Sometimes it takes a while to realize that what we needed was there all along. I struggled for the past 6 months trying to figure out how to exercise in a wig. Many women do it, but it was a mental barrier I struggled with and ultimately, my solution is to not wear a wig to work out and to realize I can be okay, just being as I am without the security of my wig during times it is holding me back, rather than helping me move forward.
I wrote to a friend earlier today, that hair loss is a journey, wearing hair is a journey, and accepting oneself as is, and for all that entails, is the hardest journey of all. And then I thought, oh snap, there it is… acceptance on ALL levels. Accepting that wearing wigs isn’t going to be absolutely perfect, but pretty darn awesome, accepting that for me I can’t wear a wig to workout and I’m just going to put on a hat or headband and be okay with it. Accepting that this IS my life, this is my path for better or worse. I vote Better!
XOXO
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
I think there are MANY great words of wisdom in your post:) Thank you so much for sharing with us:) ((HUGS))!!
Thanks for sharing this. This is one reason why I exercise at home (I’ve been lax). I go through sporadic times of wearing wigs when I workout, but with a lot of backup plans for securing the wig. ..
I have my workout wig that I change into at the locker room.
Truly understand. Truly understand. Truly understand.
Hello Y, It has taken me so long to be able to write back and thank you for providing a place where I can run to after a major shed and anxiety attack and see how your hairloss journey which has been identical to mine has taken you. You have given me so much! I am a very lucky women- married to a wonderful man and I have have 4 wonderful children and surrounded by a whole lot of friends and family who love me but no one has understood my pain. I am 42 yrs. old and my shedding hasn’t stopped for the past 6 yrs. since I gave birth to my last child. I live in Los Angeles and since watching your videos and haven’t had the guts to call Follea yet. I have so many questions to ask you about wearing hair and how it’s been since you stopped your birth control pill and spironolactone. In the past 6 yrs. I have gone on so many medications to help and nothing has helped. After going on the thyroid meds when I got pregnant with my last child nothing has helped. Sometimes when I read or watch your videos I think to myself that I wish you could be my friend so that I would talk to you and see you in person and just hug you and cry in your arms. You are an amazing person. You have given me and many other women a place to run to where nowhere else we are understood. My friends and family look at my life and they cannot understand why my hair would cause so much pain. Thank you for being there and providing a safe haven.
What an uplifting post! Thank you for sharing so much of yourself. It helps me to accept myself and gives me the courage to move forward! I enjoyed seeing your cute kitty and distinguished dog. Talk about acceptance. They could care less what we look like! Best wishes to everyone.
Hi Y,
So funny, but not like haha, more like I TOTALLY understand!
I was in a change room today at the mall and got the full body shot in my underwear and said (rhymes with truck) – I finally can look into a mirror without avoiding my face and now my body is going a little south and a little jello-y! I gained one thing and lost my only outlet!
I decided I will not work out in a wig either, just not for me. I bought the headbands, just never made it yet and I so miss it. I also planned on going to the early – 6am class at a gym I don’t normally go to either – I keep giving myself excuses because truth is, I am just a chicken shit and not comfortable with myself yet and I NEED to find that acceptance because I decided I physically and mentally need the gym back in my life. You, once again, have inspired me!
I will let you know how it goes, keep your fingers (and toes) crossed for me!
Thanks for bringing me along on your journey, all our paths and concerns seem to intertwine here and acceptance is the key.
Big hug and you totally rock your black cap!
xo
Hello Y…..loved the video. When I got my first topper 7 years ago, I wanted to be able to keep up my workouts. I would just put my hair in a bun and then put a ball cap over top and no one would know anything else. Also, I am a morning person so I get up and am out the door for my weekday runs at 5 am. Most of the time its just me (sometimes the hubby) and I don’t run into anyone else. Of course, the main reason why I did this right from the beginning is because I always thought of my hair as way too pretty to sweat in (lol)!!!! Isn’t it liberating to be able to do this!!!!!! I wish you all the best, and I am glad to hear that you are able to overcome this.
Cheers,
Heidi
THAT GOD FOR THIS WEBSITE!
ooops! THANK GOD FOR THIS WEBSITE! THAT SAYS IT ALL.
LOL – Y, you crack me up…. I love the “oh snap” in your story….. THANK YOU for being….. you…. xox
@Ciella – Thank you!
@workoutwig – I tried working out at home, I’m just soooo unmotivated to do so. I do well in group classes where I know I’m held hostage and can’t leave until the class is over 🙂 I’ve heard of women that actually have workout wigs, but I was so frustrated with myself that I just couldn’t do the wig workout thing in any wig, just wasn’t comfortable for me. So alas, I’ll just be silly hair cut thin hair girl at some far away gym where no one knows me anyways. Perfecto.
