Help For Julie – Please Share Your Thoughts

by admin on February 12, 2008

A woman named Julie left this as a comment on this thread today:

I have moved it here so that it will be more visible to other women so they can offer some words of support and help.

“omg i have contemplated suicide for 3 yrs now as i’ve begun to lose my hair and been to dr after dr after dr, they have given me dx’s only to retract them and say no its this… no its this.. so i dont know to this day what is wrong… pls can someone help me.. i would rather die than shave it all off and wear a wig but its coming to that day soon when i will be bald.. i dont know how to handle it and i’m scared.. pls soemone help me.  I’m in Charlotte NC and am literally about to die.. i cant take it anymore and have sought remedies for these past 3 yrs and when people see me coming they dodge the other way as i’m always upset about it but i cant help it, are women supposed to deal with this and look like this.. i should be in the prime of my life and all i want to do is die…pls can someone email me if theres help or a group in Charlotte I can go to”

Dear Julie,

I first want to say, and you must believe I know what you are going through. I know the pain, the sadness, despair, depression and confusion that comes from suffering with hair loss as a woman. My hair loss began at 21, I am now 29. Over the years I’ve found myself so buried in sadness I never felt I could recover. I don’t know the particulars of your hair loss, I of course am not a doctor, but please share what you have been told and a little history about your hair loss and how it first began, and what treatments you have tried. I will do my best to help you in any way I can. For myself I hold in reserve that option to know I can always wear hair if I needed to. I’ve seen enough women with no hair actually wear hair to know how beautiful and undetectable it can be. True it isn’t our own hair growing out of our heads, but we can still look beautiful, feel good and live great lives filled with a lot of happiness. Hair loss isn’t the end. It is so easy to allow it to take over, to consume us, to change us and leave us feeling like a hollow shell of our former selves. But there is so much more. We are so much more than the sum of hairs on our head. Our lives are worth so much more than that. It is so important to think about how fortunate we are in so many other ways. When I feel weak and sad I look for strength in others who have conquered so much more, and are our out there living.

Please read Taylor’s Story, she is so inspirational. Here is the link:

Also here is a link to the story of a girl named Jordana

You are stronger than you imagine. You can get through this, please do not even consider suicide because of your hair loss. I get so sad when I read those words. Life is more than hair. I cry as I write this to you because I know the feeling intimately, I really do. I know what it is like to feel you cannot possibly live another day with the pain of seeing your hair get thinner and the worry of what the future will bring. But I have to tell you while I still have my insecurities I’m stronger today than I was 8 years ago when this all first started for me. You can get through this.

Please let me know more about your hair loss, the diagnosis you’ve received, treatments you’ve tried, when it first started, other medications you are taking and your age etc. I really want to help you the best I can.


{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }

Christa February 12, 2008 at 4:33 am

I cried reading your words. There are so many more beautiful things in this life than hair!! Take a moment and really put it into perspective.
When I get depressed about my hairloss, I just think of those who are so much worse than I will ever be. People dying from cancers, HIV, mothers losing their children to school shootings, people in other countries who are merely shadows of themselves from starvation and who never even see the ocean or feel the warm sand in their toes!
We as American women have become so accustomed to “beautiful” by hollywoods standards, we forget to really stop and admire what true beauty is. Its the kiss of a mother on her little boys knee, its the embrace of a loved one, the letter of a soldier, the first breath of life to a new born child.
DONT ever let any one convince you you are anything BUT beautiful!
Life itself is a beauty. Enjoy it please, and refocus.
With all my heart,
your internet friend!

