Desire To Be Bald – Gosia’s Hair Loss Story

by Y on January 19, 2008

Desire To Be Bald - Gosia's Hair Loss StoryThe title may seem to be surprising.. but, actually, when analyzed accurately.. it is not. I have been an AGA sufferer for a few years now. and I AM SICK OF THIS SITUACION. What I want now is only “to have this situation solved one way or another. Either grow back or fall out completely. So that I can resolve it and move forward.” Based on my prior experience I know that grow back is impossible. You may say I gave up. Yes, I did. Because there is no point trying to fight with anenemy you don’t understand and one you are blind and deaf against. You will only go through better and worse times, being moody so that people around will not stand you anymore. Curing uncurable puts you in a perpetual state of false hope. You neither have decent hair nor a good replacement; You’re betwixt and between.I have had enough. Finished medical treatment and wait for so little hair to shave it off. Be beautiful for myself when totally bald. I can accept it. And being beautiful to people around who have no idea, when wearing the best available vacuum wig. Just hard times for me when the final hair loss comes. Wish me strength. I hope I manage.”I am literally a shell of my old self and I am quite frightened. Sometimes I just want to shave my head and get a full best quality undetectable wig so I don’t have to see anymore hair in the shower drain, sink, bathroom floor, back of my shirt, etc. I don’t want to have a partial replacement system on a clip, as it is just inconvenient.I don’t want to have a partial replacement system based on adhesives as I would never accept my looks with severe typical men’s baldness. I want to shave my head and become beautiful again. And I will.Nobody can understand me. But I do not care. This is only my life and my best times (I am 24)

Dear Gosia,

Thank you so much for writing your story. Your thoughts are my thoughts. Your feelings are my feelings. On more occasions than I can count I have wished for there to be some finality to this never ending hair loss nightmare. Some closure…anything. I’ve felt the torture, the decline and slow death of my self esteem tear away minute by minute, day by day and year after year. You reach a point where you throw your hands up in the air and say “if I’m going to be bald then fine let it happen all now and let me get on with my life, because this strand by strand thing is eating me alive.”I understand you very closely, I read your words as though they were my own. Please don’t think you are alone, you surely are not. You’ve been able to capture on paper what we many women with hair loss think about all the time. I wrote a post awhile back called “Will I Ever Have The Strength To Just Shave My Head” I too want to be free from the shackles of hair loss.This is your life. Be bald be beautiful be YOU.I tell myself, this is my life, the one I’ve been given, the only one I have. I best do all I can with the rest of it. I am 29 years old.~Y

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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Robin Flamish January 21, 2008 at 7:28 pm

Dear Gosia,
I sit here tonight with tears rolling down my face, for I know all to well the heartache and utter disgust of waking up to another day of looking in the mirror trying to accept what I have yet to conquer. My floor below the bathroom sink thick with hair sticks to my feet like a pair of self made hairy slippers. The sheer feeling of hair falling to my shoulders or touching my skin sends my body into an un controllable tremor that scares the living hell out of me. Yet…. I am not ready to lay down and die, for I have a fight that has just begun!!! For you! for me, and for all of us who are in this together. A strong mind and passionate commitment is the road I choose, and my hope is to one day conquer this for someone maybe long after I am gone. I say to you…. sometimes in life you have to grab life by ding dongs and scream out from the top of your lungs…. then take a deep breath and put your energy and resources in finding a cure, or treatment for the next generation of hair loss victims. It is my hope at the end of my life…. I put my best foot forward by offering Love, compassion, and the desire to fund more research by giving everything I can to opening a new door that would otherwise remain closed or nailed shut. I thank god for the Spencer Kobrens of today and the wonderful doctors who have touched my life, Like David Kingsley a awesome trychologist who has put my shedding episodes to a bare minimum. Not to mention this spectacular site that I am so grateful to have found. These are the people I choose to follow… makeing a difference and giving us there hearts and souls so we may find each other for support, love, and unconditional connections for life. You are beautiful! no matter your color, creed or mane, know that you are not alone in this debilatating and deppresing nightmare. You can make a difference….. Now I say…Take that step as it will give you the strength to face another day! Keep the faith and open your heart, someone needs you to show them the way!


vicky January 22, 2008 at 2:59 am

Dear Robin

Thank you for your inspring and strong words, they help all of us. You mentioned your doctor helped you with your shedding – how exactly did he do this, i’m sure quite a few of us would love to hear all the details, are u on any particular meds? vitamins? did u have a biopsy done, i know we are all different and our hairloss is also different and varied, but we all suffer the same. So what has worked for u may help somebody else. Love to hear from you.



