After 24 years of hair loss I had to shave my head this past May, it was weighing too much on me, and taking too much of a toll on mental health.

Something I did not account for, was that my clothes would look “off” with a shaved head, the balance thrown off. Often left feeling like just a blob, or my head looks too small, or too big depending on what I’m wearing.

In this video I show my purchases I recently made, that I think work both, with a shaved and my wig, and I show how it looks with and without hair. I need to continue to look for items of clothing that will favorably work with my shaved head, so I can have more than a bunch of the same shirt to wear 🙂 It is just something I did not anticipate when shaving my head, that my clothes would look uncomfortably different, than when I even had my short hair loss bio hair cut.

Not that it would have altered my decision to shave my head, I very much needed to do that for my mental health in dealing with hair loss, but I might have been better prepared for that if I knew ahead of time.

I had a couple things that I felt comfortable and confident in, that I felt worked with the shaved head AND my wigs, and so I bought several of the same “type” of things from Rag & Bone, not much variety, my style skills are limited anyways, so I am sticking with what I know. Living with hair loss takes time, and it does require us to evolve as our hair loss evolves, and adapt.


I hate change, anyone that knows me knows how badly I hate change, much more than the average person. I like consistency, control, I like perfection, to a fault, to the point it actually hurts and drives my body mad, a visceral response. 

Imagine needing everything to be in order, nothing out of place, and I mean with the dumbest stuff you can think of, and then your hair falls out. Hair loss has to be ranking at the top of one of the most disordered afflictions. The only thing sure in this process is that my hair will forever fall out, my hair loss Is progressive. I cannot control this. 
I cannot control my wigs, I cannot make them perfect, because no perfect wig exists. I could never get exactly the same wig as I had the time before when I found one I loved, because each wig was different, even within the same manufacturer, even within the same line. This is not a t shirt, there is human intervention and trust me I see the differences in the same shirt or sweater I purchase from the same place, even those are sometimes never exact. 

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It’s been almost 6 months since I shaved my head due to getting a 2nd hair loss last year, which was in addition to the 24 year old female pattern baldness I have had since I was 21 years old.

I am adjusting and adapting. It still isn’t something I love, but I do love I did the thing I needed to do, to move forward in my hair loss life. In this video I share my thoughts on why I needed to shave my head, and what it has done for me, as well as some thoughts on learning to live with hair loss.

Hair loss is hard, it’s a process to learn to accept and evolve and find our way, but there is a way to live with hair loss, to not have it rule your life. This I know.


I have worn wigs for 11 years, due to female pattern baldness,  and from the start I have used a Wig Grip, to secure my wig on my head. I have no idea how I would have kept my wig on, if not for a grip because I couldn’t use clips or combs.  The grip is a velour band that keeps the wig on with friction. 

In this video I discuss the wig grip and important considerations for the best outcome, which include proper placement and awareness of the grip, including knowing when it’s slipping.  If the grip slips the wig will slip with it.   When in doubt on a long day wear, I always err on the side of caution and redo the grip and wig, so I know it’s going to be completely secure. 

In the 11 years I have worn wigs, I have never once had my wig fall off, and I’ve been in the back of a convertible down the 405 freeway, wig all up in my face, (but not falling off, just the hair all over the place),  though I doubt I’d do that present day to test the limits of my grip, but I did early on in my wig wearing years. 

In this video I also show how I put my wig on, and style if on a day to day basis for it to looks and feel it’s best for me. 

Hope this helps. xoxo


It’s Okay To Just Be… You

by Y on October 16, 2023

My whole life, I’ve been told to “smile.” Smile more. You’ll be prettier if you smile. It always made me feel bad, because this was my face naturally, how it wanted to be, how it rested. But it felt not enough.  like how I look when I’m not smiling. Pensive. I am a pensive person, that’s much different than sad. 

People assume all sorts of things in life, they assume if you aren’t grinning from ear to ear, or you face isn’t naturally resting in a smile, that something is wrong. 

They assume if you are grinning ear to ear, your life is grand. Neither is necessarily true, or both are true. 

Assumptions in hair loss. You have a wig, well you should be fine, what are you upset about? Other than the loss of our actual hair you mean? Throwing on a wig was life changing, it didn’t solve having to work to accept my evolving look as my hair thinned over the years, the knowing it was final. 

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Nov 2022 I was diagnosed with a second type of hair loss, an inflammatory alopecia. This was in addition to the 24 year old female pattern baldness I have had since I was 21 years old. I knew this was different, it did not behave at all like my hair loss did the previous 2 decades of my life, so I went to try and seek out what could be the cause and received that diagnosis. 

Inflammatory, autoimmune related hair loss is a completely different type of hair loss than androgenetic alopecia (female pattern baldness) and the treatments associated with it are different as well. 

There are two (lesser known) things that are available for *potentially* being of benefit, to those dealing with autoimmune, inflammatory hair loss type situations, and I wanted to share those, because I don’t see them widely being discussed or referenced.

**Please note I am not a doctor, this is just what my understanding is of all of this information, always consult with your own doctor. 

