The journey to finding the right type of alternative hair for yourself takes time, whether it’s a topper or a wig. Much of this will not only be determined by our level of hair loss, but also our comfort level.
Often times I get asked if I jumped right into wearing Follea (the brand of wigs I wear) or if I tried other methods of alternative hair/ or brands. I definitely tried several other things over the years and had what I called many “Failed Starts,” where I’d get an item of alternative hair, find it was a total failure for whatever reason, and then I’d give up for YEARS. I definitely did not accept my hair loss easily and certainly didn’t accept hair wearing easily. My first failed start to wearing alternative hair dates back to 2001 (hair loss began in 1999) and I did’t start wearing hair full time till 2012.
In episode 3 of The Women’s Hair Loss Project podcast I discuss a couple of my “failed starts” throughout the years, and share the importance of being patient with yourself when attempting to wear hair for the first time or finding the right piece for you.
If you don’t know who the beautiful Sophie Hafner is, then you probably don’t follow me on Instagram or Facebook, because she’s in a lot of those pictures. Not only is this amazing person the only person I have entrusted with my wig wearing life ( new wig selection, color, cut, style) for the last 5 years, but she’s also become a best friend of mine.
Sophie shares my vision and passion for helping women with hair loss, and has always risen to the occasion when I’ve asked her to assist me in carrying out a concept/project to de-stigmitize women’s hair loss and show women how good wigs can really look. Including the concept we have done twice, which is hair twinning, and I mean with a person not wearing a wig (her).
This detailed project required her to actually, not only color my wigs pink, but hers as well! [View Sneak Pink Post] We later revisited it this concept with her transforming one of my wigs into a red head, to match hers. The “Whose Wearing a Wig?” Images were so amazing, that at times people guessed she was the one in a wig. Proof positive you can look and feel as amazing as everyone else while wearing hair. The hair artistry required to do this is something that I’m still blown away by.
In part 1 of this 2 part episode, we discuss the consultation process as well as the technical aspects of wigs, including:
Part One
-Wigs vs. Toppers
-Adjusting to Wearing Hair by Learning To Treat It Like Your Own Hair
-Lace Front vs Closed Front (How to Choose)
-The Follea Gripper – What Type of Hair Loss Is Best Suited For This Wig?
-Sizing of Wigs
-Handtied vs. Wefted (open wefts/ closed wefts)
-French Top/ Natural Skin Top vs Lace Top
-Coloring Your Wigs
-Styling, How To Achieve Volume and Bounce in Your Wigs [click to continue…]
In 2016, with a crew of people involved, we filmed footage aimed towards destigmatizing women’s hair loss, to bring forward more awareness and understanding for women dealing with this devastating disorder – with the respect it deserves and love and compassion. Sadly, life threw me in many directions and I have never been able to have the time to work on releasing the footage. No time like the present. The content is never old, because hair loss is affecting someone every single day. Tomorrow, someone is going to wake up having to deal with this affliction.
In this segment I titled “Crippled With Hair loss” I discuss my lowest point of my hair loss, and also the deals or pacts I used to want to make with God, if I would be granted the reprieve of my hair falling out and having it grow back in. It will sound shocking to many people I know, but there was a time, that I often thought I’d easily swap my breasts or a kidney, for my hair. This is how deeply I, personally… was impacted, and it was a no brainer for me, since I could not see ANY life beyond hair loss.
I realize that sounds insane to many many people, but it is not insane to the person who is living in a prison of self loathing, despair and deep depression. Right now I’m imagining people wanting to slap me for saying that, but trust me when I say, it hurts to admit that, or know that’s how dark it got for me. I put this out there, because I do want women who feel this way to know, they aren’t alone. They aren’t crazy… and if you’ve seen the place I’ve reached in my own journey today, you will know… there is hope.
Now, thankfully I no longer have those thoughts anymore, and I would definitely not swap my breasts, kidneys or my toes for my hair. Now my hair comes out of a box and gets colored while I’m not even present. We can adapt and change.
For quite sometime I’ve wanted to do a podcast for The Women’s Hair Loss Project, to hear (not just read) the stories of other women and to provide another medium for women to connect. Life happens, and then nothing happens [face palm] it seems, but it’s here… finally, and I’m super excited to share the first episode with you.
I met my first guest, Ashley on Instagram not too long ago, and side note, if you didn’t know A ) I’m not dead and B ) I do have an Instagram account (@whlpnetwork), both seem to be a mystery to some who followed me years and ago and then I fell off them map. See above regarding “Life Happens,” but I digress.
