Comments on: Friendships – Reach Out To Those You Care About

By: sue

sue — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 20:09:39 +0000

i want to start by saying that i’m so happy that i have found this website. i’ve been dealing with thinning hair for almost three years . i can’t pinpoint a specific time that it happened. i used to have long, thick hair for my entire life. three years ago, i noticed that my hair was falling out much more than normal. at first i didn’t do anything, but after awhile it did become more noticable. i went to an endocrinologist in town, and he prescribed for me dexamethasone and spironactone. he did this after my blood test revealed that i have an overabundance of dht. for awhile it seemed to help, but i was still shedding. he told me that he was going to cut my dosages and to use rogaine. i was afraid that his advise would make the situation worse, considering i was still shedding. my hairdresser was reading a book published by a doctor named geoffrey redmond in ny. the book was about hormones, and different degrees of hairloss, and treatments. the book seeemed like it was tailored for me. i made an appointment to see this doctor in ny, and he prescribed for me aldactone, propecia and an estrogen patch called vivelle dot. i expressed concern because on the packaging of the patch it states that one of the side effect is hair loss. he assured me that wouldn’t happen. well guess what, it did. i paid this man $750. out of pocket to lose even more hair. when i called back, he said by increasing the dose of the patch, that should correct the problem. it hasn’t. he has told me that my hair loss is due to genetics, but no one in my family has thinning hair, male or female. i’m upset because i can’t find a reputable doctor to treat my hair loss, and i would never even consider going back to this man. reading the stories that have been posted, makes me realize that i’m not the only person on the planet going through this. my heart goes out to everyone that is dealing with the same problem. unless you’re dealing with the same issues, you can never understand what it’s like. thank you ladies for sharing your stories with me, and for accepting me to this wonderful site. if anyone could recommend a compassionate doctor in nj, please, i would appreciate it. thank you and bless us all.

By: Anne

Anne — Sun, 12 Sep 2010 19:50:36 +0000

I just wanted to say to you again “Thank You” – you are wise beyond your years… I just had my 53rd birthday this summer and I hurts to be going through this – I am SO SORRY you and all the other younger ladies are going through this at your age… It certainly is not fair – but as all things in life – some things just aren’t fair…. I hate that we are all having this happen to us – especially when we don’t get a lot of support at home. As I’ve said before, my husband really doesn’t want to hear about it… ANY MORE…. So, that is why I appreciate coming on this website and reading/sharing/crying with all of you ladies…. May God grant us all the strength and acceptance to get through this…. I am not there…. yet….

By: Anne

Anne — Sun, 12 Sep 2010 12:45:01 +0000

I know what you are saying about “life is more than what is on our heads.” I just wish I could get that THROUGH my head, everyday! What a roller coaster ride this has been – and it’s ONLY been a month since I was diagnosed with AGA… One thing I must say though, Y – and I don’t want to get “too” hopeful, is I have noticed a little bit of hair growth on the top of my head! I was so excited to see it! AS I SAID though – I am “cautiously” optimistic about this – and the ONLY reason why, is I have stopped taking Prilosec (Omeprazole) in early June. My son was on it and could not believe the hair he was losing – he too is now off of this drug. My sister was on Prevacid – she TOO was losing hair LIKE CRAZY! These drugs are called (PPI’s) – Proton Pump Inhibitors – for acid reflux. NO ONE else in my family took these drugs and no one else has hair loss like me. The hair loss DID start with the starting of these pills – (2001)…. But, then there is that “dreaded diagnosis” of AGA. THAT keeps my hopes in the toilet… I want to be hopeful, but I don’t want to get my hopes up too high… Anyway, all of these PPI’s (Nexium, Omeprazole (Prilosec), Prevacid,) – check out the side effects, Y and you will see “hair loss” is on them…. THANK YOU again for all your encouragement… Take Care and God Bless…. Anne xox

By: admin

admin — Sun, 12 Sep 2010 02:47:53 +0000

Thank you all for taking the time to respond, it means a lot and I appreciate all your words.

@Anne – I am so glad that this site has helped you, at the very least, to know you aren’t alone in this, and truly I think that is such a big part of our despair, (or at least mine was anyways) to think we are the only ones this is happening to.