Robin Flamish February 12, 2008 at 12:07 pm

Dear Julie, Everyone on this site is sooooooo feeling your pain, We all have had thoughts of despair, darkness, and utter disgust…. Hair loss can eat you alive, and consume every fiber of your being. I suppose I need to know if you have had a diagnosis by a REPUTABLE SPECIALIST for that is truly the first step to a long road of options. Would you be kind enough to share all of that with us. I understand that some of your options may may not be what you want to hear, you also may have to keep an open mind and think on integration systems or other hair piece systems to live with what you have… or dont have. There is no magic tricks to pull out of the hat, scam products that gaurantee results make thousands of dollars to only leave you pennyless and heartbroken. Not to say that all of them leave you that way…. for some, things do work! “The do work”…. depends on what type of loss you have. For myself I was almost at a point of looking into hair systems as I had hair loss so bad for years, In my case it was a handful of problems that needed to be looked at. With time I have slowed down the hair loss and had to come up with REAL SOLUTIONS through the cosmetic side of coping. So, before you can proceed to options…. you need a Specialist who can evaluate the root of the problem or problems. I know this is so redundant but you need to remove the stress levels because that is another component of hair loss. Yes….. easier said then done, but you NEED to calm down. My recomendation is to see David Kingsley in New York, He is the only doctor in twenty years who has helped me…. and mind you…. it was a matter of minerals, vitamins, diet, stress, and relaxation tequniques. Is your problem the same? I dont know… thats why you need to go see him. Just maybe… a simple blood test or supplement may do the trick. And you might say ” I have done that already”!. I would say “I did it for years and had zillions of blood test which by the way came back NORMAL”. What the Hell is normal…..For those twenty years I was supposedly normal until I found a doctor who Listened and cared, who did not write me a prescription for paxill or valium. This man is a saint and is genuinley passionate about helping people like you. a man with integrity and utter compassion. I love him, and respect him, I believe he is in my book a remarkable human being, dedicated to this terrible destructive evil monster. Please let us know more and if you need additional information I am there to help you any way I can. Life may be tough….. But you need to be Tougher! Fight back and be strong as we all need to stick together. Answers come in numbers. We are strong together. Together we shall come up with solutions for the next generation of hair loss sufferers. Maybe…. some day you will be offering these words to someone who needs you. And you my dear,
may be the one voice that made a difference. Keep us posted. We love you and care!

Gretchen February 12, 2008 at 1:31 pm

Hi Julie,
I’m so sorry to hear how sad and depressed you are because of your hair loss. Please know that you have tons of support from people all over – people who understand what it’s like to watch their hair fall out strand by strand. You mention that you live in Charlotte, NC. I live in the Winston-Salem area and have been visiting a dermatologist at Wake Forest Baptist Hospital. They have a fantastic dermatalogy department for women suffering with hair loss. There’s a doctor by the name of Amy McMichael that has done numerous studies on hair loss and speaks and writes about it regularly. Here’s some more info about her, but google her as well:

Amy J. McMichael, MD, Associate Professor, Department of Dermatology, Wake Forest University School of Medicine; Director of Hair Disorders Clinic, Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center, Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

I didn’t see her because I had to wait 6 months or so before I could get in, but I saw another woman in the dermatology department who has been really great. I’m starting to see a difference in my hair loss because of the treatments they’ve prescribed. The best part about all of the doctors there is that they truly listen with care and compassion. Before going to this dermatology department, I visited other dermatologists and doctors that didn’t have a clue what was going on with me and why I was losing my hair. I had actually been told there was nothing wrong, which wasn’t true. I have telogen effluvium with underlying androgenic alopecia.

Please know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers and that I am sending you strength and support to get through this.

Lisa February 12, 2008 at 3:11 pm

Dear Julie:

I can completely relate to how you feel. Sometimes I feel suicidal too, especially lately where I have been unsure if my diagnosis was true TE or both TE and AGA. It’s difficult because people who aren’t going through this do not understand but the women on this site do. They are so inspirational and will help you through this. Whenever I think of suicide I think of all the people I would hurt by doing it and that makes feel worse to put the people I care about through that. Stay strong you will get through this. I know it’s easier said than done. I wish you the best and please take care of yourself.


alice February 12, 2008 at 7:11 pm

Dear Julie,

I know how you feel, I’ve felt that way myself many times, but really we have to be thankful for what we do have. Hair is not worth killing ourselves over. I say that having known what it feels like to think life cannot continue if I go bald. The support I’ve seen on this site and the words written by other women have helped be tremendously. To know I am not the only one feeling like this. You have a ton of support here, you are not alone!

I think it may be a good idea to consider seeing the doctor that Gretchen recommended. It is a good place to start.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.


Ame February 12, 2008 at 8:02 pm

Dear Julie

Everyone here understands what you’re going through. I’m sure that most of have experienced, and maybe still experience, feelings of profound sadness, frustration, helplessness, and consequently thoughts of suicide, especially when we spend so much time and money trying to find out the cause for our ailment only to come up against a brick wall every single time. But as the others so rightly said, hair is NOT worth ending your life over, really it’s not.

