Where’s Your Hair & Where’s The Wig? I Don’t Get It

by admin on July 25, 2012

I am frequently asked, how far back I place my wigs and where it joins my hairline. My mom asked me this same question when I told her I was wearing a wig, she said, “where’s your hair and where’s the wig? I don’t get it.” I pulled up my hair to show where everything was, but the color of the wig and my hair are such a close match that it is still hard to demonstrate, but I wanted to give it the ol’ college try anyways. I showed an upclose shot of my wig in the video from July 1st, (Show & Tell Sunday – Video and Slideshow) but I didn’t actually lift the hairline of the wig up to show where it is placed on my head.

The beginning of this video is me attempting to show how I blend my hairline and then the last portion of the video is just more pics of me and Natalia. Yes, it seems I snap a photo of myself with my new hair whenever I get a chance, I’m so glad I got the iPhone with the extra hard drive space.. ha. I pity the thief that steals my computer and is greeted with a gazillion images of me and wigs. This IS normal right? :) As my friend BrooknixEllie says, “It’s the NEW normal.” Amen to that.

OMG I just realized I have a typo in the video, I put “WONG” Instead of “WRONG” oh well :)

{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

brooknix Ellie July 25, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Amazin!!! U should b modelin! Thanx for puttin that video out! as soon as i’m finished w college follea here i come:) at least ur new house guests r quiet and won’t eat ja outta house and home;) love ur wigs!! U found a great place! tryin to let my hair grow out some so i can try blendin the wigs like that. So usta shavin whats left, it feels weird tryin to let it grow out. It’s an odd new life 4 sure:) there’s a freedom in acceptance and peace. Amen is right!!! I let this problem rob mea so much!
Thanx, ur a blessing!

Ann July 25, 2012 at 4:44 pm

You are a rock star. You look fantastic. I’m taking a girlfriend wig shopping
soon… Is there a distributor for this wig in the NYC area?
BTW – your man is a keeper!

phillygrl July 25, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Love ,Love LOVE it !! Can’t believe there is someone like you out there willing to care enough about the rest of us when u have your problem “solved”.. getting closer to taking that plunge thanks to your “pep talks”

P.S. Marry that man!

Tania July 25, 2012 at 5:41 pm

My husband has to look at so many heads and wigs that he offered to build a shelf in our closet. Recently, we were watching a movie while I combed one of my wigs. I thought “never thought I’d be doing this.” I hope stories of men who love us just the way we are and really don’t think anything of us and our wigs, will provide hope for women who are dating or looking to date.

foreverlost July 25, 2012 at 6:05 pm

I have wanted to write to you for quite a while. I get so excited and eager when I see one of your blog postings pop up on my phone! This hair “journey” has been so draining and I have promised myself to let 2012 finally be the year when I come up with a way of ending this hell I have allowed myself to live in for over two decades! How can that even be? Enough of not living and if not this year, when, when, when… With every entry I read, inspirational story and smile I see on your face, I feel one step closer. While follea is out of my price range, I know that there are some other wigs out there that are pretty good too. I just want to say thank you so much for your selflessness in giving me, a complete stranger, hope, some laughter (you are funny) and inspiration! I hope to write a blog of my own some day but I wanted it to be of a more positive note and not one of such despair. With you and the other wonderful women on this website, I am feeling more optimistic. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You are lovely, inside and out.

admin July 26, 2012 at 9:03 am

Thank you guys for your super kind words!

@brooknix Ellie – Aww you’re zoo sweet. Thank you. No the girls don’t eat very much, they get the crumbs of whatever I’m eating (literally) whenever it falls on them. ha ha

@Ann – Thanks Ann! There is a hair replacement salon in New York that I know carries Follea, which is Alfieri: http://www.alfieri.com/ I *think* Follea is only carried by hair replacement salons and not the typical store front wigs shops, probably something that requires setting up an appointment etc. I could be wrong, I don’t know for sure, but that’s the impression I get. My man IS a keeper! He’s so supportive and wonderful.