I had answered a question sent to me by Ashley via posting a video response on Instagram and to my surprise she replied back via a YouTube video response. It was definitely a first for me, as many women have written over the years, but I can’t ever recall ever receiving a personal YouTube video response. As she went on to share more of her own story in her video, I felt an immediate connection to her dealing with hair loss at such a young age – starting at 23 and she’s now 28. [click to continue…]
My own hair loss situation, has evolved greatly over the years. Mostly, in how I dealt with it.
Adapted. Accepted. From cutting off most of my hair over time, to finding a short style to work to provide optimal hair wearing results for myself ( since I pull out pieces of my front hair line), to also accepting the progressive decline, but ultimately learning to live with my situation to where it no longer controlled me. That included being honest about my hair loss, and wig wearing with those around me.
I am 40, and started losing my hair at 21. My entire 20’s and some of my 30’s were lost to tears of hopelessness. It’s the whole reason I started the Women’s Hair Loss Project in 2007. It was the bottom of my bottom and there just wasn’t anyone out there online at the time for women, speaking about women’s hair loss, or at least no one I found that spoke to me and my situation, or at least could relate to (and definitely not in 1999 at the beginning of my hair loss) and I just felt alone, utterly alone. [click to continue…]
I think one of the biggest concerns women have, in any state of their relationship when dealing with hair loss and wearing hair is… acceptance and understanding – of their situation, of themselves. Will my partner accept me? Will my future partner accept me? How am I going to date with a wig? What about being intimate? The questions are endless.
I had the pleasure to sit down with Alex Hafner to discuss his perspective on this topic. He’s seen first hand my own wig wearing, met me with hair and then I just took it off (pretty typical for me), no warning. Just taking it off now. Everyone act natural. Pretty much, like that. I’ve readjusted (off and on) my wig in public restroom, wig swapped on a plane, and my hair was passed down the aisle of the plane to a woman that was interested in the whole thing, and quite fascinated to learn more. Basically, when I’m done with my wig, it’s coming off and whoever is around just better be prepared, or not… doesn’t matter much to me at this point. It’s just part of me and my existence and life style.
It has been my personal experience, that men don’t really mind that women wear hair, including if you tell them you are wearing hair because of hair loss. My freedom has come in acceptance of my situation, I have hair loss, I wear a wig. I gave up on wishing all my hair would return, and that this situation would somehow change. The only thing I really had control over was how I could manage and deal with this hand I’ve been dealt, and it took well over a decade of suffering and praying and crying to get to that place. I hope others get there much faster.I truly do “own” my situation, and accept it for what it is. I think that is why the response of those around me, men & women, has been so positive. Often when I get complimented on my hair, 99.9% of the time, I say, “it’a wig.” I don’t have to, but I do. Usually I’m met with disbelief and I take it one step further and have them feel, where the WiGrip sits at the nape of my head and watch their expression, the moment where they realize, I’m not joking… IT’S A WIG.Good times.[click to continue…]
On Sunday October 8th, I co-hosted a women’s hair loss event with Sophie Hafner. Neither of us knew what to expect, we just knew we had a date, a venue, wine, cheese & hair We also didn’t know if it would just be me and her eating the cheese and playing with the hair lol.
I also got my new Follea “Chic” wig on Sunday and it’s amazing. It’s seen in the pics below and also on my Facebook page. I’ll definitely be making a post about it soon. It started as a color 6020 and Sophie did her color magic to make this beauty personalized to perfection for me.
Onwards to about the event!
Tick tock, the clock was nearing the hour, and the glasses where being set up, the wine was being opened, and it felt….exciting. Though in reality, I knew not of who was coming, or if anyone was coming quite frankly– we did have RSVP’s, but you never know if anyone is going to show. Women did show, and it was beautiful. It was the next level of connection needed, and a long time coming. [click to continue…]
Sunday, October 8th, 4-6pm @ Salon Republic, Beverly Hills
I am honored to be co-hosting a women’s hair loss event with my girl, Sophie Hafner. It’s been a long time coming, much needed, and I’m super excited. The event will be held at her studio in Beverly Hills.
It’s a well known fact to me, by personal experience that healing comes from connecting with others who understand. My medium for this has been through online communications of my site, emails, and social media… but there IS more, the power of in-person connection.
This event brings together this new dynamic and I think it will be absolutely beautiful and wonderful to meet everyone who attends.
You never can tell what the attendance of any event will be, and especially one dealing with hair loss, but it doesn’t matter if only one person comes or 50, the connection will be there. Even admsit the struggles that hair loss brings, I am absolutely positive there will be much laughter and smiles, there may be tears, but tears are healing too.