Robin Flamish January 22, 2008 at 5:05 am

Dear Vicky and friends,
For years,I have searched high and low…family doctors,. endocronogist and such. Until I read an article about a wonderful trychologist in New York. At first I was so dissapointed when I drove 3 hours to go see him however, when I got there it was somehow quite different, not cold caculating, incensitive but warm kind caring and wonderfully educating. He took his time to ask me many questions and promised me only fair answers and a partnership of integrity honesty and ongoing support. That was very important to me for all the specialist in the past were cold.I was wasting there time. In fact I can remember one who told me to grow up…. I wasnt 20 anymore. I can re call the ride home as I contemplated driving into a stone embankment. Kingsley explained that I had both telogen enfluvium and genetic balding, I wasnt surprised as I had researched for many years about my shedding frenzys that seemed to be induced by stress and stress related issues. I suppose the most touching part of my time with him was when he said my blood workup wasnt good enough and although I was ticked that I needed to drive hours home I thought…… well he cares,he could have said well my dear your not to be completely bald, just go home and bake a nice pie or something similar as others have said. The mere fact of wanting more information so he could sincerly make a diagnosis was particularly most appealing. So I did as he asked. My blood work that was faxed earlier prior to my visit was to broad the whole normal thing is ridiculous for sure. His hunch that my iron levels were indeed borderline anemia was without a doubt a real underlying issue. The remedy was simple, not a cure but a tremendous difference in hair shedding for which I am grateful for. I currently take 4 amino acids broken down 2 morning 2 afternoon an Iron supplement and copper two times a week 2 mg I also take a hair vitamin called shen min it is a natural approach and I seem to be keeping my hair more on my head then on the floor. It is too soon to speculate on hair growth yet but I shall keep you all posted and let you no in several months. Additionally I mix Rosemary fresh ginger and lavender heads with some water and boil to make a spray solution. I use it twice a day and have been soon to say but somethings working My hairy slippers are starting to get bald!!!!! Will it work for you? who knows but I believe you should try every option and remember…… STRESS IS YOUR ENEMY ………. Dr. Kingsley also recomends laser treatments and such. I will never forget him and feel as though he is without a doubt one of the few doctors who genuinly is concerned in this hairloss fight. Together with Spencers Kolbrens book I feel more empowered and know that good things will come down the road in the near future. Take your energy and help the fight,,, gather people that support you and do a marathon walk for the cure, or walk for a hairpiece for childrens hair loss. Put your energy into the future. TOGETHER BEAUTIFUL THINGS CAN HAPPEN!!!! FIGHT BACK….. KICK BUTT!!!! MIND OVER MATTER!!!!! GOOD THINGS COME FOR THOSE WHO WANT IT. LETS START A WALK to raise money.hang on let me get my sneakers be right back………………….. READY?


vicky January 22, 2008 at 4:28 pm

Dear Robin

Thank you for breaking down your daily “fight against the hairloss regime” for us and i must say that i am so happy that your doctor didn’t prescribe you any meds but just some carefully selected vitamins. I know it is not a cure but so many doctors are cold and just simply prescribe this medication and that and do not look at the overall hairloss problem. Loosing your hair strand by strand really is just a sympton and for most of us the problems go so much deeper than that and for them to just prescribe certain meds and do not look at the overall pschycological problem is in my book really wrong. Were not just another statistic were human being who have feelings and have being dealt a raw deal but the doctors do not understand or care and just go to the meds. For some women, meds works but for others it is a lot more complex than that and further analysis is really required.

