the fact that I’m losing my hair every time I comb my hair after a shower. It is pure torture to just stand there and watch the hair fall like strands of spaghetti from my head. The darn hair is gonna fall whether I look at it or not, and when I’m going through a heightened shedding period I’d really prefer not to watch. I need CONTROL. I’ve done the “blind comb” where I’d sit on the bed with a towel around me and comb my  hair without a mirror, then I’d pick up the towel (not looking of course) and take it outside…shake shake shake.. and I’m all done! No hair loss. Crazy huh? Okay it gets even crazier.

I’m so frustrated with the fact that I’m still going through these shedding periods and I truly don’t have a lot left to lose. So about 20 minutes ago I was standing comb in hand, wet hair, and staring at the sink. It was like a duel out of an old western movie. I glanced at the toilet, I glanced at the sink and back to the toilet. The hair is gonna end up in the toilet anyways so why don’t I just shorten the trip! I squatted around the toilet and comb my hair, the hairs fell right in and I flushed them away. I don’t know if I lost one hair or 200 hairs!  Oh sweet harmony that felt good! I mean seriously, really liberating.

What makes dealing with hair loss so hard is the lack of control, the feeling of the inability to do anything to make those hairs stop falling out. The helplessness. These little things give me back control. And instead of watching my hair fall out of my head, a feel a sense of relief and I go out and enjoy myself at the movies. Whatever helps you get through the day. 🙂

{ 3 comments }

So I just read a story on The Bald Truth website that sparked a touchy nerve for myself. The guy wrote he had “hair envy.” Oh my, how I can very much relate. I find I’ve lost countless seconds, minutes and hours of my life lusting after other women’s hair. If I ever witness a crime, I won’t be able to offer much other than a complete description of every hair follicle, of each woman who was in the room. Color, length, density, soft, dry… whatever, you name and I’ve taken note of it.

I am frequently absent from conversations of the company I am around because I’m too busy having wandering eyes for women’s hair. In the past it wasn’t uncommon for an entire day to be ruined because I saw what appeared to be a 90 year old woman with crazy, rich, silver, thick hair that could surely land her smack right in the middle of a Pantene commercial. How unfair! I started losing my hair at 21 and she STILL has ALL her hair. But as my mom always used to say “Life isn’t fair.” How true. Nine years of hair loss has shown me how unfair life can be to people, and I am talking about more than hair. Mental note to self… I got a raw deal, no two ways about it, no one should ever lose their hair at 21 or 30 or 40 for that matter. But, be thankful that I have my health, a wonderful partner, a great family and a pretty darn good life aside from this “hair thing.”

I never appreciated my thick hair when I had it, I wish I had. Everything we have can technically be “on loan” so we have to try so hard, even on those days when the shedding has us scraping the floor, to appreciate what we have today. I am reminded of the song “Everybody’s Free” by Baz Luhrmann. In the song he says, “Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.” and then he goes on to say “Do one thing every day that scares you.” and I’m thinking, uh I DO.. I SHOWER and COMB what’s left of my hair. 🙂

Just for kicks, here is the video of the song “Everybody’s Free!”

{ 5 comments }

Thyroid Hair Loss Success Story

by Y on August 11, 2008

This Story was sent in by Angel, you can visit her profile page on the network here.

Hi. I wanted to share my story. It may help someone else. I had my fourth child in April 2007. I had a major hair fall after stopping breastfeeding. At some point after that it really started thinning, but I guess I really didn’t notice until my mother made mention of it. I started back on Desogen (low androgenic) pill for about 3 months and my hair fall was normal. I then had decided I no longer wanted to use synthetic hormones and stopped. After that, my hair starting falling out in droves. I went to an internist to have my thyroid checked. I was told that all my labwork was normal. I would just find myself in tears some days b/c it just wouldn’t stop. One day, I was speaking with a friend of mine who has been a raw food dieter for about 10 years. She had been having some problems with her skin and told me that she had been seeing a natural pharmacist. I made an appointment to see him one day (I also am a pharmacist). I went with my labwork and about 5 days worth of taking my oral temperature (regular thermometer) which averaged 97.4 degrees—optimal 98.8-99.2. My thyroid panel that my internist ran was only a TSH level and a total T4. He gave me a list of labs to have done at my second doctor’s office (my ob/gyn), which included Vitamin D, B12, DHEA-S, Free T3 and Free T4. The pharmacist that day muscle tested me (sounds crazy, but it works!) and put me on a couple of supplements like Vit D, Iodine/Iodide and a couple of things for adrenals. His gut feeling was, even though my TSH was normal, my temperature was too low and for some reason my thyroid was not being utilized appropriately. (I also complained of fatigue and low libido). [click to continue…]