I very much look forward to meeting all who attend!
I recently had a conversation I hadn’t had in quite sometime, where I tried to explain to a friend about why hair loss affected/affects me, why it’s not just a nothing issue, even if you can throw on hair and wear a wig, ultimately why it impacts women so much.
I made this video to discuss this topic, but also to open the topic up for dicussion to others, to share how it affected/affects you and how you are dealing and have dealt with it.
I started to loose my hair in 1999, and began the process of acceptance after starting to wear hair in 2012. That’s a long time to sit in the pits of depression, despair and helplessness and watching myself evaporate before my very eyes. So clearly, hair loss matters. It’s a big deal, and so often it’s hard to get our friends and family to truly understand that this is ripping us apart, tearing us to pieces and leaving us simply a former shell of ourselves.
I am speaking for myself of course, but I have interacted with enough women to know this has not only been my experience/reality/truth, but others as well.
I hope to create a healthy dialogue of sharing with each other that can not only help us relate, but also help those that don’t understand, perhaps understand US, a little bit more.
The silver lining at the end of my tunnel, is that hair loss is no longer my master, my controller or my destroyer. I took back control. I only wish I had been able to do it sooner and not lost so many years of my life. I am always hoping that I can help just one other woman suffer a bit less than I ever did, and to know that hope exists.
The video is long, so if you can made it through the whole thing, congrats! LOL
I came into Sophie’s salon today because I need a change, my life is changing, and I feel my hair needs one too. I have this gorgeous Follea wig that was formerly a 5010, and she’s been beautifully colored already once before, and banged… However, as I’ve evolved over the years in life and in hair wearing, so has what I want out of my wig hair wearing experience. I’m much more explorative and adventurous. I have found you need to get a little dirty to get a little more beautiful. That probably makes no sense, but I was always very vanilla with my hair needs, but working with my girl Sophie Hafner, has leveled up what I thought could be possible. So here I sit, with a wig and bangs, and feeing I need a little something something.
While my life has been in flux and ever changing, I want you to know, I’m still here…. hair loss took away my life for a long time, but in return it gave me so much more. I have found love, friendship, and you, all of you.
In my spirit of gratitude and feeling thankful, i want to thank all of you amazing women who have supported me, without the love and support of the Women’s Hair Loss Project, I wouldn’t be able to be where I am today. While some people say I gave them life and hope again, you gave me life and hope. Mad props always to Follea who let me feel like myself again, and for eventually finding my sister for another mister, Miss… Sophie Hafner… can I formerly thank you hair loss. Like thanks. I thought my world was over, but I didn’t know at the time when I was 21 (I’m 39) that my journey was really just beginning.
I want to first write that I am not a fan of hair transplants for women, I personally
think that most women with androgenetic alopecia are NOT candidates for
this procedure. Having said that, I get emailed all the time from women looking
for a good hair transplant surgeon.
If you are deadset on having a consultation, please visit the International Alliance
of Hair Restoration Surgeons. The IAHRS (http://www.iahrs.org)
is an organization that selectively screens skilled and ethical hair transplant
surgeons. Read
my thoughts about hair transplants here.
The journey to finding the right type of alternative hair for yourself takes time, whether it’s a topper or a wig. Much of this will not only be determined by our level of hair loss, but also our comfort level.
If you don’t know who the beautiful Sophie Hafner is, then you probably don’t follow me on 
In 2016, with a crew of people involved, we filmed footage aimed towards destigmatizing women’s hair loss, to bring forward more awareness and understanding for women dealing with this devastating disorder – with the respect it deserves and love and compassion. Sadly, life threw me in many directions and I have never been able to have the time to work on releasing the footage. No time like the present. The content is never old, because hair loss is affecting someone every single day. Tomorrow, someone is going to wake up having to deal with this affliction.
For quite sometime I’ve wanted to do a podcast for The Women’s Hair Loss Project, to hear (not just read) the stories of other women and to provide another medium for women to connect. Life happens, and then nothing happens [face palm] it seems, but it’s here… finally, and I’m super excited to share the first episode with you.
Reflected. Reflect. Reflections.
I think one of the biggest concerns women have, in any state of their relationship when dealing with hair loss and wearing hair is… acceptance and understanding – of their situation, of themselves. Will my partner accept me? Will my future partner accept me? How am I going to date with a wig? What about being intimate? The questions are endless.
We also didn’t know if it would just be me and her eating the cheese and playing with the hair lol.
