womens hair loss

On The Devastation of Hair Loss

by Y on January 21, 2024

Women with hair loss are so often dismissed, they are often told, “At least it’s not cancer,” as though the pain and trauma of losing yourself should be celebrated because you didn’t have something else, worse, something that society understands and universally deems far more traumatic… life threatening. 

The thing is, over the years I have heard from many women who did have cancer, women who experienced hair loss outside of having cancer, that shared the trauma of that in its own right. 

Part of healing involves being seen, it involves having your feelings validated, but women’s hair loss is so misunderstood and so heavily dismissed and invalidated, it creates and even more difficult path to healing. 

This was a DM message I received from KM, in reply to one of my stories, where I shared about the woman who wrote me as a 5x cancer survivor, who later in life got hair loss outside of cancer and said that, that hair loss was worse, than any of the times she had cancer and any of the hair loss associated with it at those times.

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Sex, Wigs & Hair Loss

by Y on May 28, 2021

Sex, Wigs & Hair Loss –  Can you have sex in a wig? Yes. Do you need to have sex in your wig? I don’t think you should feel you have to do anything other than what feels best for you, and what makes you feel most comfortable. 

If you choose to keep your hair on, I do think it’s helps if you’ve shared that you wear hair, and also note – there isn’t much of an explanation you are required to provide as to why – that’s up to you, but in doing so, you won’t be as concerned if it’s touched or if it slips a tiny bit. 

Personally, I would be turned off by anyone that doesn’t accept all of me, the hair loss and the wigs… and I often rip that bandaid before an appetizer is ordered on Day 1, so I haven’t really had to battle or navigate this situation with any degree of real stress to it. Also, my Instagram I use for Women’s Hair Loss Project is the only Instagram I use, so when someone says “Hey, what’s your Instagram?” That is what they get.  You’re welcome gentlemen. So it’s not  a secret to men or women in my life, but I do know not everyone wants to share, we are all different and I don’t think any one way is better than the other. Whichever allows you to live your best life, is the right way for you. 

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What If…. 

To avoid confusion, wigged up. All images are wigged. Except the obvious shaved one.

What if we accepted as truth, that this life isn’t a dress rehearsal, this is it, our one shot.

What if we realized our misfortunes, our angst… Is just that, our misfortunate and angst, but it does not define us, nor has to.

What if we accepted that we can actually live, despite not having every single thing we expected in our lives – like our hair. 

What if we could honor our feelings while simultaneously moving forward, without judgment of self.  What a concept. Abandoning judgment of self, and any real or perceived judgment from others – abandoning that too. 

If our happiness is relying on things we cannot control, we are surely in for a rough road. My suffering in hair loss came from just dealing in loss…. constantly, that and a loss of control, loss of self, and no matter what I did, an inability to get back “what should be.” 

Who’s to say what should be? Simply because I was born with hair doesn’t entitle me to have it forever. Everything on us is potentially on loan, including life.

If we focus on our loss we can lose gratitude for all that we do have, perpetuating a cycle of self-erosion. 

What if we focused more on some of what we have, what is good, rather than reminiscing the loss. 

If there was a sport for “Reminiscing The Loss” I would be a top contender, a front runner for sure. 

I am truly skilled in the art of living backwards.
Truly skilled.

Over analyzing what left me or what was taken, and to further detriment, thinking of it in those terms actually sets up the mind, and every facet of your constitution, to automatically be on the losing end, from the start.

That’s like starting towards the race of life, not a little behind where the line starts – but rather in a ditch.  It is our race, we race against ourselves, but who wants to start in a ditch?

What if we accepted, this was just life, not all great. Accept the past, live in the present, look towards the future. I know, it’s not always so easy, but what if.

What if I told you, you are stronger than you think.

2016 – The incredibly talented Sophie Hafner created this color for me for a photoshoot, and also dying her own hair pink for the shoot as an effort to help me to de-stigmatize wig wearing, showing what hair wearing CAN be.

What if we strive to not excel in the sport of reminiscing the loss, but work to build our now, and our tomorrow with the cards that are dealt, have been dealt and work with what is within our control. 

What if….

I have often been asked how I managed to accept and move past hair loss, and it’s worth noting, I don’t think I’ve necessary moved past it, more accurately stated, I learned to adapt and live with it.

No longer be a slave to it…Accept what I thought was impossible and change my preconceived notions that began with, “I could never…”

I could never wear wigs – I can
I could never live unless all my hair came back – I could
I could never be accepted with hair loss and wigs – I was and am.

