hair loss tips

This wonderfully clever and cute post was written by a WHLP network member, Franny. She’s given me permission to repost it here to share it with all of you gals!

This is in response to a recent blog which referred to telling her husband about getting her hair system which got me thinking….always dangerous.

My response was too long to post in the blog’s comments section so here it goes:

Don’t forget that with the majority of men you need to spell things out in simple, quick , unambiguous chunks that require no effort on their part to understand and little or no discussion.

I’ve thought about a handy 5 point plan for other women wanting to have a similar conversation with their husbands / partners….
Once you have decided on the hair system you want the conversation could probably go like this and take around 30 seconds to around 5 minutes (isn’t that usually the case with men??? LOL)

1: I need to get hair

2: This is the kind of hair I am getting and this is how it works (eg wig / topper, maintenance, etc – keep details to a minimum)

3: Getting hair will make me feel:
a. better about myself
b. happier & more self confident
 c. *sexier*

4: Cost (this is only an issue if he will be paying for it or the cost will be out of your joint agreed household budget / savings that you contribute to. If you are paying for it – it’s your money and you can spend it however you darn well please. )

5: Any questions?

If he has any question pertaining to cost, remind him of point 3c and infer that he could be ‘getting some’ if Points 1, 3a & 3b are achieved.

If he has questions about the system you’ll be getting – hit him with the technicals – use numbers and car sounding words like ‘110% density high performance mono top’, ‘oil based solvent’ and ‘ high tensile clips’ – avoid telling him things that may make his eyes glaze over like ‘how easy it is to style’ , ‘Cute cut’ and ‘natural parting’.

Be positive and assertive, keep referring to point 3c as required and you’re sorted! Hair system on its way stress free! [click to continue…]

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1-800-Help-Men -- To help your man help you!

A Blog Post By Kathyloulu

One New Year’s Eve a few years ago we had some friends over for a little get together. After one of our friends described how she had been upset over a comment that was made to her and how her husband responded in the “wrong” way, we joked that we should establish and website and 1-800 number to help men with what they should say to their wives in difficult situations. We decided we should call it: 1-800-HELP-MEN or 1800helpmen.com

So… if the man in your life were to call this hypothetical hotline, I’d give him this 12-step program to help him help you deal with your hair loss — and to help them know the correct “wig etiquette.” Even if your partner is not a man, much of the program still applies. Read on…

1) Acknowledge that she is losing her hair. Don’t pretend that she looks the same because she knows she doesn’t and she needs your support and encouragement. However, just as with every other “appearance issue,” use discretion in how you give an honest answer. For example, she might say, “Do I look weird?” And you might think that a simple “Yes” or “no” will do. Might I recommend that you use a few more, but carefully-selected, words? Try this, “Honey, I fell in love with you, not your hair, and I think you are so strong for the way you are dealing with this.” See? You didn’t even have to actually answer her question, but instead validated her real underlying need to know that she is OK and that you are OK with her.

2) Tell her that you love her no matter how she looks. Tell her often and in a variety of ways. Here are some ideas: notes, cards, phone calls, favors, whispers, kisses, sex, gifts, etc. – but not necessarily listed in order of importance. Note on the sex thing… If she is having self-esteem issues with her hair loss (which most of us do), let her turn the lights off if that makes her more comfortable. Whatever your normal routine is in that regard – lights on or lights off, or, heck, hair on or off – let her make the call as to what she is most comfortable with. Personally, I have a hard time with this because I generally take off my wig, but then I’m distracted when Eric looks at me because I think that “how can he make love to me when I look like this?” Of course, I am also aware that once a man is in bed with a naked woman, her hair is way down on the list of things he’s interested in. [click to continue…]

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Best Things To Do - The Bald and The Beautiful

Accept yourself, let it go and laugh. You’re not “suffering” from baldness. You’re suffering from sadness brought on by your attitude towards being bald.

I first exhibited Alopecia Areata in 1984 at age 10. My hair all grew back by age 14. At age 26 it all fell out again. May 2006 all my body hair fell out and that is where I stand today. (Pretty convenient on my legs and bikini line).

The biggest challenge that I’ve had since first losing my hair is learning to like myself despite my baldness. I still struggle with that sometimes. But learning to laugh at your baldness and allowing others to laugh at it
makes it so much easier to deal with.

If you are bald with no life threatening conditions, count your blessings. Yes, it sucks that I have to draw on eyebrows daily and that my head sweats when I wear a wig, but thank GOD I’m healthy.

So much of your hair loss is driven by your attitude. Choose happiness and choose peace. And don’t worry about hair – you get to sleep in 10 min. more because you don’t have to blow dry or curl it! :-)

– The Bald and The Beautiful

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Dear The Bald and The Beautiful,

Thank you for writing and sharing your incredibly positive attitude with everyone. Everyday I work on accepting myself because I know with that, I will be able to take back control of my uncontrollable hair loss. It’s very hard, but I’m better than I was before. It’s so important to hear positive stories like yours. What you have achieved is so invaluable, you seem to have reached a place that so many of us strive for… self acceptance.

~Y

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Tips For The Female Hair Loss Sufferer

by admin on September 27, 2007

Tips For The Female Hair Loss SuffererI hope for this to be a constantly evolving list with other women adding their own suggestions that have helped them. These are a few that have helped me to try and avoid focusing on my hair loss and just live a more normal life.

1. Be positive and maintain hope. Everyone’s hair loss situation is very different, and yours may actually be telogen effluvium caused by some type of stressful event, or perhaps may be a temporary shedding due to a hormonal change. If it is not, you still must remain positive, even on the down days. Believe that there is a possibility of a brighter tomorrow.

2. Vacuum A LOT. I think the vacuum is the hair loss sufferers’ best ally. By vacuuming frequently you avoid seeing all your hair all over the place. The less hair I see on the floor or on the counters the better I feel, even when I am shedding a lot. Constantly seeing your hair everyone is just a frequent reminder of your suffering and doesn’t allow you to focus on other things (at least that is the way it is for me).

3. Get Rid of Your Shower Drain Hair Catcher. I’ll wait while you throw it away :) That thing is evil! Counting your hairs is one of the cruelest forms of self torment. I am guilty of it myself.

4. Invest in a sticky roller brush. I make sure before I leave the house that I’ve given myself a once over with those sticky roller brushes that are meant to pick up animal hair (I even keep one in the car). I do this because I would prefer to take the hair off my own clothes rather than have the person I’m with feel compelled to pick it off my back for me. UGHH. I hate that. If I was having a good day, that would ruin it for me. I once had a friend I was out with tell me how much hair I was shedding… gee thanks. This was early on in my hair loss and she had no idea I was losing my hair, but that certainly put a damper on my day. I also had another person tell me I was shedding like a cat, I think you know how the rest of my day went after a comment like that. [click to continue…]

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