@phillygrl – I feel so fortunate to be at the place I am today, I still have hair loss etc etc, it’s of course still falling out, bleh, but my life is 1000% times better. I’m no longer FORCED to go into the world feeling “less than” and insecure about my hair. I do feel my suffering is over, finally. I’m sure I’ll still have down times, at some point, hair loss is emotional and those feeling could come out anytime. I want women to know it’s okay to wear hair, however and whichever way you choose to want to make that happen.. wigs, toppers (clip in or bonded) etc. It CAN be life changing. I was stubborn for so long and couldn’t make this step, I felt I couldn’t *accept* wearing hair, it isn’t MINE, it isn’t growing out of my head, it would never be as good as my hair was. All those thoughts kept me standing still and waiting, waiting for what? A miracle I guess. My hair is gone and never coming back, it ditched me long ago, so why was I giving it so much undeserved reflection and admiration. My natural hair as it stands today, sucks. Period. It doesn’t bother me much to take the wigs off at night and see the crap hair below because I know I’m not a prisoner to it anymore. When I am wearing my hair, I do think “Dammm, why can’t I grow this sh*t ?”

@Tania – Your husband sounds wonderful. I don’t own that many wigs, so I don’t need any designated closet space for them yet, I just leave them standing in the middle of the bathroom, ha. I can relate to your story of combing your wigs while watching a movie… it does elicit that thought of “Never thought I’d be doing this” LOL

@foreverlost – I think it’s great you promised yourself to let 2012 be YOUR year. After I turned 34 in April, it took me forever to get to a phone to make an appointment. I’d sit there on a website, on a contact page, phone next to me, I’d dial and half way punching the numbers & hang up.. This went on for what seemed like weeks! I move like Molasses. If not this year “when” is right. That is what made me take action. Was I going to wait till I was 45, 55, 65, 75? Would I have my light bulb moment when I was in a nursing home reflecting on the life I missed out on? I missed out on my entire 20’s, I really did. I’ll never get that time back and I didn’t want to waste another day, I’m almost mid point into my 30’s – it was worrying me to think I’d loose another 13 years. I’m so glad you have found hope and inspiration here! There is HOPE. This I know.


DJ July 27, 2012 at 9:14 am

This is my first post, been reading for last 5 months. Thank you for what you do!! I’ve learned so much from you and this site and it has really helped me come to acceptance and be ok with it if/when the time happens to wear a wig.
I’m 45 and have a 10 yr old and a 4 yr old (surprise LOL) I noticed in 2008 after the dreaded post pg shed happens that it was always a little more. Never been on any meds at all besides the occasional antibiotic for a sinus infection. All my blood work is always great. But, have never had my iron checked. I am starting to have pre-menop. symptoms like hot flashes and periods go from every 28 days to sometimes 22 days. Over the last year, have the stress of my 4 yr old little guy being an active “bronco in a jumpy pit” and my FIL battling brain cancer (and passing in May) my hair won’t stop coming out when I wash. I’ve had 2 derm appts. this yr (to be told probably AGA and then it is stress and SD and to use T-sal or Nizoral) Had extensive thyroid tests in June and all in great ranges. I just dread shampooing cause I know it will be 200 hairs. Toppik, Bumble & Bumble colored dry shampoo have been my friends. Been taking extra iron for 1 month now. Been taking multi,2.5 mg Biotin Flax, Fish Oil,EPO. Eating habits this year have greatly improved and even have lost 15 pds and feel awesome being 5’4 and 145 at 45 yrs old. None of this seems to help other than making me feel healthier. Doesn’t help that the greys show every 2 wks cause that makes the wide parts worse. But, I only color the roots every 4 wks to be scalp protective. Who knows what’s going on with me…I’m 45, look 35 feel like I’m 30 and have unexplained hairloss.
Derms and family tell me I have lots of hair but when you look at the wide parts all over not so. I’ve finally accepted the fact I can be ok if I have to wear a wig. I don’t want a topper and even though I have enough to do “some clipping” in of hair pieces, I would rather wear a wig. Not at that point yet but things continuing the way they are…I think I want to have a wig on hand.

So long story short… LOL when you pulled the wig back to show how your parts match up, YOUR hair blends so nicely. That is what I want mine to do. You wear the wigrip…but do you just wear your hair down under it and is your hair shorter than your Natalia? I’m just gathering info for myself because I know what I would like to do for myself…I want to buy the wigrip because it seems like the most logical and smart solution. I don’t want to have to pin up or put a cap on my hair. But my hair is a little longer than a chin length bob and just wondering if I have to cut it shorter.