Aesthetically speaking, facing baldness can feel like the end of the world, especially when we as women are conditioned to express our femininity, style and personality through our tresses. But the fact is, you CAN wear wigs (and you can glue them or stick them on to avoid any embarrassing accidents!)! There are some lace front wigs and vacuum wigs that are completely undetectable to most people (i.e. people who little or nothing about wigs, and this is by far the majority). They are worth the investment and they can restore your confidence completely!

It’s true, our life is so much more than hair. Hair may be the defining factor in what makes us happy or sad, but really there is so much more, and hopefully when you find a wig that you like – something that you can wear for days and do everything whilst wearing it, as if it was your own hair – you will come to realize this. There is no miracle cure to restore the hair that has been lost; there is only the option to cover up. And, if you can cover up in a way that fools others, you can start to fool yourself too. Let THIS inspire happiness!

Also, do you know how brave you already are, just by leaving the house wearing your natural hair? When I had lost only half my hair, I turned to wigs. People may stare at you and make mean remarks, but I assure you there are also plenty of people who, even though they don’t say anything, truly admire your courage for baring all (not that resorting to wearing wigs is cowardly; it’s not). I’ve seen completely bald women out in the city, and I just think how strong they are to be able to do that.

YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK, HONEY! Do not let this beat you!


Robin Flamish February 12, 2008 at 11:47 pm

Gretchen, I would be interested in what type of treatment your derm gave you for telogen effluvium. Any thing you can offer would be greatly appreciated.

julie February 13, 2008 at 1:40 am

hi all.. i did go see Dr Elise Olson in Durham for me to have to call her back to ask what was going on.. It was very disappointing as I thought I had found a specialist, she said it was female pattern, yet my first dx in 04 was lichen planus, then the dr said no its female pattern and teleogen… whatever, now my dr in charlotte says its not alopecia, not female pattern all is normal, you see the frustrating thing is i’ve been to SO many drs over these last 3 yrs to have so many different dxs, that I dont still know whats going on and the experience of taking a day off work to drive to Durham to try to get an answer for me to have to call her back to find out what she found out…. and they did lab tests and it was normal so she ASSUMED it is female pattern i dont know.. its just can female pattern get so disfiguring? My mom had thin hair but it wasnt disfiguring it seems the parts are wide and cut up everywhere and it doesnt lay right because its so thin in places.. its like it goes in a circular pattern around my head… i have tried to deal with it and cry myself to sleep most nites as no one understands except yall. i go to work and have this high powered job and great clothes, kids, etc.. but this I cannot do anything about.. I tried the microlinks system where they put extensions in your hair but apparently they didnt do enough and it is all out now what they did and didnt make a big difference and spent $150 on that! I bot 2 wigs and 1 looks oK yet like a wig and i dont want that , the other is too much.. i cant win i cant! I just dread facing myself in the mornings and whats ironic is my hair used to be the VERY BEST thing about me now its killing me. I guess one day soon I will have to do something drastic and get a full wig but i am scared that is worse than the problem i feel as it will not look normal and to think of wearing something every day for the rest of my life i would truly rather die.. i just dont understand it most women my age arent going thru this.. i just wish God could come down and tell me exactly what it is, what caused it, so I will know, maybe I wont know that until I die and get the answer then. Believe me I dont want to die but this is SO hard.. Everyone glares at me at work and I want to cry out STOP I CANT HELP THE WAY I LOOK IF YOU ONLY KNEW THE PAIN DEEP INSIDE>OMG OMG… I want to talk to my boss about it yet i’m scared, as he doesnt know my history.. i had breast cancer as i said and i was hired after i had experienced that, so all he knows is i’m just plain ugly!! but I know he notices, i guess i dont know what telling him will do, other than being frank with him on how i feel but yet it will bring it out more to his attention .. and its such a humiliating subject, i want to talk about it yet i dont you know? its just bad any way you look at it… i went to Jerry Cooley in charlotte too for him to say it was female pattern so i guess i have to accept it.. yet my dr recently said no it was not.. god i dont know what to do or who to believe.. yet even if someone can tell me what it is, theres apparently nothing or no treatment i can get for it is what my dr told me… its humiliating and defeating. I try to hold on but this is hard. I never thought my life would resort to this.. can you tell me if you think i should just be honest with my boss and tell him what i’m going thru as sometimes i know hes noticed i’m down or act wierd, sometimes i cant look him or anyone in the eye as i’m so self conscious about how i look.. i’ve tried counseling, meds, etc.. over these last 3 yrs and nothing helps me accept this.. I feel a wig would do me in… it may save my life yet i know me and know i couldnt deal with that but may have to… i just wish i could air to people how i feel and dont look at me like that, accept me anyway even though i’m ugly.. i want to cry out and say help me anybody… what do i do?

