My own hair loss situation, has evolved greatly over the years. Mostly, in how I dealt with it.
Adapted. Accepted. From cutting off most of my hair over time, to finding a short style to work to provide optimal hair wearing results for myself ( since I pull out pieces of my front hair line), to also accepting the progressive decline, but ultimately learning to live with my situation to where it no longer controlled me. That included being honest about my hair loss, and wig wearing with those around me.
I am 40, and started losing my hair at 21. My entire 20’s and some of my 30’s were lost to tears of hopelessness. It’s the whole reason I started the Women’s Hair Loss Project in 2007. It was the bottom of my bottom and there just wasn’t anyone out there online at the time for women, speaking about women’s hair loss, or at least no one I found that spoke to me and my situation, or at least could relate to (and definitely not in 1999 at the beginning of my hair loss) and I just felt alone, utterly alone. [click to continue…]
I think one of the biggest concerns women have, in any state of their relationship when dealing with hair loss and wearing hair is… acceptance and understanding – of their situation, of themselves. Will my partner accept me? Will my future partner accept me? How am I going to date with a wig? What about being intimate? The questions are endless.
I had the pleasure to sit down with Alex Hafner to discuss his perspective on this topic. He’s seen first hand my own wig wearing, met me with hair and then I just took it off (pretty typical for me), no warning. Just taking it off now. Everyone act natural. Pretty much, like that. I’ve readjusted (off and on) my wig in public restroom, wig swapped on a plane, and my hair was passed down the aisle of the plane to a woman that was interested in the whole thing, and quite fascinated to learn more. Basically, when I’m done with my wig, it’s coming off and whoever is around just better be prepared, or not… doesn’t matter much to me at this point. It’s just part of me and my existence and life style.
It has been my personal experience, that men don’t really mind that women wear hair, including if you tell them you are wearing hair because of hair loss. My freedom has come in acceptance of my situation, I have hair loss, I wear a wig. I gave up on wishing all my hair would return, and that this situation would somehow change. The only thing I really had control over was how I could manage and deal with this hand I’ve been dealt, and it took well over a decade of suffering and praying and crying to get to that place. I hope others get there much faster.I truly do “own” my situation, and accept it for what it is. I think that is why the response of those around me, men & women, has been so positive. Often when I get complimented on my hair, 99.9% of the time, I say, “it’a wig.” I don’t have to, but I do. Usually I’m met with disbelief and I take it one step further and have them feel, where the WiGrip sits at the nape of my head and watch their expression, the moment where they realize, I’m not joking… IT’S A WIG.Good times.[click to continue…]
Apple Photos has a section called “Memories” and it came up with a bunch of photos and the word “Together” on it. It was a collection of photos of my past year, between me and my girl, Sophie. It was cute, and brought a smile to me and I realized (or came to more realize) in the “review” of memories, the beauty of friendship, the power of friendship…. how connection can drive and push us beyond our own limitations. So this is just a fun collection of photos, I’m sharing… through various states (quite literally), some candid, some professional, but always authentic.
On Sunday October 8th, I co-hosted a women’s hair loss event with Sophie Hafner. Neither of us knew what to expect, we just knew we had a date, a venue, wine, cheese & hair We also didn’t know if it would just be me and her eating the cheese and playing with the hair lol.
I also got my new Follea “Chic” wig on Sunday and it’s amazing. It’s seen in the pics below and also on my Facebook page. I’ll definitely be making a post about it soon. It started as a color 6020 and Sophie did her color magic to make this beauty personalized to perfection for me.
Onwards to about the event!
Tick tock, the clock was nearing the hour, and the glasses where being set up, the wine was being opened, and it felt….exciting. Though in reality, I knew not of who was coming, or if anyone was coming quite frankly– we did have RSVP’s, but you never know if anyone is going to show. Women did show, and it was beautiful. It was the next level of connection needed, and a long time coming. [click to continue…]
Sunday, October 8th, 4-6pm @ Salon Republic, Beverly Hills
I am honored to be co-hosting a women’s hair loss event with my girl, Sophie Hafner. It’s been a long time coming, much needed, and I’m super excited. The event will be held at her studio in Beverly Hills.
It’s a well known fact to me, by personal experience that healing comes from connecting with others who understand. My medium for this has been through online communications of my site, emails, and social media… but there IS more, the power of in-person connection.
This event brings together this new dynamic and I think it will be absolutely beautiful and wonderful to meet everyone who attends.
You never can tell what the attendance of any event will be, and especially one dealing with hair loss, but it doesn’t matter if only one person comes or 50, the connection will be there. Even admsit the struggles that hair loss brings, I am absolutely positive there will be much laughter and smiles, there may be tears, but tears are healing too.
I very much look forward to meeting all who attend!
I recently had a conversation I hadn’t had in quite sometime, where I tried to explain to a friend about why hair loss affected/affects me, why it’s not just a nothing issue, even if you can throw on hair and wear a wig, ultimately why it impacts women so much.
I made this video to discuss this topic, but also to open the topic up for dicussion to others, to share how it affected/affects you and how you are dealing and have dealt with it.
I started to loose my hair in 1999, and began the process of acceptance after starting to wear hair in 2012. That’s a long time to sit in the pits of depression, despair and helplessness and watching myself evaporate before my very eyes. So clearly, hair loss matters. It’s a big deal, and so often it’s hard to get our friends and family to truly understand that this is ripping us apart, tearing us to pieces and leaving us simply a former shell of ourselves.
I am speaking for myself of course, but I have interacted with enough women to know this has not only been my experience/reality/truth, but others as well.
I hope to create a healthy dialogue of sharing with each other that can not only help us relate, but also help those that don’t understand, perhaps understand US, a little bit more.
The silver lining at the end of my tunnel, is that hair loss is no longer my master, my controller or my destroyer. I took back control. I only wish I had been able to do it sooner and not lost so many years of my life. I am always hoping that I can help just one other woman suffer a bit less than I ever did, and to know that hope exists.
The video is long, so if you can made it through the whole thing, congrats! LOL
I came into Sophie’s salon today because I need a change, my life is changing, and I feel my hair needs one too. I have this gorgeous Follea wig that was formerly a 5010, and she’s been beautifully colored already once before, and banged… However, as I’ve evolved over the years in life and in hair wearing, so has what I want out of my wig hair wearing experience. I’m much more explorative and adventurous. I have found you need to get a little dirty to get a little more beautiful. That probably makes no sense, but I was always very vanilla with my hair needs, but working with my girl Sophie Hafner, has leveled up what I thought could be possible. So here I sit, with a wig and bangs, and feeing I need a little something something.
While my life has been in flux and ever changing, I want you to know, I’m still here…. hair loss took away my life for a long time, but in return it gave me so much more. I have found love, friendship, and you, all of you.
In my spirit of gratitude and feeling thankful, i want to thank all of you amazing women who have supported me, without the love and support of the Women’s Hair Loss Project, I wouldn’t be able to be where I am today. While some people say I gave them life and hope again, you gave me life and hope. Mad props always to Follea who let me feel like myself again, and for eventually finding my sister for another mister, Miss… Sophie Hafner… can I formerly thank you hair loss. Like thanks. I thought my world was over, but I didn’t know at the time when I was 21 (I’m 39) that my journey was really just beginning.
I’m way over due for life updates. Forgive me, this year went zip zip. I will be back with more on me.