I too take vitamins and an amino acid and chinese herbs but only because i’ve done some research and i had read something about copper peptides but wasn’t really sure about that. My derm had prescibed aldactone i was on it for a short period of time and got side effects so it wasn’t for me. I know my hairloss is genetic but also stress related as 07 was a very stressful year for me. I’m seeing my derm in early feb she wants me to go on the pill but i’ve being very hesitant to do this, your story gives me a few more angles to tackle and a whole heap of questions to ask- so thank you.

Best of luck with your regime – Vic.


Robin Flamish January 22, 2008 at 5:49 pm

What a great name, My daughters name is victoria but we call her Tori. I would like to know were you live and how old you are? Is all your hair loss genetic or have you been told both genetic and telogen effluvium? Are you willing to travel for another opinion. My success with dermatologist have been god awful, I hope you have a good support mechanism with your doctor. I will tell you that the more you stress over this hairloss factor the more loss you have. I really useto be so anal with my weight and running 5 miles a day because I suffered with obsessing over the good body thing. Lately I am trying to balance my life out…. not worrying over the small stuff, eating a healthy diet and taking the time to meditate for my doctor told me it is all part of healing the body. The mind and body connection is so real. I can honestly tell you that my mind has played a lot of lousy tricks on me. Try incorporating some time for yourself such as yoga, a good walk, breathing techniques and de stressing your mind. I would be extremely interested in your follow up. Please keep in touch with me and by all means email me anytime If you lived close by Id say lets hang out. Even though I am 45 I feel so connected as though were all in this together. I hope this offers some good results Love Robin


vicky January 22, 2008 at 10:14 pm

Hi Robin

I’m so glad you had time to write back and your regime on tackling the problem sound more of what i would like to do. To tell u a little about myself , here it goes, i’m 39 years old i have 3 children ages ranging from 7years through to 2years old, one girl and 2 boys and i live in australia, since you’ve visited your doctor in N.Y i don’t the hanging out part can really happen but i do feel connected by your message and the way you have gone about the hairloss and we should continue to give each other support in this situation.

In terms of my doctor i do not feel i’ve got a good connection with her i went to another derm and she told me she wasn’t at all an expert in this field and ofcourse i broked down and cried in front of her and my husband (something i hadn’t planned on) but she was honest and has recommended another guy who is an expert in this field so i’ll see how this goes.

In terms of stress, that is the most difficult thing to control u cant control it and there are times that the depression just takes over but i do have a very good support mechanism with my hubby, mum, in-laws etc and recently i have tapped back into my faith and believe there is a reason why i’m going through this and that i will survrive this no matter what. With 3 little ones it’s hard to have time for yourself but i do try and have some quiet time for myself and i don’t cry as much now, so i’m making baby steps with my healing and acceptance with what i’m going through.

My hairloss is genetic but i do beleive that i also have TE as my hair loss is thinning all over my head and is constantly coming out and i need to ask the derm some more in depth questions. So more tests and more appoitments etc i’m getting fed up with this routine but if you do not ask u can’t educate yourself on finding what is best for u.

Love Vic.


Robin Flamish January 23, 2008 at 4:27 am

I am incredibly jealous! AUSTRALIA! Those little kowola bears, the beautiful accents, the magic in the air the croccodiles ohhhhhh you can keep the croccodiles HA! any way i think your on the right track, keep searching for those that can help you. Additionally, david Kingsley offers phone consultations as well, the problem is I dont know how accurate they are if your not right there. Also, have you read spencer david kobren books TRUTH ABOUT WOMENS HAIR LOSS. There is also a website called The Bald Truth radio show, you can listen in and call with comments. It airs Sunday at 8;00 eastern and I am not sure how that works for you, I think everyone should listen he is quite knowledgable and the pioneer in advocating for the truth in terms of scams etc.The other thing is Dr. Kingsley has offices all over and I think in uk and others. check his sight I would be interested to know how your appointments go, in the mean time keep the stress at bay!!!!!! Love Robin


