Why hair loss? Why Me? I ask myself for the millionth time

by admin on September 16, 2007

Today is yet another one of the down days where I seem to focus more on my hair loss. There are a of those days. I guess perhaps it didn’t help that when I went to refasten my ponytail, my ponytail scrunchie had a ton of fallen hairs stuck into it. I flushed all the hairs down the toilet and along went a little more of myself with it.

I wear my hair up all the time, for two reasons, one is that I don’t want my hair falling all over me during the day, and the other is that it is the only way I can mildly “feel my hair.” This is going to be a hard concept to follow for anyone who doesn’t have hair loss, but as you lose your hair whether you’ve lost 1/4 or 3/4 of it, you no longer can feel it (obviously the more lost the worse it is), you become acutely aware of the fact that it feels like there is nothing there. Not a good feeling, it’s awful. I’ve been aware of the “not feeling my hair” syndrome since the beginning, but now it is at an all time high and I cannot actually function with my hair down. It simply does not allow me to think about anything else. It causes me to be paralyzed. From the shower into a ponytail, that’s how I live. Not a regular one either, it’s the kind that the hair is actually double looped and pulled though. Nowadays it is practically the only way I can wear a ponytail because it enables me to have a thicker diameter that the scrunchie can loop around.

I sit here wondering why this has happened to me. Why can’t I be stronger and take back control by making a decision to not let this rule my life or dictate a good day from a bad day. If I was stronger I would shave my head and be done with it. I logically know there are far worse things in life. But even logic cannot pull be out of the perpetual black hole I’m living in. This is my cross to bear.

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Sandra December 10, 2013 at 7:09 am

Hello there , I am a 30 years old woman that suffers from hair loss as well. I totally can relate to this post (I see that it is from 2007 so I’m not sure if you still have these days or they are gone by now) Just wanted to ask you if you have ever think about hair transplant? I am at that point where I am ready to try anything to try to make my life with hair loss nicer even if that means going thru surgery. Do you know if as androgenetic alopecia victim (yes , I feel as a victim today) I have chances to get a hair transplant? Thank you and all the best to you.

Sandra.

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