Most importantly, I accept myself, which lends itself to the rest falling in place.

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This is me, and the story behind The Birth of The Women’s Hair Loss Project. Before I continue, just a note, I’m wearing a wig and have been wearing wigs for the last 8 years. I state that because I know sometimes if people don’t spot the wig, they are confused by what I’m saying when they see hair on my head, but it is a wig.

My name is Y. Just Y. I was born with more letters to my name, but was reborn as a single initial when I started The Women’s Hair Loss Project in 2007. I felt a life destroyed by my hair loss, which is what led me to start my site and The Women’s Hair Loss Project Network 13 years ago. I started it at the lowest point of my journey, when I felt there was no hope left, and I was done for. What followed was unexpected, in beginning to blog about my journey dealing with hair loss as a twenty something girl, eventually women found me and they wrote back, connected and no longer alone, the process of my own healing began. It’s a continual journey and evolution. This is a part of my story. WHLP = Women’s Hair Loss Project . WHLPNETWORK = Women’s Hair Loss Project Network. This is me, I am some of you, and we are connected.

Much Love To All
XOXO
~Y

Follow me on Instagram @whlpnetwork

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Sending Love, Hugs and Prayers To All

by Y on March 22, 2020

The last week as been an incredibly introspective week for me. The world is turned on its ear and we are all doing our best to adapt to the changes that seemingly appear hour to hour, yet alone day to day. I hope and pray everyone is doing well and staying healthy. I have been fairly active posting on social media in the last few months, but I am really feeling the desire now more than ever to reconnect with all of you, my WHLP family. My followers, old and new, the people that knew me from back in 2007 and onwards. You have been my support, my rock, my family and when I self reflected this past week, I realized it was really communicating through my site here has always been what has been the most rewarding, grounding, comforting and most importantly, always providing a feeling of safety.

Now more than ever, I am looking to reconnect with my WHLP Family. I’m posting this video special for those of you who have followed my site for years and subscribe to my mailing list, or more recently came across it. Much of the posting I’ve done in more recent times has been on social media (Instagram, Facebook, YouTube and I do encourage you to follow me there also if you choose and think it would be helpful), but The WHLP is my baby, it really is, my family and were I feel at home and secure and love connecting with you all. I’ll be posting more here now. Please also feel free to follow me on social media, as I will also continue to  post there as well, but after a very introspective week,I think I will be focusing more on my website and posting my content right here for you ladies.

I know I’ve lost touch with some of you over the years, and would love to hear from you. Please feel free to drop a comment below. I also will be re-establishing the “Network” and upgrading it so that it is a means for women to use to connect and interact with one another as I originally set it out to be and was for many many years,  when I first put it up in 2008. This will take a little time so please be patient, but I’m looking forward to growing the WHLP family again. Reconnecting with old friends and making new ones.

During this time where we are social distancing, it’s important to take care of our mental well being (I discuss my own issues with anxiety and depression the video), keep moving, exercising etc. While I can’t go to the studio to the podcast I can still do it from home (albeit at a lower audio quality,  but I would like to help put out information you would find helpful. Please let me know what topics you’d like to hear about for the podcast or videos you’d like to see.  I hope everyone is staying safe, and well, look forward to hearing from you.

As Always, Much Love To You All!
XOXO
Y





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Self Limiting Beliefs & Hair Loss

by Y on March 3, 2020

Our own thought process can hinder our day to day life and make an already sub-optimal situation worse. Dealing with hair loss is hard enough as it is, imposing additional self judgment or self limiting beliefs only serves to harm us and keep us from moving forward. I still to this day, have to put myself in check when I find I am doing this.

I do it in many areas of my life, but I certainly did it prior to accepting my hair loss/situation and wearing hair, and then I find I’m doing it yet again with not being able to shave my head yet… something I personally feel will be important to me in my journey.


Last week I made a post on Instagram about having to rally myself up again because I have been confronted with yet another shed. While hair loss doesn’t impact me on the level it used to, it still does have an effect on me at times, such as dealing with a shed, and on top of that [click to continue…]





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Crippled By Hair Loss

by Y on February 4, 2020

Crippled By Hair LossIn 2016, with a crew of people involved, we filmed footage aimed towards destigmatizing women’s hair loss, to bring forward more awareness and understanding for women dealing with this devastating disorder – with the respect it deserves and love and compassion. Sadly, life threw me in many directions and I have never been able to have the time to work on releasing the footage. No time like the present. The content is never old, because hair loss is affecting someone every single day. Tomorrow, someone is going to wake up having to deal with this affliction.