Lisa February 13, 2008 at 3:02 pm

Hi this is a message for Gretchen. I wanted to know where your story was on the site so I could read it. I supposedly have TE too but would like to read about someone else’s experience. Can you let me know where it is and how much hair you were losing? Thanks Lisa

Rachael Jean Harper February 14, 2008 at 1:41 am

Hi Julie. I know that this is so hard, and I can feel, and identify with you so much. There have been times when I have been so depressed, also, and felt like why me God! Please know that you are beautiful. All of us are beautiful and have every right to be happy. We all have good and bad days. The best place for me to go to get cheered up is on this blog. Together, we are powerful enough to help support each other to overcome the voice of our ego, the one that makes us feel like we are not enough with out our hair. That we are no longer real women. That is so untrue. We really are only talking about hair, and I have to tell myself that all of the time.

I have lost 2/3 of my hair, and have tried to keep up with it in degrees. First a hair peice that actually looked very cute and made me feel good. Now that is almost not enough and I now have to soon go to a wig. The point is that we just can’t hang onto the way we use to wear our hair. We have to keep an open mind and find solutions that work for us. It just isn’t the end of our woman hood, just our old perceptions.

Life is good. Please hang in there with us. We all share your feelings, and come to this blog for support and understanding. You are no longer alone. Let us be your special friends. There is a lot of laughter out here. We just need to go on a spiritual diet and feed ourselves good thoughts. We are beautiful, and reafirming this will keep the ego from telling us differently. Lots of love to you Julie. Please, keep writing to us. We will do this firewalk in life together. Rachael Jean

julie February 14, 2008 at 3:35 am

can anyone simply answer this as i saw this on someone elses post… if your hair just stops growing, is that considered female pattern.. mine is growing on the ends but not the sides and top.. its wierd.. will i ever know what is going on.. i am not doing well… can someone answer.. what i need is if someone has or is experiencing this that lives in Charlotte NC who can contact me… i still need advice, can you read what my earlier LONG posting says and tell me what you would do… guess i may have to shave it all off and wear a wig.. i dont think i can handle this.. i need help.

Robin Flamish February 14, 2008 at 12:17 pm

Julie I only have a moment here before I go to work, Sounds like to me you need to speak your mind to your boss, not like you need to explain anything to ANYBODY! However….. sometimes it becomes apparent the way people look at you and it makes you want to freak out and take your frustration out on them, I guess what Im trying to say is…..When people dont understamd the pain thats associated with hair loss for women, they are un certain how to handle it… It is only when you bring it to the table, face to face that they grasp the magnitude of the whole scope of how much of a struggle day to day life is for you. As a result, it makes the situation become easier for them to digest. And then in return you dont feel like a circus freak or spectacle. My daughter is mentally challenged and when we go out socially…. people stare, gauk, and whisper. Sometimes I will just walk over to them and say……… Hey I realize my daughter is different and she may appear difigured, But did you know that she has a heart with feelings and your crushing her self esteem by staring and giggling at her? I think maybe your the one with dissabilities, By the way…. Have a nice day. It works. Society especially younger generations have been raised with no morals… Quite painful to her and heart wrenching for me. I would be lying if I would tell you I never wanted to punch some one in the face who thrives on peoples hardships or gets there rocks off of someone elses hardships. Stand tall, speak your mind and remember YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Peace and LOVE HAPPY VALENTINES TO ALL YOU LADYS

Shelley February 16, 2008 at 1:45 am

I started loosing my hair in my teens and I am now 37.It is devastating as all of us women know and I went through some very tough times over the past tweny some years…I have been where you have been many many times Julie.I really dont know how I have kept my sanity over the years but somehow I have pulled myself together somewhat…….
I am not saying I dont get depressed because of my hairloss because I still do and then I scream and cry and let it out and then I go back to the mirror and do what I can to make myself feel pretty.
I never wanted to have to wear a wig but I finally decided it was time.I dont have a wig I now have a hair system(made with human hair) and it isnt as bad as all that.It does look like my own hair and I am happier with it.I can style it any way I want.I can wear it up or down.It has made a difference in my life.
I am just trying to say that there are other options out there for you besides taking your own life.There are alot of women in this community reaching out to you to let you know that you are not alone.