Thank you for all you do!! :)


admin July 27, 2012 at 10:01 am

Just having he knowledge that you “Can” wear a wig when the time is right is so awesome and wonderful! I’m so sorry to hear about your father in law.. you know I hate that sometimes doctors say “Stress” is making your hair fall out, I personally think the only type of stress that really makes people’s hair fall out (I’m not a doctor, it’s just my opinion) is EXTREME stress, the traumatic kind and I think the situation of a loved one battling cancer and then passing away from it, falls under that category of “extreme stress” in my book.

I don’t clip up my hair and I don’t wear a wig cap, I find both to be unnecessary for how I’m wearing my hair because my wig is VERY close in color and I don’t have a lot of natural hair on my own, it’s very thin so it does’t really add any bulk.. finally having thin hair paid off for something.. shessh. My hair is just about the same exact length as Natalia, in fact I will have to get a trim in the next couple months to keep it at that length, I don’t want it going past it too much because then my hair might be more obvious. As long as you are choosing a wig in similar color and length at least not a wig shorter than your hair, I don’t think you’d have to worry about putting your hair up underneath it. My hair is more obvious to the eye under my long wig because it almost seems like a reverse layer under there LOL, but the again since the color is such a close match and since I don’t have a ton of my own hair it works fine.

I had actually done another clip the same day I made that video above, trying to show where my hair was in relation to my wig – length wise and then I forgot to put it in, by the time I remembered the video was already upload. So I just slapped it together right now and I’m embedding it here for you.

Dj July 27, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Ahhhh….thanks so much for the post and extra video. That explains a lot. See…when you post what you do and the videos it makes it so much more peaceful and accepting for me to potentially see myself wearing a wig. I’m a very visual person :) I want to be able to let the bottom part of my hair peak out of a wig. I’ve been to a wig shop here in Tulsa,OK but it is not what I would call a “salon” but a wig shop…KWIM. So, I’m not too sure how much up to date and hair fashonable advice I’d get. So, getting this info from you and others is so helpful.

As far as the Dr.s go, in Dec. my PCP said “oh it’s stress from going through things with the FIL & the kids and my Mom having a minor surgery. Jan. went to the Derm. This is a Derm that our pediatrian, PCP, and my gyno go to–well respected. But, he said it wasn’t needed to do anything more than TSH and I just had that done month prior & it was ok. Said to try rogaine was probably AGA. Went back to him in May and looked and said since FIL just passed probably stress with some patches SD and follicles seemed to look ok. So, I went to the gyno in June for the yearly and she said “well we are just gonna have it all checked out and if it’s fine then that’s great. If not then we know what to face. So, TSH had actually gone up since Dec but at a 1 so that’s good. T3, Total T3, T4, Total T4, antibody, uptakes etc…all well within normal ranges. It took a gyno to do what I needed…not a Derm and not the PCP to be sympathetic…go figure!! I’m seriously thinking of seeing a naturopath. I would be seeing 100 dermatologists if I could till I got 2 DX the same. But my insurance only pays for 6 Dr visits per yr. I have new hairgrowth in front where bangs would be. See now sprouts on top.

I have an acceptable amount of hair on the left. I part my hair on the left and it is all the same length –no bangs and dk brown, single process(so should be easy to find a matchy wig.) I just lose most of the hair on the top (basically eyebrow circumerance around the head.) No matter how I part my hair, it’s all the same wide part/scalp look. Don’t have bald spots just thinning. I can just run my fingers loosely throught the sides and will have up to 10 hairs in my fingers with the little white balls.knubs on the end (is that TE?) I loose more hair on the right side.

My only dread of wearing a wig is being in Oklahoma, it is HOT and HUMID!!

Who knows but thanks again for what you do for us. You are so beautiful and so glad you feel comfortable enough to share your journey with us.


phillygrl July 27, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Another great,informative video. :) Wig salons would be wise to use you as a “consult”. Your short videos do us more good and make us more likely to take the “jump” than all the confusing, intimidating,non-personal websites they have. You do exactly what women like us need, just show us a REAL person wearing a REAL wig and answer questions.
Im so, so happy that you have got your life back ! I hope that I will be there someday too. I’m still like the “Y” from the earliest post you did. My hubby and my sons are at a water park right now as I sit here typing this and hiding another day in our home. Hoping I will travel this rd and come out to where you are now before its too late ! Cheers !;)
Quick question from reading old posts: Do you still take the aldactone, propecia or any hormone . If not, how was it coming off those?
Feeling like I don’t want to poison my body with bio-hormones(estrace and prometrium) and aldactone anymore if Im headed to the wiggy life anyway.
Thanks so much for being a friend to so many. You are an AWESOME chick :Dxoxo

Beth July 27, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Omg, YOU are my new hero! I was practically in tears of joy watching you in your video. I have been paralyzed with indecision on what to do about my hair cosmetically. I was thinking about doing the hair system, where they shave a ring around your head and glue a topper on the top of my head.
NOW I am going to check out Natalia and hopefully become a brand new, confident girl again. :)

Thank you again. This was truly inspiring!

