Women’s Hair Loss Project

I’ve read some of the other women’s stories here and felt compelled to share mine. I am almost 28 years old and am experiencing some hairloss. Today was the first day I actually talked about it, and cried about it with somebody (my mother). I have been too embarrassed and depressed about it to talk with anybody else. When you look at my hair I don’t think that I look like I am balding, but I lose so much hair every day and I know that my hair used to be so much fuller. I feel like it is going to keep getting worse and I am very worried.

I am in a relationship with the love of my life and I am afraid that if I continue to lose my hair he will not be attracted to me anymore. The worst part is that I am obsessed with my hair. Some of the other women have mentioned being obsessed with it and constantly touching it and looking at it in the mirror. It is so frustrating. When I wear it down I find hairs everywhere, on my shirt, on my boyfriend’s shirt, on my pillow…it is never ending!! I also find myself looking at other women’s hair and comparing mine or being envious of theirs (especially if they are older than me and have a thick head of hair). I’ve even gone as far as trying to keep count of how many hairs I am actually losing per-day because I am still doubtful that this could be happening to me, but I have to face the facts, the thin hair I have now is a far cry from the beautiful full head of hair I had when I was a teenager. I think it has been a gradual loss, but the past two years it seems to be falling out more and more. I started taking the generic BC pill for Ortho-tri-cyclen a few years ago and I am wondering if it could be from that. I want to stop taking the pill, but I am afraid I will get pregnant and then my hair will really start falling out from stress!!

I now have some doctor’s names that I am going to call and try to have some blood work and tests done, but I am afraid that there is nothing that can be done for me or that I will start taking things that will make my problem worse. When I spoke with my mother tonight, she said that she started to shed a lot of hair around my age too. In a way it makes me feel better because although she has thinner hair, she does not look like she is balding. Maybe my hair is just naturally thinning out. I don’t really know what to think, but I am going to be contacting some doctors and trying to get answers. I really feel the pain of the women (and girls) on this site and it does help to be able to talk to someone who understands what I am going through. I feel like everything is going so good in my life, but it can all come crashing down if I start to lose hair and suffer from low self-esteem.

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Dear Maria -

I am really glad that you were able to open up to your mom and tell her how you are feeling and how your hair loss is affecting you. The fact that your mom relayed to you that her hair began to thin around your age, but yet she still has maintained enough hair to not look like she has hair loss, is a really really good sign. It is not uncommon for women’s hair to gradually thin as they get older, it becomes an issue when it isn’t gradual at all, but very rapid and sudden.

The fact that you began the pill around the same time you began to notice your hair loss does present the possibility that it is responsible for the onset. That would likely be my guess, but it really hard to to know for sure. I can’t tell you what you should do because getting on and off medication is a very personal choice with consequences, but if I were you I probably would get off the pill and see if my hair was able to return to normal, but I am a little biased because of my own situation. These are such hard decisions to make because inevitably every decision we make regarding our hair loss when it comes to taking pills, stopping them, taking this or that, or not taking anything at all, can always make us lose more hair and worsen our condition. My decision about the pill is based on the my own hair loss story, losing my hair from stopping Loestrin Fe, then later being put back on the pill to treat the hair loss. I do regret getting back on the pill because I feel that early on in my hair loss I never really gave my body the chance to heal itself without the intervention of messing with my hormones through medication. I always wonder if I left well enough alone if I would be better off today. I feel stuck taking the pill, basically forever, because I fear the shedding that will occur if I ever decide to stop. That sort of makes it difficult to have kids, doesn’t it?

But you have your reasons for taking the pill, not getting pregnant is a good one. If I had a do-over I would go back to the beginning of my hair loss and probably not have gotten back on the pill. I’d use condoms for birth control. I really have such resentment toward birth control pills and feel they are responsible for causing so many young girls to begin losing their hair at such an early age, triggering androgenetic alopecia and setting them up for a lifetime of struggles dealing with their hair loss.

Make those doctor appointments and get some opinions. Try to see if you can find a doctor who will be able to examine you to determine if your hair follicles are miniaturizing and if so to what degree. I think you should take some comfort in knowing that your mom started losing her hair around your age and years later still only looks like a woman with thin hair and not balding. That is really good news. For myself, I would have no problem living the rest of my life with naturally thin looking hair. I think most of just want to feel normal and not feel like our heads are on constant display and cause for stares and behind the back remarks.

I wish I had an absolute answer for you, but hair loss is so different for every woman and what is bad for me may make work for another woman and ice versa. It makes it all the more difficult to deal with. I understand hair envy, I have all the time. There isn’t a day that has gone by in the last 8 years that I haven’t noticed every woman’s hair and compared it to my own. Sometimes I see really old women and they have such thick hair, and I feel cheated. But I guess that is true for anything we once had that is taken away from us. If you can, try and talk to your boyfriend about your feelings about your hair loss, it will really help you if you had that support and reassurance from him.

Really take a lot of time to think about what you want to do and make the decision you can live with.

~Y