Shanlaree February 15, 2008 at 9:10 pm


Can you tell us more about the hair system that you are using?

Shanlaree February 15, 2008 at 9:29 pm

Julie & Lisa-

It sounds like you are having a tough time right now. I get that. I have been their and it hurts. May I add something here?

I believe that there are solutions and it is highly doubtful that a dermatologist knows the solution for everyone. I believe these kinds of doctors in the medical system don’t have the kind of creative intelligence and natural curiosity required to find solutions to these kinds of problems that are always optimal. I’m not saying that they can’t help but their’s is a ‘quick one-size-fits-all’ approach but the work required to find the right solution that will be the easiest and perfect solution takes more work and care to discover.

My first and strong recommendation is to not listen to any one person but to do online and do hours and hours of research and have in your mind that there is a solution for you that you only have to find it.

First rule: Don’t listen to any ONE person

Second rule: Know there is a solution that is truly a permanent solution and that’s an easy answer and that you just have to find it

Third rule: Medical Doctors can help a little but they usually cause more harm than good because they are too lazy (and by nature not curious beings) so they use a one-size fits all approach which never gives great results in the end and can usually have side effects, etc

Fourth rule: Look for patterns. Look for answers that make sense. First study all the theories about why this exists (before you study and look for a solution). I’d take a few days just ONLY to read about the problem. Then, once U found all the different theories out there about why hair loss in women can happen… I would think about it and see what makes the most
sense for you. Then, I would go look for a solution.
(I am in my own search now).

If you do the above and DO NOT listen to any ONE person (or even a group of people who come from the same ‘area of thought like doctors’ than you will should find the answer.


I agree that nutrition is the first obvious place to start…

But not the end of it…

Go to google:

I typed in ‘vegatables high in iron and got the answers..

“Fortunately, many vegetables, such as broccoli and bok choy, which are high in iron, are also high in vitamin C so that the iron in these foods is very
well …”

Answers are out there– Do NOT trust a few doctors…go research and hear from hundreds of the best doctors and make your own conclusion…

julie February 16, 2008 at 7:17 am

Shanlaree, I have done so much internet and research projects over these last 3 yrs you wouldnt believe it. i have done that and still come up with nothing. i have researched, called places, stopped by every hair salon in Charlotte after work searching for help, gone to different dermatologists, counselors, medication, hair replacement systems, emailed dermatologists online, you name it i have done it and i still have no answers.. thats why its still so desparate for me.

admin February 16, 2008 at 9:27 am

Julie –

I do know of Dr. Jerry Cooley and he is pretty respected. I don’t think he would tell a woman she had female pattern hair loss if he didn’t believe it was so. And hair is what he does day in and day out. But certainly everyone can make a mistake. Was his diagnosis based on looking at your scalp only, was he able to tell if there was miniturization of the follicle? That is a real tell tale sign that it is female pattern hair loss. Some doctors use something called a densitometer to assess that.

What does your gut tell you? Deep down, do you believe it is female pattern hair loss? I believe I knew years ago early on that it was female pattern hair loss but kept myself in denial, hoping it would all fix itself on it’s own. Different diagnosis from different doctors is definitely confusing, the unfortunate fact is that physicians know so little about women’s hair loss and the infinite causes.

Hair loss in females exhibits various patterns. Someone women have gradual thinning as they age but still look like they have full heads of hair. Some are more extreme and lose it more quickly with more areas of the loss being pronounced on the top, sides or back.

I Was thinking about your situation with your boss, I was imagining myself in your shoes. I think if it were me I would talk to him, I think feeling like you are hiding and also being exposed at the same time is worse that just saying it out right and laying all the cards on the table. But that is me. I am very private about my hair loss, but having thought about your situation, I definitely would speak up. But you have to think that one out carefully and imagine different responses on his part and really feel like that is the best choice for yourself.

Hair replacement… $150 for microlinks is way too cheap so I imagine that whoever was doing it used bad quality hair and had no idea what they were doing whatsoever. I think you have had some bad experiences with hair additions so that is why the thought of that seems like death itself. But there is hair replacement so good out there that it is undetectable to everyone around the person wearing it. It can cost a hefty amount, but small price to pay for feeling good in your own skin. I be willing to bet at one point or another you were looking at a woman with fabulous hair cursing her in every way imaginable and she was actually WEARING hair. I don’t look forward to that day for myself, I don’t think any woman does, but I know the option is there, I know it will take getting use to, but I can still look like I have hair to the rest of the world and pull if off when I go home :) I wouldn’t mind being shaved bald in the house, it is the uncomfortable stares out in the world that would hurt me.

You must know who Beyonce is, the majority of the time she is wearing a lace front wig. With a lace front wig you can actually pull your hair back to reveal the hair line. The hair she wears is insanely unbelievable! How about Tyra Banks, another famous hear wearer. Beautiful woman wearing hair for fashion. We can do that too. We can be just as beautiful and feel good about ourselves and be the envy of the women around us who are clueless to our secret. It’s work, it takes time and maintenance, but well worth it.

I know the feeling of knowing that your hair was like the best thing ever. I had crazy thick gorgeous hair until I was 21. I got more compliments on that than anything else since I can remember. Too lose it, was so painful, so hurtful. I sit here typing to you after washing my hair, watching it fall into the sink after combing it and feeling like I have nothing heavier than feather lying on my shoulders. But this is my life, the hand I’ve been dealt. I refuse to call it quits when life is so much more than our hair. Ask any mother with gorgeous thick hair if she’d being willing to give it up and live bald to save the life of her child. The answer will most certainly be YES! Because LIFE is so much more important than hair. Our lives our worth more. We need to love ourselves more.

On another note, I am overwhelmed by the out pouring of support for your plea for help, from women on this blog. I have to thank all of you ladies who have written from your heart. Christa, Robin Flamish, Gretchen, Heather, Lisa, Alice, Ame, Rachel Jean, ShanLaree and Shelley… Thank you!

Thinking of you Julie


Shanlaree February 16, 2008 at 11:27 pm


All I know to say is hang in there. Believe that there is a solution. It is hard – as it is for me and I am still in my own search. But believe that you will find something that will work for you. Change your outlook. Look at this a a project but leave the emotion, the pain. That pain is good to post here but leave it behind while you passionately continue your research. I choose to believe that it is not going to be the same for everyone. That there is also a growth opportunity here. You can make it through this. I am so sorry that you and I and all these other women have to go through this. We are the select few that have this instead of something else. We can find strength within our selves and this community to grow and be strong and build confidence. I believe you can do this.

We all can if we choose. Also feel free to check out the network- it is so great. You can type in how your are feeling daily and people respond just like these do here but it is even more of a community feel.

many blessings!

julie February 18, 2008 at 8:12 pm

so can anyone tell me if they’ve done hair extensions? i’m just going to do that but will the girl who cuts my hair regularly still be able to do it? do i get the kind that are bonded, i know nothing about them or do i just get clip ons? i want it to look real too.. where do i go and how do i know they wont hurt my scalp more? i just need something on the sides and back.. that is all.. how do i know i can trust the person i’m going to…. can anyone tell me if you’ve done this and will that be a natural alternative to a wig? I would do anything rather than wear a wig… can anyone lead me to the right person and something that is safe yet looks good? I checked out Euphoria Hair and Salon in Charlotte, nc read about their extensions and tell me if that is where i should go.. i just dont know anything about extensions and want it to look right yet be safe… can anyone tell me about these? Thanks.

Jeannen February 18, 2008 at 9:36 pm

Hi Julie – I am so sorry that you’re going through so much pain and mental anguish. Although I don’t have the extensive history and information as these wonderful ladies here do (as my hair started to fall out 2 weeks-ish ago), I pray that you’ll find the strength and hope you need to help. It’s funny – my husband started losing his hair a few years back and I told him then that you’re so much more than a head of hair. Now I’m confronted with my own words and I whole-heartedly believe that the same is true in my own situation. Please, please, please know that you’re not alone.


julie February 19, 2008 at 5:05 pm

can someone please give me advice if i should do this. i went to talk to an experienced woman at a salon who has done extensions for 15 yrs… She uses the strand by strand technique where they bond (dont use glue) hair to your hair and it doesnt touch the scalp… i want to do this yet i am scared it will harm my hair more in the long run…. only other option is to deal with it or get a wig and i cant do either of those… Can you advise me as deep down I guess my gut is saying i shouldnt do it… yet i think of if this will work and not harm it and how confident i would feel……….pls?

