A Blog Post By Dottie

Last week … for the very first time… I saw a women with male pattern baldness. Not just the diffuse all over loss that I am used to seeing, but completely bald on top with hair on the side and in the back (just like those Propecia commericals on You Tube). The lady was probably in her late 60s with gray hair. The surprising thing for me was that the hair she had on the sides and back was still quite thick! I was impressed by the fact that she was out in public without a wig or hair covering of any type. This wasn’t a woman who doesn’t care about her appearance because she had taken the time to put on her makeup and dress nicely.She passed by me so quickly that I only had time to register her hair loss and glance at her face before she was gone. After she was out of my line of vision I actually found myself wondering if she could possibly be a cross dresser or transsexual. My mind simply could not wrap itself around the idea that a woman could really have that type of hair loss.I know that this lady was not in my line of vision long enough that looking at her could have been considered staring, but I know that if she had not walked away from me that I would have definitely tried to get a closer look. I like to think that I would have found something kind to say or some way to pay her a compliment.

I sometimes wish that I had little WomensHairLossProject business cards to hand to women I meet… but then I have to remind myself that many of these women might still be in a place that having someone notice their loss may be insulting. I feel as if this website has made me more open and accepting of my own hair loss. I think I should remind myself more frequently that not everyone is ready to discuss this condition openly with people they have never met ;o)

About the author: Dottie is a community member of the Women’s Hair loss Project. To learn more about her and read her other blog posts, visit her profile: http://community.womenshairlossproject.com/Dottie/

Here is one of those propecia commercials Dottie was making reference to.

If you had a test that would tell you with some degree of certainty whether or not you were destined to lose your hair, would you take it? We don’t really have to make that decision because it isn’t available for women, however, men now have that choice. There has been much buzz surrounding the new genetic test called, “Hair DX.” According to their website, ” HairDX reports about a genetic variant found in more than 95% of bald men. Scientists found that people with this genetic variant are at 60% risk of going bald by the age of 40. HairDX also reports about a less common genetic variant of the same gene, that if present indicates a greater than 85% likelihood of not going bald before the age of 40. ”

The at home genetic test is like a hair loss crystal ball, a $149 crystal ball. I imagine there will be at least some men that are not going to want to take the test, probably likening it to the drastic comparison of knowing the date of your own death, but there is real value in a test like this. The first benefit that comes to mind is that it would probably shorten the denial phase, and allow men to take hair loss treatment action earlier rather than waiting years and years.

The HairDx genetic test is not currently available for women and who knows if it will ever be. Most everyone probably already knows women’s hair loss is so much more complicated than that of men. I also think that there isn’t enough research being done about female hair loss. Perhaps it isn’t perceived as being that big of a deal or perhaps the fault lies in lack of awareness. The reality is that this is a very real devastating problem that millions of women are forced to deal and live with in their lives. [click to continue...]

A friend of mine sent this to me in an email,  I’ve never actually spoken about my hair loss with this person so of course I’m thinking… SHE KNOWS!! But she sent it to like 50 other people at the same time so I guess that is me just being paranoid. Or is it? :)  The story is about attitude, but the subject matter was of particular interest to me. Here it is:

There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.

Well, “she said, “I think I’ll braid my hair today?” So she did and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.

“H-M-M,” she said, “I think I’ll part my hair down the middle today?” So she did
and she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head.

“Well,” she said, “today I’m going to wear my hair in a pony tail.” So she did and
she had a fun, fun day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn’t a single hair on her head.

“YEA!” she exclaimed, “I don’t have to fix my hair today!”

Attitude is everything.

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

Live simply,

Love generously,

Care deeply,

Speak kindly…….

Leave the rest to God

With Love

I’ve managed to catch a cold/flu buggy thing again. Lucky me. But I was doing a bit of pondering over this last week as I would take my dog for his early morning walk (which he is still waiting for today by the way) about life. I’d walk along the streets in the brisk morning and just think about how lucky I am to be here, to be healthy (for the most part) to have my hearing, my sight and my wits about me. I am alive. What a gift huh? It isn’t going to last forever, we only have this moment because the future is uncertain and not promised to any of us. How could I have let the last 8 (almost 9) years slip away. Not lived, but only existed. What a waste that has been. My hair loss has caused me more agony and devastation than anything. I’ve felt I’ve lost myself a little bit each time I watched tons of my hair fall out and my scalp showed a little more. I’ve felt depression so deep and never thought I’d have strength to get out of bed again.

