Will I Ever Have The Strength To Just Shave My Head?

by admin on September 22, 2007

Will I Ever Have The Strength To Shave My Head?I talk so much more now about shaving my head with my fiance, he is all for it. If you are wondering why I would want to do that, please read my hair loss story. I cannot treat it anymore, my medications have stopped working, but yet I still am a prisoner to them. I fear if I remove myself from them I will experience greater shedding from a hormone shift. Shaving my head would free me. It would allow me to get off my medication now and not have to “see” the shedding. It is the shedding that tears me up inside, a constant reminder that very soon I’ll just have thin patches of hair around my head.

Talking isn’t doing, but that fact I am talking about shaving my head is really healthy. I am getting more comfortable with the idea each time I really try to envision it. I’m starting to believe that I will eventually be able to make that choice. Thinking about it makes me sigh a breath of relief… I’d be able to finally get off the aldactone and orthotricyclen I’ve been using to treat my hair loss. In my post titled “Regretting Past Decisions on My Hair Loss” I relay my regret about ever getting back on the pill to treat my hair loss, knowing it was the very cause of it. I didn’t really think it through. I didn’t realize that even if it worked I would have to be on it forever to maintain the hair that it saved. But what about children? I haven’t had kids and have felt that that option has been ripped away from me. How can I have kids on the pill? I can’t. But how can I get off knowing that I could have even more increased shedding that would depress me so much I couldn’t get out of bed. How would I be able to be a mother then? I wouldn’t. Not to mention who knows the damage of taking birth control pills and aldactone, an antiandrogen which is essentially a blood pressure pill, long term? I don’t have high blood pressure yet I agreed to take Aldactone for it’s antiandrogen properties, I didn’t think it all through.

I suppose my feelings would be all different if the treatments continued to work warding off impending hair loss, but it isn’t. Not after 8 years it isn’t. It did help me before (I think) although I never will really know what would have happened if I just decided to let be what would be 8 years ago. Would my hair loss have stopped on it’s own? Would my hormones or whatever was causing the extreme loss after getting off the pill rectify by itself? Maybe. Maybe not.

Part of healing will be accepting the decisions I made. Accepting myself. Once I’ve done that, I think I’ll be ready to shave my head and start living again. I look forward to that day.

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Elle September 23, 2007 at 2:18 am

Just do it, you’re a strong woman, I know you can. Stop torturing yourself by putting it off. If you think it’ll make you feel better and you want to do it, then do it! :)

Elle.

admin September 23, 2007 at 2:08 pm

The more I talk about it, the more I find myself thinking about it all day and in a really positive way. My mind is getting more comfortable with the idea. I actually think about how I would tell my family. I’d have to gather them all together and let them know what I was planning on doing, just appearing to a family dinner one night with a shaved head wouldn’t go over well :)

I prefer my days being filled with these type of thoughts than the days I just get so depressed about my hair loss and feel trapped. I also have thought a little about maybe getting a “topper” to conceal my hair loss, I go back and forth about thinking what I should do. But what does make me happy is that either of these choices and thoughts are very functionally proactive. They can happen. Its not a drug treatment where you hope and then get disappointed or have side effects etc. Drug treatments work sometimes, sometimes they don’t, and in my case they don’t anymore. But these choices “shaving” or “topper” have definitive outcomes. There is certainty, something I haven’t had in so long. Talking about it has helped me tremendously in clearly out a lot of the negative thoughts (although they still creep in now and then) and allowing my mind to make way for new possibility.

julie September 24, 2007 at 1:48 pm

Why not try a wig? Reprieve is similar to a topper! It pulls your own hair through the piece (integration) and is taped together. You can do anything with this thing, its amazing! Its human hair!

admin September 24, 2007 at 4:41 pm

Hi Julie – How much does reprieve cost?

Kewpie March 30, 2008 at 5:31 pm

Hello Y,
I read this blog a lot, so I’ve read your posts. Do you still consider shaving your head?

I’m at the beginning of the “hair loss adventure” as you call it. I think I can attribute it to birth control pills, which I’m on right now (ortho tri but I’ve been on a variety over the years).