{ 31 comments }

My Life With Hair Loss

by Y on July 16, 2008

My Life With Hair LossWhen I was younger I never ever could have imagined that my destiny was to be a woman with hair loss. The thick mane (clearly on loan) that I was born with was only a temporary gift. Over the last 9 years I’ve suffered a lot, but I’ve also learned a lot. I’ve become a stronger individual and also someone is more compassionate, forgiving and understanding of others around me. I suppose depending on your religious standpoint one could argue that God had wanted to challenge me, test me and make me a better person. I’ve searched for answers high and low, a deeper understanding of why, why me? For myself to live and stay sane, I have to personally believe that there is a “reason” that this was thrust upon me at 21 years of age. So I go with that, whatever helps you sleep at night right? I practically slept through my 20’s feeling sadness and despair for the future… what will be tomorrow. I feel such a heaviness and sadness when I write that, a get a lump in my throat and my eyes begin to well up with tears. I feel a sadness for yesterday even though it’s gone and far behind. Almost like I’m mourning the years I’ve left behind, the years of hair loss. I look back and I realize it was so needless to stay in bed and hide from the world. All along the way I had enough hair to get by and not have the world know my dark little secret.

I would really like to drum that message into the minds of the women who are waking up today and realizing they are losing their hair. You still have A LOT of hair, more than you know and the world isn’t staring at it, only you are. Someone once asked me what I would do differently looking back on the years I’ve dealt with hair loss… I would have lived more. I would have said yes to more dinners and social gatherings, parties and quiet get togethers, I would have let my hair down instead of trying to hide what was only visible to myself. After all during all that time, I still had enough, but I was too focused on the worry of tomorrow to appreciate what I had today.

I am 30 years old now and don’t want to make that same mistake. There is no doubt my coping skills have far advanced over the years and I can snap out of a “down time” a lot faster. I still struggle with things like talking about my hair loss, letting others into my world. I still have a long way to go (hopefully with hair still on my head) in self acceptance, but I’m pretty proud at how far I’ve come. I still run away from mirrors and turn off lights, it is all apart of how I’ve learned to cope. I hope one day I’ll be able to stare at myself in a store window or leave the harsh lights on in the bathroom, look at my reflection and love what is looking back at me. This is me, this is who I am, I have female pattern hair loss… the hand has been dealt and now it’s is up to me to either learn from the past or guarantee myself future regrets.

~Y

http://community.womenshairlossproject.com/womenshairlossproject/

{ 15 comments }

As most of you have probably already noticed I haven’t written very much lately. I’ve just been sort of trying to refocus my energy to get through this really really tough time. As I write I have to pause as I cannot see the screen though all my tears that keep falling like water out of a facet. I cannot be certain as to why I am going through another very bad shed, I should know by now that I probably should just stop asking why and move on.

For the most part I get through my day, but with a sadness and awareness each time I touch my head or see my reflection. I avoid all mirrors even the ones in grocery stores. I run past store windows for fear I’ll catch that glimpse that will ruin my day. That is how I’ve worked to be able to main a quasi productive day and to live my life… avoid my reflection, turn off the bathroom lights before entering, wear my hair up in a ponytail type bun so that I do not feel the lack of hair I have and to avoid having to be reminded every second of the day that I’m losing my hair as another strand falls on my arm, shoulders or back.

I just took a shower and washed my hair, it pretty much is dried already by the time I take a comb to it, thats how thin it is now. I comb through, saying any words of comfort to myself, a prayer, the alphabet, anything to keep myself busy while I get through the toughest part of my day. The hair falls out so easy like gobs of spaghetti. I consider taking the razor to my head right then and there and just being done with it, but I decide against it for the moment. I’m usually much stronger than this when dealing with my hair but I’ve felt so sad and weak lately. I remind myself it is only hair, and if this is the worst thing that ever happens to me then I probably should consider myself lucky. I feel so sad right now, a heaviness that just sits on me. It’s 4:35pm do you think it is too early for a glass of wine? 🙂 I think not.

P.S. Forgive me if you’ve written to me and I have not answered yet, I will definitely get back to you. I’m just trying to piece myself back together right now.

{ 20 comments }