This past week, while everyone was prepping their Thanksgiving day dinner, I met up with a group of amazing people to start a project towards de-stigmatizing hair loss and hair wearing for women. As odd as this may sound, through hair loss I have found love and friendship, I have found a greater self acceptance of myself that I never knew I could ever achieve, and the ability to connect with others who are like me. I have found the perfection in imperfection, mostly 😉
The day of the photoshoot, I woke up with a major rosacea breakout. Perfect skin the day prior and the day of it looked like Mike Tyson punched me in the face, I was swollen with a rash all over my face. I was icing my face at 4am. The photoshoot began at 7am. This on the heels of already accepting I wasn’t going to be whatever vision of scale perfection I had in mind, thanks to my new anti depressant keeping my body in a fluffier state. Lights, camera… holy crap, but a lot of time, planning, effort and money went into this and I wasn’t going to back out. The old (younger version) of me would have totally backed out and flushed it all down the drain (I’ve grown leaps and bounds), but jacked up face and all I knew this wasn’t about me. This was about helping women, it didn’t matter what was going on, on my physical being, that reality was more important… by far. [click to continue…]
EEEK (in a good way) my hair is pink! Well, pinkie purple The story behind this concept for the entire photoshoot (as a whole) that I shot last Monday, is longer than this post will delve into, but… I wanted to share a few of the pics with everyone because I was so excited with how they came out! Concept in short form for this photoset, all things being equal… Two girlfriends, same sunglasses, same jacket, same tank top and even same exact pants, nearly same color hair, could you tell who is wearing hair in the photo?Would you even think either one was wearing hair? Since all of you know me, it won’t be hard to pick me out of the photos, but if you didn’t, and objectively looked at this picture, could you really tell? In some of the photos, you’ll notice that somewhere along the way my tank top got lost, but I swear I had one when the shoot started! LOL
What I realized in the days following hanging out with one of my girlfriends (Sophie) who has tons of her own hair, was that my hair was on par with looking as good as hers. Our texting back and forth sharing selfies of the nights prior from when we went out, were about just us and reminiscing on the fun… not my hair, but for some reason one day, that stood out to me… like, hey, my hair looks as good as hers, I told her about that… and she replied, “Actually, sometimes I think it looks better.”
I wanted to capture and illustrate the beauty of wearing hair.[click to continue…]
I reflect back on my hair loss journey, and if you asked the 21 year old scared girl beginning to loose her hair in 1999, if she could ever imagine life with and after hair loss, she (me) would have said, “NO” and then cried uncontrollably… as I always used to do… daily. Impossible to process, and yet here I am. I’ll be 38 years old in 2 months and this affliction stole over a decade of my life. I am not making use of hyperbole when I say that. My 20’s came and went, and all I had were memories of devastation and a complete feeling of being helpless, powerless and destined to exist in a state of forever suffering. Paralyzing.
I’ve written a tremendous amount on my blog about my hair loss, finding my acceptance… removing the shackles of hair loss and taking back my life. This change came for me in 2012 when I started wearing hair and realizing, that while not perfect in the respect that it’s not growing out of my head… it was perfect enough. I could go out and portray myself to the world, as I wanted to be seen (the way I looked before my hair loss) and feel good about myself again. It was a process, it took time. I cut my hair super short (buzzed in back, long in front) so I didn’t have to see my hair fall out anymore and I could have a cute edgy hair cut that I could wear, one where people would think I just was just so bold to wear a style like that, not knowing I do it out absolute necessity. Since my hair loss began when I was so young I never really got the opportunity to do anything fun with my hair… cuts, colors and styles etc., was not an option. I was just praying it stopped falling out. [click to continue…]
I want to first write that I am not a fan of hair transplants for women, I personally
think that most women with androgenetic alopecia are NOT candidates for
this procedure. Having said that, I get emailed all the time from women looking
for a good hair transplant surgeon.
If you are deadset on having a consultation, please visit the International Alliance
of Hair Restoration Surgeons. The IAHRS (http://www.iahrs.org)
is an organization that selectively screens skilled and ethical hair transplant
surgeons. Read
my thoughts about hair transplants here.
Reflected. Reflect. Reflections.
I think one of the biggest concerns women have, in any state of their relationship when dealing with hair loss and wearing hair is… acceptance and understanding – of their situation, of themselves. Will my partner accept me? Will my future partner accept me? How am I going to date with a wig? What about being intimate? The questions are endless.
We also didn’t know if it would just be me and her eating the cheese and playing with the hair lol.
I’m way over due for life updates. Forgive me, this year went zip zip. I will be back with more on me.
EEEK (in a good way) my hair is pink! Well, pinkie purple 
I reflect back on my hair loss journey, and if you asked the 21 year old scared girl beginning to loose her hair in 1999, if she could ever imagine life with and after hair loss, she (me) would have said, “NO” and then cried uncontrollably… as I always used to do… daily. Impossible to process, and yet here I am. I’ll be 38 years old in 2 months and this affliction stole over a decade of my life. I am not making use of hyperbole when I say that. My 20’s came and went, and all I had were memories of devastation and a complete feeling of being helpless, powerless and destined to exist in a state of forever suffering. Paralyzing.