Looking back on your experience, what would you do differently? I’ve lived by the quote, “Twenty years from now, you will regret the things you didn’t do rather than the things you did do” (Mark Twain!), so I wonder if I should just go off the pills and see if my shedding problem doesn’t correct itselve.

seema September 14, 2008 at 1:16 am

what an inspirational video!!! and are those her parents? if so, i love how supportive they all seem to be! its really beautiful, brought tears to my eyes. btw, did you end up doing it?

admin September 14, 2008 at 1:41 pm

Hi again Seema, you must be talking about Kylie’s Video ( https://www.womenshairlossproject.com/hair-loss-video/an-inspiration-hair-loss-video-kylie/ ) Omigosh, isn’t she amazing ?? I admire her strength so deeply.

Sadly no, I never mustered up the courage *yet* to just take that bull by the horns and be done with it already. No matter how far I’ve traveled in accepting my situation and hair loss I still have plenty far to go. Thanks for asking though :)

Take care.

All The Best,
~Y

claudia January 6, 2013 at 5:25 pm

wow i’m glad i read your post. my dermatologist wanted to put me on the pill too. she diagnose me with having telogen-effluvium.
i’m almost 40, and for most of my life i couldn’t conceive on my own so i had to take fertility drugs to have my son. i think i always had a problem with hair loss but never wanted to fully admitted it to myself. it hasn’t gotten as bad yet, but i recently stopped denying i didn’t have a problem and went to see a dermatologist who wasn’t very understanding to my problem. any how, she suggested i start on the pill and take spironolactone with it. I hesitated having read that the pill is one of the causes of hair loss.
i’ve never taken the pill, perhaps maybe when i was in my teens or early twenties and when i fertility doctor put me on it. but never stay on it. could have been the cause of my hair loss or not but i’ll never be sure. but any how, my reasons for not wanting to start was that and also because i wanted to have another child. this is the sad thing i had to consider. loss more hair or have a child, and it was the only reason beside of course knowing that it could also contribute to more of my hair loss. right now i’m just taking biotin, washing my hair with Nioxin and using rogaine. although i don’t think the rogaine is working. i’ve also started taking a pill called Hair Essentials. the pill promises growth after 3 months. i don’t know what else to do or what else to try. i was told i wasn’t a candidate for a hair transplant. but i’m thinking of going for a second opinion.

K October 19, 2014 at 12:55 pm

I just saw your blog and found it very interesting. I have also been suffering from hair loss since 2005 and was diagnoised with underactive thyroid and Polysystic ovaries. I have been to see dermatologist and hair experts. I had no luck. I also wore a hair volumiser which made my hair loss worse. It came to a point that I woke up at 5am and asked my sister to shave my hair. I cried throughout the process while my older sister shaved my hair and my 19 year old sister held my hand.

I am 28 years old now and after 9 years I finally decided to shave it off. I do regret as I wish I did it sooner then later. Having done it now I feel great as I see myself taking better care. I oil my scalp every few days. I also try herbal remedies such as putting onion juice, lemon juice or even egg whites before having a wash for 30 mins. I can see some improvements and I actually think I suit the bald look.

I wear a headacrf and have been wearing it for some time now so it has been easy for me to cover my head. Maybe you can wear a wig or bandana.

I would encourage others to do it but you have to be prepared to do it yourself and not wait for anyone to say do it. Do it when you feel you are ready. I did because I felt ready at 5am in the morning. I knew if I didnt do it that morning I would never do it.

I hope my story helps you in some way. You are not alone.

J March 2, 2016 at 9:50 am

Hi All,
I have had thinning hair for a few years now. Like many of you doctors don’t seem to take me seriously. I don’t know if the hair loss is due to stress, birth control etc.

I’ve finally decided to stop letting it control my life. About a month ago I bough hair clippers and shaved it…not completely just very close to the scalp.

It was a very freeing moment for me! I use a soft beanie to workout in. I live in the south so we shall see how this works in summer heat.

I have a synthetic wig that I wear out and to work. My amazing husband who always supports me has started setting aside money every month so that I can eventually purchase a Follea wig.

Does anyone with a basically shaved head wear a Gripper?

Leave a Comment

Join the Women's Hair Loss Project Network to meet other women
with hair loss. Share your thoughts, comment, rant, rave, laugh, cry...communicate. Click To Join
Just Launched - Join the NEW Forum for The Women's Hair Loss Project. If you are already an existing member of the Network then you already have an account set up and will need to use the Reset Password link to enable your forum account. Click To Join

Previous post:

Next post: