Letter To My Hair Loss

by admin on November 19, 2008

Dear Hair,

I am so mad at you, and hurt by you for what you have done to me. I sit here in my pajamas and robe, crying uncontrollably from your selfish desire to leave. Have you no consideration for me? For my life , for my sanity? For 21 years you deceived me, tricked me into a false sense of security thinking you would be with me for life. What did I ever do to you? Was it lack of appreciation?

Now for 9 years you let me try to do different things to win you back. I gave you all sorts of things…. I even prayed for you and meditated for you! And what do you do? You tease me. You stay for awhile then run away. Stay, then run away. Now you’ve almost taken all of your things and left. What am I left with? An emptiness and wonder for what I will do without you.

How did I ever depend on you so much? You logically seem so insignificant, yes I SAID it, insignificant! What do you do? You just sit there, waiting to be tended to and pampered. I have other things more precious than you. Health, Sight, Hearing, Legs, Arms, and Heart.  I know you’ve made up your mind already, and that there is nothing left I can give you to stay. So I guess I should work on moving on as well. But… if you want to stay, I’ll gladly take you back! So let me know at the next shampoo, k?  :)

Yours Truly,

Mind, Body, & Soul

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Angela November 19, 2008 at 1:00 pm

Thank you for pouring out your heart and thank you for sharing your pain. I am sitting here crying and remembering a time when I felt that way and even now sometimes I get that feeling, but I never had words to describe such emotion.
You are beautiful and I grieve with you.

admin November 19, 2008 at 1:46 pm

Dear Angela,

Thank you for your words, they mean a lot. I read your comment then I cried some more. I shouldn’t go out today, I look a mess, all cherry faced an puffy from breaking up with my hair. Just as well my robe is quite comfy, and this Hanes white t-shirt is growing on me. The messed up thing about this robe is that it is like a suction device for my hair, each time I look down there is hair all over my arms stuck to my little green robe, AND my hair is in a damm pony tail, someone call Ripley’s ! How the hell is it sneaking out of there. I jest, I really do know. It’s because these are the shorter hairs, the ones that aren’t long enough to make it securely into the ponytail. The weaker ones that lie short and then fall, the miniturizing follicles, The SOB’s! :)

Thank you again for your comment and for being there for me.

xoxo,
Y

rachaeljean1 November 19, 2008 at 10:32 pm

Thank you. I totally appreciate the relationship and the break-up, but, mostly I appreciate the humor and the happy face it ended on. You have quite a witty way of looking at this mass of entangled womanhood departing before it’s time. We are ever hopeful that it will all come back and fortunate to have each other when it leaves, however slowly. Many smiles to you for the tears and smiles that you shared with all of us today. Chuckles too. rachaeljean1

misty November 20, 2008 at 5:28 am

You know that you are inspiring so many others… however, that doesn’t leave you from feeling vulnerable from the same struggles you help us with. You are able to express yourself in such a way. I hope that getting your feelings out of your head is helpful to you – I know it always helps me!

As you told me one time, consider this a bad day and look up for tomorrow. Bad days will always sneak in and consume us, but don’t let it keep you down. You have so much to be thankful for and we have so much to thank you for!

Big hugs!

barbara November 20, 2008 at 5:31 am

I know what you all mean when you say you see your hair on your clothes. I’m reconciling myself to the fact that I’ll get a wig one day. While some things seem to help hair loss, I think they cause other serious problems. I wouldnt try hormones that they recommend. Alot of soy, too, is linked to cancer, so I wont use that either.
Dont use pony tail holders or other things that pull the hair. I pulled my hair up for years, and I regret it now. I’m in Florida, its really hot, and never thuoght it would cause a problem, cause I had very thick hair. It just makes me sick to see what hair I have lost and all the other personal problems I’ve had over the past few years. Stress could be the reason in my case. I have a terrible family.

lisa1969 November 20, 2008 at 9:04 am

Dear Y, I’m so sorry. You are a fighter, and I so respect that about you. As Misty said, tomorrow will be better but today is what it is, isn’t it? I so understand the feelings of betrayal. I never in my life could have envisioned that the thing that I liked best about my physical self would be the thing that has caused me the most heartache. I often try to stop and think about what I do have in terms of my health, but as you know, sometimes it’s not enough. You are an inspiration and a beautiful light for so many of us here. (God, now I’M crying! :0)
xoxoxoxox
lisa
p.s. what IS it with those damn robes?? I love mine but I swear it’s like a magnet for my hair!

admin November 20, 2008 at 8:32 pm

Dear Rachel, Misty, Barbara, and Lisa,

@Rachel – Thank you for sharing my feelings and for your support and encouragement. I try to infuse a little humor in my writing even when I’m sad if I can muster it, it usually helps to uplift my own spirits as I reread what I wrote :)

@Misty – Yes indeed, writing usually helps to clear the mind, if provides time for pause and reflection and afterwards there is usually some sense of fulfillment. I will recall the words I once told you, and start telling them to myself.. over and over!! Thank you!

*hugs* back at you.

@Barbara – I’m sorry or your hair loss struggles, it is so difficult. I think you stand there thinking, “do I hold on or move on ? ” I work on moving forward all the time, but gosh darn it, I still want my hair. I want my own hair. I have to let go, I know I won’t have it forever. Thank you for writing.

@Lisa – My FHLCTM, My SISTA! Yes, today is what it is and I am always hopeful that tomorrow will be better. Thank you so much for you support Lisa, it means a lot to me. I think we need to write the friggin manufacturers of these hair sticking magnetic robes. It’s ridiculous, I’m thinking I should find a slicker robe, you know like a shiny raincoat type material. That should be nice an comfy huh? Have you seen that commercial for some vacuum where the husband and wife are sitting on plastic, they are wearing plastic, and there whole house is covered in plastic so they could keep the pet hair off? Well at the rate this hair is falling that will be my next step, either that or that nifty little vacuum they keep peddling between my judge judys :)

Much love to all.

xoxo,
Y

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