In this segment I titled “Crippled With Hair loss” I discuss my lowest point of my hair loss, and also the deals or pacts I used to want to make with God, if I would be granted the reprieve of my hair falling out and having it grow back in. It will sound shocking to many people I know, but there was a time, that I often thought I’d easily swap my breasts or a kidney, for my hair. This is how deeply I, personally… was impacted, and it was a no brainer for me, since I could not see ANY life beyond hair loss.

I realize that sounds insane to many many people, but it is not insane to the person who is living in a prison of self loathing, despair and deep depression. Right now I’m imagining people wanting to slap me for saying that, but trust me when I say, it hurts to admit that, or know that’s how dark it got for me. I put this out there, because I do want women who feel this way to know, they aren’t alone. They aren’t crazy… and if you’ve seen the place I’ve reached in my own journey today, you will know… there is hope.

Now, thankfully I no longer have those thoughts anymore, and I would definitely not swap my breasts, kidneys or my toes for my hair. Now my hair comes out of a box and gets colored while I’m not even present. We can adapt and change.

Follow me on Instagram: @whlpnetwork





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Hair Loss – Wigs – Reflections

by Y on September 14, 2018

reflectionsReflected. Reflect. Reflections.
Evolved. Evolve. Evolving.

Words. Just words.

My own hair loss situation, has evolved greatly over the years. Mostly, in how I dealt with it.

Adapted. Accepted. From cutting off most of my hair over time, to finding a short style to work to provide optimal hair wearing results for myself ( since I pull out pieces of my front hair line), to also accepting the progressive decline, but ultimately learning to live with my situation to where it no longer controlled me. That included being honest about my hair loss, and wig wearing with those around me.

I am 40, and started losing my hair at 21. My entire 20’s and some of my 30’s were lost to tears of hopelessness. It’s the whole reason I started the Women’s Hair Loss Project in 2007. It was the bottom of my bottom and there just wasn’t anyone out there online at the time for women, speaking about women’s hair loss, or at least no one I found that spoke to me and my situation, or at least could relate to (and definitely not in 1999 at the beginning of my hair loss) and I just felt alone, utterly alone. [click to continue…]





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Post image for Women’s Hair Loss Event Update !

Women’s Hair Loss Event Update !

by Y on October 12, 2017

On Sunday October 8th, I co-hosted a women’s hair loss event with Sophie Hafner. Neither of us knew what to expect, we just knew we had a date, a venue, wine, cheese & hair 🙂 We also didn’t know if it would just be me and her eating the cheese and playing with the hair lol.

I also got my new Follea “Chic” wig on Sunday and it’s amazing.  It’s seen in the pics below and also on my Facebook page.  I’ll definitely be making a post about it soon.  It started as a color 6020 and Sophie did her color magic to make this beauty personalized to perfection for me.

Onwards to about the event!

Tick tock, the clock was nearing the hour, and the glasses where being set up, the wine was being opened, and it felt….exciting.  Though in reality, I knew not of who was coming, or if anyone was coming quite frankly– we did have RSVP’s, but you never know if anyone is going to show. Women did show, and it was beautiful. It was the next level of connection needed, and a long time coming. [click to continue…]





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Women, Hair, Wine & Care !

by Y on September 21, 2017

Sunday, October 8th, 4-6pm @ Salon Republic, Beverly Hills

I am honored to be co-hosting a women’s hair loss event with my girl, Sophie Hafner. It’s been a long time coming, much needed, and I’m super excited. The event will be held at her studio in Beverly Hills.

It’s a well known fact to me, by personal experience that healing comes from connecting with others who understand. My medium for this has been through online communications of my site, emails, and social media… but there IS more, the power of in-person connection.

This event brings together this new dynamic and I think it will be absolutely beautiful and wonderful to meet everyone who attends.
You never can tell what the attendance of any event will be, and especially one dealing with hair loss, but it doesn’t matter if only one person comes or 50, the connection will be there. Even admsit the struggles that hair loss brings, I am absolutely positive there will be much laughter and smiles, there may be tears, but tears are healing too.

I very much look forward to meeting all who attend!

As always, much love to all !
Xoxo
Y





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