@Stella – Thank you for your kind words. I’m so glad you’ve found comfort here. The pain of hair loss and what it does to us runs so deep, and hits levels of an emotional turmoil and devastation that many people who aren’t going through this, will never understand, no matter how much they love us and want to understand. It’s THAT unique. It’s not “just hair.” It’s a loss of a part of ourselves. Send me an email with your questions, I’m happy to answer, chances are what you are wondering is what others wonder too so maybe I’ll do a little video answering the questions. I’m here for you and every other woman dealing with this. I want us all to find inner peace and self acceptance and an understanding that perhaps in this life we drew the short hair straw (dammit) but we don’t have live like it’s a curse, we can accept what it is, and perhaps even be better people in life for having faced and conquered this seemingly insurmountable obstacle. There is ALWAYS hope: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151131254345418&set=pb.131292050417.-2207520000.1353273259&type=3&theater
@Gls – Thank you!. Yes he does seem a bit distinguished, those gray hairs show his wisdom, which for him is tThat life really is about just eating and sleeping, ha — there you have it, you heard it here first!
@lina – Yea, I feel ya on the “truck” I’m like shoving myself into my pants, I mean this ain’t no joke girlfriend! I refuse to buy larger pants, so pretty soon, I’ll be walking around in a night shirt LOL – But I’ve put my fat on notice, to stop getting soooo comfortable because I’m sending it packing, and as I type that I’m eating cookies.. but they ARE gluten free. God help me, ha.
I’m glad you are coming to the realization of “F it” I’ll just not wear a wig to workout. Seriously, it took me 6 months but I’m like soo at the point of just being fine looking stupid for an hour a day several days a week. The payoff is way bigger and no one really cares what my hair looks like, they didn’t care it was thinning and I can pretty much bet they care more about their hair than mine 🙂 So let’s get this weight loss / exercise party started! I had day one yesterday, I’ll aim for 3-4 days a week. Probably closer to 3 but I’m feeling ambitious. I mean hello, my jeans are glued to me. Please keep me posted on your progress, I should put a little scale clocker on my sidebar here and you guys can follow my weight loss progress LOL I have crossed my fingers, toes and even eyes for you. Thanks for the hat compliment, I feel like a bank robber in it. The kick in the pants with all of this is I hate the way I look in headbands and hats, oh well. Muah!
@Heidi – YES it is liberating. For sure. I mean, I’m not going to lie, I felt like a toad with a wacky jacked up thinning short boy hair cut, but at the same time It was a moment of relief to be there like a toad with a jacked up thinning short boy hair cut, haaaa haa. Does that make sense? Was just self acceptance, and that always feels good.
@Jill – Thank you!
@Annette – 🙂
Hugs and Love To All!
XOXO
great post, as always, Y. so glad you are figuring out the working out thing since especially when one is on this difficult path, it is all the more important to feel good about all the things our bodies can do and all the ways we can be healthy and beautiful that have — wait for it– NOTHING TO DO WITH HAIR.
at my gym in Hollywood, no one looks at anyone but themselves anyway. or is it just that i am a 64 year old woman in a world of 25 year old soap stars? who knows? who cares? i slap on my Brett Michaels bandana and i hit the elliptical. i urge all my sisters-in-loss to do likewise.
stay your strong, wise and wonderful self, Y, and remember…no pain, no gain!
Hi Y,
Thanks for responding. Do you want me to ask my questions here or on the facebook? I am a little reluctant to send it with facebook since there’s a picture of me and my husband and kids attached to it. I am technologically challenged so not sure how to take the picture off.
@Stella – Hi Stella! I just wanted to let you know that you can send Y a message on facebook and no one else will see it – it will be just between you and her….. Just don’t write on her wall (that would be public)…. Hope you are having a great day!! Annette 🙂
Love it!!! You are SO adorable!! Thanks for sharing this. Amazing inspirational to so many women out there!! Don’t wear my wig either when I work out. This is also my path. Works for me!! And it keeps my wigs looking and feeling good for longer : ) HUGS! xoxox
@suki – Thank you, I bet you look super cute in your Brett Michaels bandana! No pain, no gain is right! I did another nutty spin class this morning, I leave there feeling like I’m about to collapse. That’s what 6 months of no working out will do to you!
@Stella – I got your email 🙂
@Annette – Thanks for jumping in here, yes messages can be sent to me via my facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/womenshairlossproject there is a little button that says “Message”
@Nicole – Thank you! Yes bonus… the wigs will stay fresh longer and not need to be washed as frequently. For those that rock the wig in a workout.. that’s awesome and for those that don’t, that’s just awesome too! Hugs back at you!
XOXO
I’m still figuring out what’s what with this website, forum, network etc. But I will say that seeing these videos is a phenomenal boost to my spirits. You are beautiful!! I have booked a trip to LA to investigate both Flora & Follea toppers. I live in the San Francisco area. I have ever thinning hair and it never looks good. I’m just starating on this journey to see what is out there in wearing hair. Had bloodwork done recently but probably all normal …. so it’s probably AGA. I’m not sure I’m willing to get into the spiro, etc medication lottery. Thank you for having this site and all the info you share.