So I got an email today from a friend I sort of have lost touch with over this last year. This is a person I never confided to about my hair loss and the more severe and less able to hide that my hair loss got, the more I distanced myself. I make up reasons why I can’t get together, work this or that… and she just emailed putting out an open invitation out there to meet up with her and another friend I lost touch with as well. I just burst out into tears and started crying uncontrollably. I cried because of how I must make others feel by avoiding their invitations for get togethers, I must seem like a flake. I cried for my inability to tell them “this is why.” I know they’d understand but I don’t want to be scrutinized I don’t really want any questions and I just prefer to hide and keep to myself. I cry for myself, for the torment that hair loss has caused me, and for any pain it has caused me to most likely cause others by my actions.
First let me say, you are in my thoughts and prayers and I am so sorry you are feeling so sad about your recent shed. I really do understand and I know how much sorrow hair loss causes. I just wanted to share my experience regarding synthroid and tell you that you might consider synthroid as the cause of your hair loss. I have been experiencing hair loss now for about 5 years; it has been one of the hardest things that I have ever had to deal with. My hair loss started immediately after I began yasmin (yes, I know it’s supposed to be low androgenetic but for some reason it caused my hormones to go crazy). Immediately after taking it, I started loosing my hair, my back became overrun with cystic acne and I started growing excess hair on my back. Up to then, I had never experience any kind of acne or imbalance in my system. I got off the pill, but my hair loss never stopped, my scalp started burning and my hair steadily thinned. Of course I went to the Dermatologist who suggested Rogaine, my doctor said I could start spiro (I wasn’t there yet), I read Geoffrey Redmonds book “The Hormonally Vulnerable Women“. At the time, I was trying to get pregnant, but I decided I would try to go back on the pill when the time came. Fast forward a few years later, after stopping breastfeeding, my hair shed started up again. I decided to go on Yaz this time and I have to say, a week later my hair loss stopped and had been stable for 6 months.
During the years that my hair had started to thin, I promised myself when I saved up the money I would go see an Endocrinologist who might be able to give me insight on my hair loss. I made an appointment with a respected Endo in Dallas and I was excited that he might be able to at least tell me why I was loosing my hair, although I suspect AA since my hairs are not coming back. He ran $2,000 worth of bloodwork and found nothing significant. My thyroid was a slightly elevated at 2.8 and I was a little anemic – my androgens were fine, probably because of the Yaz I was taking. He gave me a prescription for synthroid and spiro. Several days after I started taking synthroid my hair started falling out, several months later, it started heavily coming out and I was right back where I was four years earlier, panicked and very depressed. I went back three months after starting the synthroid and he ran $500 worth of more test to make sure he didn’t have me on too high a dose of synthroid ( I was only taking 50mg). My thyroid came back 1.7, everything seemed to be great. [click to continue…]
As most of you have probably already noticed I haven’t written very much lately. I’ve just been sort of trying to refocus my energy to get through this really really tough time. As I write I have to pause as I cannot see the screen though all my tears that keep falling like water out of a facet. I cannot be certain as to why I am going through another very bad shed, I should know by now that I probably should just stop asking why and move on.
For the most part I get through my day, but with a sadness and awareness each time I touch my head or see my reflection. I avoid all mirrors even the ones in grocery stores. I run past store windows for fear I’ll catch that glimpse that will ruin my day. That is how I’ve worked to be able to main a quasi productive day and to live my life… avoid my reflection, turn off the bathroom lights before entering, wear my hair up in a ponytail type bun so that I do not feel the lack of hair I have and to avoid having to be reminded every second of the day that I’m losing my hair as another strand falls on my arm, shoulders or back.
I just took a shower and washed my hair, it pretty much is dried already by the time I take a comb to it, thats how thin it is now. I comb through, saying any words of comfort to myself, a prayer, the alphabet, anything to keep myself busy while I get through the toughest part of my day. The hair falls out so easy like gobs of spaghetti. I consider taking the razor to my head right then and there and just being done with it, but I decide against it for the moment. I’m usually much stronger than this when dealing with my hair but I’ve felt so sad and weak lately. I remind myself it is only hair, and if this is the worst thing that ever happens to me then I probably should consider myself lucky. I feel so sad right now, a heaviness that just sits on me. It’s 4:35pm do you think it is too early for a glass of wine? 🙂 I think not.
P.S. Forgive me if you’ve written to me and I have not answered yet, I will definitely get back to you. I’m just trying to piece myself back together right now.