Kyle July 28, 2012 at 4:38 pm

This was truly inspirig, thank you so much for sharing! You look beautiful, I just showed my husband and he could not believe you were wearing hair. I am at the place where you were at the beginning of your journey. I read the story of your hair loss that you shared on this site a while ago and can’t help it but to say ” that’s me also.” I really hope to be at the place where you are today. Thank you for this wonderful site and for giving me hope!

suki July 30, 2012 at 11:02 am

just wanted to let you know i am going for an appmt. at Follea tomorrow here in L.A….not sure it will work for me but i think it’s worth the $85.00 consultation fee. thanks for putting Follea on my radar and thanks a million times over for all you do here. i love that little smile on your face during your july 30 video—there is hope for us and for me acceptance of wearing hair is what it’s about…keep smiling!

admin July 30, 2012 at 11:44 am

Thank you guys for all your wonderful comments!

@ DJ – I’m glad the videos help, I’m that way too, very much a visual person also. I live in Los Angeles and the weather is pretty warm, but I’m indoors all day in the air conditioning so I don’t know how I would be if I was having to be all day in the heat with my wig. I haven’ experienced that yet. Based on your description of your hair I’m thinking it wouldn’t be too hard to find a color match. I have an overall thinning on my hair, no bald spots per se, just crappy ol’ androgenetic alopecia.

@phillygrl – I’m glad that you are finding the videos helpful too! I know what I would have liked to have seen when I was trying to muster up the courage to wear hair and learn more about it, so I’m “trying” to provide some of that. I do still take the Aldactone and the Orthotricylen unfortunately, and that is actually a post I want to write – dealing with my concerns in getting of the meds and my plan of action to do so.

@Beth – I think it’s just good to know we have “options” Lots of gals love doing the bonded thing and it works well for them, I just could take that step, I feel lucky that I was able to smack myself into acceptance of wearing wigs and realizing there is nothing wrong with, I feel good about it now. I know all about being paralyzed to make a move or decision to do something towards wearing hair. I’m excited for you that you want to look into some wigs yourself! Let me know how things go!

@Kyle – It takes time and I think we need to be patient with ourselves. I know I’ve been very hard on myself over the years about not acting sooner on my behalf to try and help myself not feel like such crap all the time. But it wasn’t the right time then, everything happens in it’s own time, but sometimes we have to give ourselves that extra nudge (or kick in the ass) out the door or to pick up a phone. I’ve been to the depths of hair loss hell, unable to function in life, glued to the couch or under the covers… I never thought I could be okay with wearing a wig and be where I am today with my acceptance of it. I’m glad I got over myself and my worries and concerns that “It’s not MY hair” Well ya know what “F My hair” my hair sucks, I gave it to much undeserved admiration for far too long LOL – Yes it was great in all the years prior to 21, but I like to talk to MY hair and use the words of Janet Jackson and say “What have you done for me lately?” nada zip zero zilch. Just a fluffy frizzy thin follicular mess. The wigs do far more for me than MY hair.

@Suki – Oh Yay! Please let us know how your appointment at Follea goes tomorrow! I’m so excited for you. Vicka & Geena are awesome! It’s located in a really nice area with a lot of restaurants, the chinese food place that’s practically next door is sooooooo good! I’m still thinking about the food from there. There is hope for all of us, yes, yes yes indeed.


mh August 10, 2012 at 11:06 am

Do anyone of you know where to buy natural looking wigs in Dubai I want to look for wigs to cover excessive hair loss but wouldnt want the public to know

NatureGirl March 23, 2016 at 6:23 pm

Thank you so much for the video. It is very encouraging and gives me hope that there are solutions, not to regaining my hair but to finding a way to make peace with it and feel feminine again.

Is it comfortable to wear a Follea wig or topette? I wear a skullcap for sports and a cotton alopecia cap at work all day, and still adjusting to having something on my head, as I lost half my hair in a year so its been sudden. I am blessed with a husband who doesn’t care if I have hair or not, so I try to remember that I am blessed!

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