But here I am, realizing more and more each day that while my hair is really so unimaginably thin, I have so much to be grateful for. I am so very lucky. I think that is so important to never lose sight of. Trust me when I say I know your pain and know it intimately, but while I can’t 100% say “I am not my hair” and move on completely, I am able to put things into a much better perspective and my coping skills have improved dramatically to where I can at least know that life is more than hair, I have a lot to offer this world as do you. This is our time, here and now. Don’t let you hair loss make you change yourself, who you are. The people who love you will love you no matter what, it’s not your hair they love, it’s YOU.

Recently I received an email from a woman named Danielle who was writing on behalf of her friend James. She wrote “Hi. I know this is not what this site is to be used for, but I’m looking for a companion for my friend, James. He’s such a wonderful person and has an amazing heart, but has suffered with alopecia for over 10 years. This condition has held him back from so many experiences (mostly because of the rejection it has caused) and I am frightened he will never find that special someone he deserves. I’m not telling him that I’m looking into this (he would be very mad as he has no self confidence left), but I feel this is the only way I could help him meet someone. Please let me know if we could post this. I know him very well and can answer just about anything anyone wants to know. I appreciate your help. Thank you.”

I wrote Danielle back telling her I’d be happy to post her email and also wanted to find out a couple more details about him. So some more facts about James are:

He is 31 years old and an architect living in Nassau County, Long Island NY

I do realize this is not a typical thing I usually post, but I have friend who met her husband on Match.com and is so happy, so I know internet romances bloom and are sometimes successful. A lot of women have written on this site, asking where all the good men are, maybe James is one of them, a man that would accepting of his partner also losing her hair. Heck stranger things have happened right?

If you have any questions for Danielle you can write them here. Or email me privately and I will send Danielle your email address so you can correspond further.

Yesterday was Valentines Day so the timing is nearly perfect Incidentally I drove myself into a chocolate stupor yesterday, hope everyone had a good Valentine’s Day!

Hi Everyone, It’s been awhile since I’ve written. I’ve been so busy with my job and my new nephew and of course my hair, what else. I definitely have enhanced coping skills but there is no denying the impact hair loss has on my life today. Tonight I have a get together with some friends I have not seen in a year, I was actually suppose to have this dinner weeks ago! But I managed to wiggle out of it with an excuse to only delay the inevitable. It sounds awful I know. I mean I going to be spending time with my fiance and a great wonderful couple, but all I think about it my hair. I’d wiggle my way out one more time if I could, but I just can’t. I actually cried about it days ago when the final plans were made. I was so upset after my fiance hung up the phone finalizing the time, making reservations and everything. I felt angry and sad. I had a major meltdown and was crying, and all at once I was flooded with all my hair loss devastation emotions. Each day since I’ve been looking at today like some kind of punishment. I hate feeling this way. But I know better, I know how I regret looking back on the last 8 years of life and missing out on so many things, fun, laughter… living. I’ll do my best to make myself feel good. I’ll start getting reading extra like 4 hours early because I have to prepare for my possible hair frustrations. Nothing is worse that have a hair tantrum and being late at the same time. So if I start early I’ll have plenty of time to prepare myself physically and emotionally Who knows, I may even end up having a good time. I’ll keep everyone posted about how it goes.

In general my hair loss does seem to being doing better. The loss seems to have definitely slowed, but I am not really seeing any regrowth. I’m not hoping for miracles only to get back perhaps what I lost in the last year (since that deadly shed that never seemed to end) . Hopefully in time things will thicken up a bit. Just enough to get by, thats all I need.

One last thing I’d like to mention, for those women who haven’t yet check out the Women’s Hair Loss Project Network
http://community.womenshairlossproject.com

I encourage you to make a visit. It is a real unique way to connect with other women suffering with hair loss as well and there are so many wonderful supportive women on there. Well that time is nearing when I’ll have to start getting ready for my night out. I remember when this used to be such an easy process, shower, blow dry and go in 30 minutes. *Sigh*

P.S. I’m really really sorry for the duplicate email that got sent out yesterday to the subscribers that contained several of the previous posts in it. I switched the site over to a new server and it seems feedburner (the subscriber service) recognized some of those posts as new even though they were not. So apologies for any inconvenience that caused.