Cybdi February 20, 2008 at 5:51 am

Hi Julie,

I am a 36 yr old female who used to have incredibly thick wavy lon red hair. I have Hashimotos Thyroiditis which causes hair loss. My hair is soooo thin now. I have searched for years for a solution. Nothing has worked so far. However, I recently got a hair system which looks awesome. No one knows unless I tell them. I feel pretty again!!! I would recommend trying it out- it has given me the boost of self esteem that I so desperately needed!

Mercedes February 21, 2008 at 6:36 am


I know the great pain of losing yourself when you lose your hair. I hit my deepest depression as I watched handful upon handful of hair end up in the drain. I have tried so many remedies, both holistic and Rx, that I wonder sometimes if I have done more damage then good. It got to the point where I was second away from pulling a Brittany and shaving what was left behind off! Luckily a friend showed up and talked me down.

No one can feel exactly like you, because it is personal. However you should know that you have to keep fighting, ending things should never be an option for you. I can only imagine that you are a wonderful person and that you would leave behind so many people that care for you! I know that every woman here sends you their stength – remember that you are not alone. I use to feel so isolated, and now I take some comfort that there are other women I can talk to. Everyone needs support and you have it here. Take care of yourself!

julie February 21, 2008 at 4:52 pm

mercedes is yours better or not
i have toyed with the idea someone gave me of a hair replacement system (they bond hair to you and you go in monthly to have it adjusted).. i know that is crazy but i’ve seen pictures and they are beautiful and she said no one knew she had it… yet the thought of this as well as take off/on wig still presents the problem of it never growing back when something covers it all the time yet I have to do something. Guess thats the price you pay for fixing it now.. guess i also have to face the fact that it may never come back and will probably get worse thats why the bonding thing sounds good as i dont have to take it off/on myself and it is something that i will have securely to me.. god what do i do.. i hate to admit it but each day i think more/more of suicide.. i was down today and cried at my desk and turned my chair so no one could see me… should i talk to my boss and admit whats going on yet this is the type problem that is humiliating to admit to anyone and when you do they look at it even MORE… god what do i do should i just resort to someone making me a great on/off wig or try the bonding thing… i try to so hard to imagine me getting over this and being happy and having a hair remedy and i get so happy thinking about it, but the reality is the remedy is hard too as everyone will know it is something and i will still take it off at the end of the day and face the same problem…………. pls pray for me.. pls as i am crumbling.

cmd February 21, 2008 at 7:21 pm

Julie, I know full well how it makes you feel. I’ve often thought I was a freak of nature..not someone you’d say had a disability but not someone normal. I am at the point in hairloss where hair transplantation is not an option because I don’t have enough donor hair. My frontal hairline has pretty much disappeared and I hate it everyday. But you know what…I have a husband who loves me and a 10 month old precious daughter. My friends don’t love me any less for my “problem”. In fact, I just posted something on this site and truly it was partly self pity that drove it. But I’m here….I made it through that down moment. I have my moment’s a lot, I cry, I can’t stand to look at myself and it’s hard to even get myself out of the house and to work. But there is so much life outside of this one thing that seems to haunt us. We make it a much larger issue for ourselves than everyone else. So what if you wear hair. I’m looking into it too. I’m not going to lie and say that I’m happy about it. No, of course I’d rather have a beautiful full head of my own hair. But that will more than likely not happen and that’s something just about every woman on this site deals with everyday. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. And we move on to what we CAN do. Why shouldn’t we live? There’s so much we’re missing by letting ourselves remain in this dark pit. I’ve had some degree of depression since I was 14 because of this. Get the hair, whatever hair works for you, and realize that if you can make it through all of this, you are a very strong woman. It takes strenght to overcome, move one and LIVE. You’re worth. I’m worth it too. WE ARE ALL WORTH IT.

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