Arsh February 1, 2008 at 11:02 pm

have u tried an integration system with microlinks? you don’t have to shave your head, you just have to explore options.

i sometimes find internet boards to be so depressing and leave you with a feeling that there is no hope–well there is.

my hair fell out for years, but slowly it is growing back despite what others and doctors have said. i eat healthy, work out, and keep my stress down. i have also started eating organically and contemplate my hair growing back. i do not expect my hair to come completely back, but honestly, i was thinking about it on day ,and hair loss is something that is not difficult to conceal.

i would say, explore you options… there are many different options for wearing hair pieces, and if you have hair left, then an integration with microlinks could be good on a semi perm basis or a clip in piece…


Tiffany February 2, 2008 at 4:09 pm

How do the intergration with microlinks work? Thanks


Nicole May 17, 2008 at 1:31 pm

I am 35 and have been suffering with very gradual hair loss for several years. But, after having my son, it sped up tremendously. He is now 18 months old and about 6 months ago, it seemed to improve(no shedding)but then it came back a few months later! SO I started rogaine about 6 weeks ago using it two times a day religiously (used the 2% for about a month) and then started the 5% foam and have used that for at least a couple weeks. I was diagnosed with androgenic alopecia after a scalp biopsy. But I am so confused because I started spironolactone about 1 1/2 weeks ago and more hair is falling out then ever. I went to a hair loss salon to try out some integration pieces ( so depressing) and the stylist was saying that he’d never seen rogaine work and he’s been doing this for 25 years. I wonder if my “treatments” are making it worse. I do not know what to do! It is killing me! I feel like the stress is eating me alive, yet I don’t know how to stop it!


Lenore September 29, 2008 at 5:21 pm

I am so thankful that I found this sight. I can’t believe that so many of you have my same feelings and thoughts. I have wanted to shave my head now for a year. I’m SICK of this problem ruining my life. However, I do see hope in the future. I have been seeing a Dr. Redmond ( New York) who has putting me through hormone treatment. He is very sensitive to women’s hair loss, and has had much success with his methods. I have had some hair re-growth, my skin has improved dramatically( acne), and moods are much improved. I have much hope, though I realize this will take quite some time to heal completely. In the mean time, I have found a new hair extension method called cold fusion that is used on many alopecia and chemotherapy patients. It looks completely natural, and does not use glue, chemicals , heat or braiding of your own hair. I encourage all to research this method. This could be helpful on our journey back to having hair. My prayers are with all of you.
-Lenore age 22


Vickie October 24, 2009 at 12:30 am


I’ve been reading everyone’s experiences here with their hair loss and I can certainly relate to the depression, the anger, the hair on the floor, in the bathtub, falling down my arms and back, picking strands off of my clothes, on my printer, and the on going battle. Right now I am using Toppik. It’s not bad, but it’s getting to where several months to a year from now I ‘m afraid that it’s not going to be sufficient any more. In 2002 I went to Bosley’s and had a hair transplant. For 18 months it looked great, and I was thrilled and relieved. Then one morning I took a good look at myself in the bathroom mirror and realized that I was losing my hair again! I was sick. I didn’t have the money to go back to get anything done about again, and I didn’t have enough donor hair left either. Here’s a heads up, they are now starting to find out that transplants may not work as well on women as they do men. I also have lymphedema which cause me to be extra swollen and heavy. So I’m thin where I don’t want to be and thick where I don’t want to be. Everything is so reversed. Has anyone tried Hair Essentials? I’ve heard some pretty good things about it but not sure. Please pray that something will break concerning hair loss. Our hair is suppose to be our crowning glory. It’s really so much harder for women than it is for men. I was in the grocery store the other day and it seemed like every one in town with long thick beautiful hair was there. I couldn’t help but notice my own straggly locks in contrast. By the time I got back to the car with my groceries I was near tears, it seemed so unfair. Was it so much to ask to just have hair on my head?! Yes I’m having a pity party and all of you are invited. Sorry, I know that’s no good, and maybe, there will be an answer for us all before too long, before we all get so old it won’t matter. God bless and be with each and every one of you through this.



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