The title may seem to be surprising.. but, actually, when analyzed accurately.. it is not. I have been an AGA sufferer for a few years now. and I AM SICK OF THIS SITUACION. What I want now is only “to have this situation solved one way or another. Either grow back or fall out completely. So that I can resolve it and move forward.” Based on my prior experience I know that grow back is impossible. You may say I gave up. Yes, I did. Because there is no point trying to fight with anenemy you don’t understand and one you are blind and deaf against. You will only go through better and worse times, being moody so that people around will not stand you anymore. Curing uncurable puts you in a perpetual state of false hope. You neither have decent hair nor a good replacement; You’re betwixt and between.I have had enough. Finished medical treatment and wait for so little hair to shave it off. Be beautiful for myself when totally bald. I can accept it. And being beautiful to people around who have no idea, when wearing the best available vacuum wig. Just hard times for me when the final hair loss comes. Wish me strength. I hope I manage.”I am literally a shell of my old self and I am quite frightened. Sometimes I just want to shave my head and get a full best quality undetectable wig so I don’t have to see anymore hair in the shower drain, sink, bathroom floor, back of my shirt, etc. I don’t want to have a partial replacement system on a clip, as it is just inconvenient.I don’t want to have a partial replacement system based on adhesives as I would never accept my looks with severe typical men’s baldness. I want to shave my head and become beautiful again. And I will.Nobody can understand me. But I do not care. This is only my life and my best times (I am 24)

*********************
Dear Gosia,

Thank you so much for writing your story. Your thoughts are my thoughts. Your feelings are my feelings. On more occasions than I can count I have wished for there to be some finality to this never ending hair loss nightmare. Some closure…anything. I’ve felt the torture, the decline and slow death of my self esteem tear away minute by minute, day by day and year after year. You reach a point where you throw your hands up in the air and say “if I’m going to be bald then fine let it happen all now and let me get on with my life, because this strand by strand thing is eating me alive.” [click to continue...]

634 women have voted in the poll, “How Old Were You When Your Hair Loss First Started?” What may seem surprising to many, but not myself is that the highest number of votes are currently for the 15-20 age range with 133 votes. Second highest votes are for the are range 20-25, with 126 votes. But as you study the rest of the results you’ll see that the only conclusion that can be drawn is that hair loss strikes at any age, hardly discriminating. Here are the full results as they stand now:

15-20 (21% 133 Votes)
20-25 (20% 126 Votes)
40-50 (17% 110 Votes)
30-35 (16% 103 Votes)
25-30 (15% 95 Votes)
50-60 (8% 51 Votes)
60+ (3% 16 Votes)

I’m going to keep this poll running until it hits 1000 votes. I think it is very telling that we aren’t alone in this no matter what age we are. If you haven’t voted yet, you can find the poll on the right side bar, you may have to scroll down a little to see it. My vote, age 21.

Hi everyone, holidays are so busy… So many people to see so much stuff to do. I hope everyone has been enjoying themselves.

I have to tell you, I found the world’s best ponytail holder. I was having so many problems with all my current hair ties because nothing would hold my thin hair in a ponytail, all the hair ties would slip off and be a constant reminder of my hair loss. Every time I go to the grocery store I’m always looking in the ponytail hair tie section to see if I find anything, and I did!! It is made by “Goody” and called “Stay Put Hold” There is also one called “Slip Proof Hold” which is very similar. That hair tie gives a super tight grip to the hair and I can finally wear a ponytail comfortably without the band constantly falling out. It’s got a rubber feel with treads on it which keep it in place. This is a definite must have for anyone with thin hair, I bought 15 packs, and I’m certainly going to buy a bunch more. I found it about a week ago and kept meaning to write about it, but the holidays had me running around.

Looking forward to the new New Year, one thats filled with less depression, more happiness, more self acceptance and of course more hair I have lots to write about and have received many emails from from so many women with personal hair loss stories which I will be putting up. I apologize for not writing as frequently as I usually do, I’ve been so busy with work and the holiday season.

Cheers to the New Year.