I’ve lived with this now for 11 years, something that hit me when I was 21. I would often question why.. why… Did I cheat on a test? Did I tell a lie? Why me? I would ask God, “Why take the very thing you gave me that was so amazing?” I had a mountain of hair.. too much hair to manage, if we can all even imagine that. LOL. Too MUCH hair. There has been a youth I’ve felt lost (my 20’s) and for which I have mourned greatly over (and I’m STILL YOUNG). When all the treatments have failed us, we have to dig a little deeper, to a place that many people probably never venture to in their lives… a place of real acceptance and understanding that life is more than what is on our heads, on our face, the extra fat around our waist. We are so much more than any of that. We get one life… this is it. We choose how the story goes from here.

I know it’s all easier said than done, and I struggle still to this day. The difference I have now.. Awareness, and a *greater* acceptance. It’s a journey for sure 🙂

XOXO

By: Anne

Anne — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 23:52:14 +0000

Hello Y~

I copied/pasted the article below – it was from 2007. Even though this article is three years old – I feel you were talking to ME, directly! This was an article about a girl (Brooke) trying to help out her sister, who was diagnosed with Androgenetic Alopecia. I was diagnosed with this condition 2 weeks ago today. It has changed my life – not for the better, I must say. Everything seems “clouded”… Things I’ve enjoyed in the past, aren’t fun anymore… I am pretty depressed about it….

I always hunt around this site and read articles from the archives and I came across the one below. … What a wonderful response to a sister who is trying to understand what her sister is going through…. It has helped me understand that I am mourning hair that I haven’t lost yet! I must try to keep positive and enjoy what I have NOW…. And when the time comes, if I must get a wig- then so be it…. God Bless you, Y and thank you for the website……

Hi Brooke-

I’m so sorry to hear that your sister is having such a hard time right now. I think every woman on this blog can relate to the feelings she is going through. I know she is feeling that her fate is sealed and she will end up being a bald woman. Not true. I’ve lived with my hair loss for 8 years and while it has been a struggle I’ve learned to accept a lot more than I ever thought I was capable of. I do have very thin hair now that has rapidly progressed due to what I feel was a totally separate issue causing the excess telogen effluvium these last 2 years. But still with some effort on my part I go out into the world even with the very thin hair I have now and get by. Your sister has so much more hair now than she even realizes, a diagnosis of androgenetic alopecia doesn’t mean your hair will all fall out tomorrow. It is for the most part a slow process that takes place over time. Like Dr. Price mentioned, the hair grows back after it has been shed but just grows in thinner. Hair loss treatments are aimed at slowing and even reversing this miniturization process down even further and keeping more of the hairs in an anagen phase for a long period of time. I understand where your sister is emotionally and honestly you are already doing everything you can for you.

It takes a long time to gain what I call “hair loss maturity” where it just becomes part of your daily routine and you learn to accept your current state of hair. Of course it still bothers me, and I still cry about it at times but I am able to deal with it a whole lot better than I did when I first started losing my hair, even through I have tremendously thinner hair. If you would have shown me a picture of myself today, 8 years ago and said this is what you will look like after 8 years of hair loss I would have totally freaked out and probably locked myself away. But that is only because I was use to having so much hair and wasn’t willing to give up or accept myself any other way. I didn’t realize that you can get by with thinner hair, plenty of women have naturally thin hair and have never lost a hair in their life. I had to learn to not hold on so tight and to be willing to let go… let go of the image and pictures of me with ridiculously thick hair and accept the new me with thin hair. I wrote this in a past post titled “At What Point Do We Let Go?” :

“When I first started losing my hair 8 years ago, I used to pray and pray that I would recover completely from whatever ailment or messed up hormone was causing me to lose my hair and that it would all grow back. As the years went by my attitude changed and I started pray that I could just keep what I had and have it stop falling out. More years past, and I started pray that I could be given strength to mentally deal with my hair loss and move on. That is where I am today. Oh course I want my hair back, I always keep hope that things may turn around, but ultimately I really want to learn how to accept myself as I am, today.”

