Healing. Allow yourself time, in all this to cry, to be upset, to accept the unexplained emotions of chaos at times, to scream, to meltdown. Allow yourself the ability to grieve. Within that have hope that this moment can pass from beyond the pain of which you are in.
It can.
Don’t allow others to rob you of your feelings, to make you feel less than or vain, or stupid for feeling downright devastated by the loss, a loss that I don’t think anyone can comprehend unless it’s happened to them.
I took this picture and I see my age – Drier skin, wrinkles, the dark circles I always had since I was born, raccoon eyes. The signs of aging doesn’t bother me, I’m 45. What bothers me is that I lost so much of life to hair loss, 13 years really spent in a deep struggle before I started wearing wigs at 34. I will never get back that time, and I wish I could get a do over, with the mindset of NOW. My life would look very different, hair loss and all.
Hair loss is awful, I’ll never state otherwise, but it wasn’t worth losing years of my life over. At the age of 21 I didn’t know how to cope, at all, with any of this. I couldn’t process a future. What I didn’t know then, that I wish I did, was that I could make it work in a non perfect way, but still in a way that I would allow me to feel good and live my life. I wish I would have accepted sooner. The denial kept me struggling, the denial kept me in pain.
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