1) Antihistamines – This was surprising to me, but I guess in an inflammatory alopecia the goal is to bring down the overall inflammation of the body, with the end goal of hoping that it helps turn the ship around. I was told to take Zyrtec at night and Allergra in the morning. Although no prescription is required for this, you should always discuss what you plan on doing with your doctor as there could be medication interactions or perhaps in your case it wouldn’t be good for your overall health in general. 

2) Naltrexone – which is primary used as an opioid blocker to help those dealing with substance addiction, it has also been found to be useful in LOW doses, for autoimmune conditions. Referred to as LDN (Low Dose Naltrexone). I take 3mg and I get it from a compound pharmacy, prescription is required for this. 

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It’s not been a good day, I managed to type just that before I start crying. From that I want people to understand how painful hair loss can be, I only wrote “It’s not been a good day,” and the tears poured out of my face, and all at once I’m flooded with emotion.

It’s been so long so long, well before 2022, that I had these feelings to contend with… like this. After I started wearing wigs in 2012, I cut my hair short to an edgy cut that looked like a choice, though it was for functional purposes to look fuller, hide the thinness, see less of the fall and it made wig wearing easier. I adapted. Fully adapted and I lived my life mostly free of hair loss for over a decade.

Getting a second hair loss last year has truly devastated me in what words probably never ever fully capture. It’s disbelief, of how lightening can strike twice, how I could have had to struggle so much in my life with this, then find my way, and then been thrown this, another type of hair loss, one that changes everything I did from the wigs that I wore, to no longer being able to have that short hair cut that I accepted and felt okay in.

Many people don’t understand I lost the frame of my face, the way my hair line used to be, the one thing female pattern baldness never took was these little baby hairs on my forehead, they didn’t help much of anything other than being my trademark thing I saw, since birth, and what felt like me.

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Join me as I attempt to shave my head properly, in a manner that hopefully helps prevent my folliculitis from re-flaring. I began shaving my head May 7, 2023, due to getting a 2nd hair loss (inflammatory alopecia), on top of my 24 year old female pattern baldness. It got really bad, and I reached a point I could no longer look at myself. Shaving my head has been a challenge on multiple levels, beyond the practical aspect of just having a shaved head (which isn’t ideal), and adjusting to that, I got folliculitis, which I had to treat for 3 weeks with 200mg Doxycycline, Clindamycin 2x a day, T/sal Shampoo and 10% Benzoyl Peroxide.

I also discuss some of the struggles I have faced including some frustrating judgment and commentary from others. I explain why I did this, what it gives me, and that I also don’t see wearing my wigs, as a cover up. Replacing the hair I lost, isn’t vanity or hiding, for me it’s reattaching a limb that has been fading away since I was 21 years old. It completes me, it makes me whole, and we all deserve to feel whole.


Healing In Hair Loss

by Y on September 30, 2023

Healing. Allow yourself time, in all this to cry, to be upset, to accept the unexplained emotions of chaos at times, to scream, to meltdown. Allow yourself the ability to grieve. Within that have hope that this moment can pass from beyond the pain of which you are in.

It can.

Don’t allow others to rob you of your feelings, to make you feel less than or vain, or stupid for feeling downright devastated by the loss, a loss that I don’t think anyone can comprehend unless it’s happened to them.

I took this picture and I see my age – Drier skin, wrinkles, the dark circles I always had since I was born, raccoon eyes. The signs of aging doesn’t bother me, I’m 45. What bothers me is that I lost so much of life to hair loss, 13 years really spent in a deep struggle before I started wearing wigs at 34. I will never get back that time, and I wish I could get a do over, with the mindset of NOW. My life would look very different, hair loss and all.

Hair loss is awful, I’ll never state otherwise, but it wasn’t worth losing years of my life over. At the age of 21 I didn’t know how to cope, at all, with any of this. I couldn’t process a future. What I didn’t know then, that I wish I did, was that I could make it work in a non perfect way, but still in a way that I would allow me to feel good and live my life. I wish I would have accepted sooner. The denial kept me struggling, the denial kept me in pain.

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I shaved my head May 7, 2023, due to a second hair loss I got last year, an Inflammatory alopecia. I have had female pattern baldness (androgenetic alopecia) for 24 years, since the age of 21.

Podcast Episode and YouTube Links Below

I began wearing wigs 11 years ago at the age of 34.

I never expected to get a second hair loss, I never thought I’d be forced to NEED to make this choice for survival, in order to be able to continue to live with hair loss without it stealing any more of my life from me. 

I don’t love this, I don’t love seeing myself with a shaved head, but it is better than the alternative, it is better than the creaturish loss that was more obvious before. In the months prior to shaving, I had reached a place I could no longer look at myself in the mirror, at all. 

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I made the decision to show my shaved head, after never showing my bio hair online for 16 years (the length of time I’ve been online talking about hair loss), I started my site in 2007. I did so because it was so difficult for me to do this, basically impossible… and the one thing that did help was seeing women that had done this FOR hair loss. For that reason, and that reason alone I made the difficult decision to show my head, knowing that I would get dismissive comments about my hair loss. I knew people would see follicles and judge, that’s how it goes. It doesn’t matter if 90% of your hair is gone, or that this destroyed your life for so long, or that you devoted 16 years of your life sharing about your journey, struggles and trumps with hair loss, and trying to help others, none of that matters, people judge.

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