I think that pretty much sums of the evolution of the way my attitude changed after living with hair loss for so many years. I want your sister to know that her diagnosis of having androgenetic alopecia, is just that a diagnosis. It doesn’t imply that she will be a bald woman, it doesn’t imply that she’ll lose all her hair this week, next month or next year. It is a condition a lot of women life with. Some women are naturally more optimistic and better at dealing than others, that wouldn’t have been me. I took it HARD and I missed out on a lot of my 20’s (I’m 29) because of it. It was needless too, looking back I had so much more hair than I ever realized even when I was in the deepest throws of shedding. I don’t want your sister to be like I was. I want her to enjoy the hair she has TODAY. Hair loss is something we have to life with and deal with, but we get a vote in our attitude and how we view our situation. We can be bitter, which I was for many years, or we can realize that all we can do is the best we can with what we have today, and when that is no longer enough we can choose to add hair to our own or wear a very natural undetectable human hair wig.

Life isn’t over. It’s only beginning. There is no doubt that having hair loss has made me a better person. I’m more understanding, more compassionate and more accepting, I work on trying to appreciate the things I am very fortunate to have today, things other people don’t. I am more patient as well, waiting for your hair get some regrowth after a shed is a slow process. I realize none of this will be of real help to your sister now because it probably all seems so sudden and definite for her. But she’ll get better, she has a wonderful sister by her side 🙂
Give your sister a big hug, hold her tight. Let her cry on your shoulder. Just be there. Unfortunately I don’t think there is anything you can really say to make her feel better. Just listen. I also understand your sister not wanting to visit the site, sometimes it just too overwhelming. The site will be here when your sister is ready and I look forward to hearing from her and having the opportunity to write to her directly.

By: Anne

Anne — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 11:50:44 +0000

Beth S.

THANK YOU for your words of encouragement – they are so appreciated! I turned 53 this summer…. I have always took pride in the fact that I didn’t have to dye my hair – it’s darker, with just a few silver hairs here and there. I thought maybe I was being punished for being “proud” that I didn’t have to dye my hair… I don’t think God would punish me for that? I am REALLY trying not to talk about it to family – especially my husband – he is REALLY sick of hearing about it – even though it’s all I think about….. I pray for strength and OF COURSE for my hair back – I don’t think that will happen, however…. Again, thank you and I hope we will all find peace in our own way…. God Bless…

By: Sandra

Sandra — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 03:23:35 +0000

Thank you for revealing your feelings and letting us know that this is all a normal part of our emotions for those of us losing hair. Hair shed is an emotionally charged experience that drains us mentally, socially, and physically. Like all of you, I’m having a difficult time finding support from those around me. At this time I feel like withdrawing from all social interactions too, but ironically it is at this time when we need the love and support from those we care about. I hope in time I also will learn to be at peace with what I have and heal emotionally from all this.

By: Beth S.

Beth S. — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 04:18:28 +0000

I am in my fifties and have been dealing with hair loss since the age of twenty. I can relate to all these comments especially Jeni who says that people tell her she is exaggerating. Well, people used to say things to me like, “I was being so silly” and “no one else notices,” etc. Well, it’s all bull. You know if you are losing your hair and other people DO notice, but it is also true that other people won’t like you any less, or care about it anywhere near as much as you yourself will. And to Anne, I was once in the same exact place you are. Friends and family members weren’t put off by my hair loss, they just couldn’t stand my obsessing about it to them all the time. You just have to FORCE yourself to talk about something else with people even though its all you can think about 24/7. One way to do this, is to encourage other people to talk about themselves and take the focus off of you. I don’t know how old you are, but the only thing I can tell you from experience, is that as you age, it gets easier. Going bald in your twenties or thirties feels “freakish”, but once you get to be fifty, there will be a lot of other women in the same boat. I promise you that time may not grow hair, but it will help you heal. Try to stay in the present and peace be with you.

By: Beth S.

Beth S. — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 04:02:07 +0000

Louise – I was thinking about your sudden hair loss. Did you have a major illness or some type of surgery three months back? From all my years of reading everything I could about hair loss, I have learned that a “shock to the system” can take about three months to express itself as sudden hair loss (telogen effluvia). In other words, what you are experiencing now, could be the result of something that took place three months ago. If this is the case, it will soon stop and grow back. Just wondering ….

By: Anne

Anne — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 23:32:30 +0000

Hi Helen:

THAT is exactly what my husband told me today – people talk MORE about things and are much more open about issues then they were years ago… God Bless….